Cora Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 First of all I respond to my ex after he contacts me after three months of NC and we are still talking. What the hell am I doing? I knew I shouldn't have responded because I knew what would happen and damnit it's happening! I'm starting to fall for him again. He hurt me and treated me badly but I'm now starting to fall for him again. I'm gonna get hurt really bad!!! I have also been in touch with his ex fiancee and we have become really close. I have told her that I no longer talk to him....LIE! I have also told him that I am no longer talking to her.....another LIE! When he first contacted me after three months I accepted his friend request on facebook which I knew I shouldn't have done. I start to feel guilty and start worrying that his ex will find out. I didn't want this because I'm starting to get really close to her and I didn't want her to think terribly of me for lying to her. So yesterday I delete him from my facebook. Tonight he confronts me about it so I spill the beans. He was really upset that I was still talking to her. We starte to argue but stupid me apologizes to him and tells him I will no longer speak to her. I told him my friendship with him is more important and I add him back to my facebook. This is another lie because I don't want to stop talking to her. I feel like I'm caught in the middle. I'm such a horrible person for lying to this poor girl about talking to her ex. She has been crying her heart out to me and I am doing nothing but lie. In the meantime I am falling for the guy who completely disappeared on me without saying goodbye. Maybe I think I deserve no better I don't know but I feel so terrible right now. I allowed him back into my life and now I'm doing the very thing I told myself I wouldn't do....I'm starting to get all those feelings back for him. I told myself I could be strong and wouldn't allow those feelings to surface....I lied to myself and said we can manage to be "just friends"...no problem! Wow when I'm naive I'm naive let me tell you. I'm so scared because I know it's only a matter of time before he starts to go back to his old ways and I'm gonna be crushed! Why did I do this? Why did I let him back in? I'm sooooo stupid! I can't believe I'm even writing this. I never thought I would do this. I thought I was so much stronger than this!!! I'm such a coward. Anyone who is thinking about breaking NC......DON'T DO IT!!!!! It will only end it heartache!!!
TheBigCow Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 You are not a horrible person for telling a few white lies, but you're going to get yourself in way too deep. Decide whose feeling matter here and work to stop them being hurt (sounds like you think its the other ex).
Lucky_One Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 WTF???!???!???? I mean, Cora, SERIOUSLY, WTF???!????!??? You KNOW you aren't talking in any sort of romantic, kind, or even POLITE way to this ********* who treated you like a leper? PLEASE tell me I mis-read????
Cinnamon777 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Cora... take a deep breath. You are not a terrible person! You are just getting sucked back into him, but you can stop. You can turn to your friend (his ex) and talk with her. Let her boost your strength and together you can stay away from him. You see how much pain she has been in and you know how much pain you have been in SO... you know you don't want that anymore. Go NC again. Just tell him that even though you still have a soft spot for him that you also still remember how terrible things were and you are not willing to walk that path again. Tell him that your friendship with his ex is more important because she was there when he wasn't. She has been there while you have been putting your life back together from HIS betrayal. Choose to love yourself first. Is it in your best interest to be friends with him? It doesn't sound like he is good for you. Please... keep writing on LS and let everyone help you to stay strong and do what you need to do to be done with him.
Girlygal Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 It sounds as though you have truly bonded with this girl and that the friendship you have made is one that could potentially last the rest of your lives. I would come clean with her and use that friendship as the strenght to stay away. I am assuming by luck ones reaction the relationship with him was horrible. so get, run, scidaddle, and my favorite of all be PROACTIVE not REACTIVE!
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