ruggy Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Not a pitty thread, just trying to gauge what is going on. Yea, I have dates outside in the real world, but they ain't the greatest. Tried three dating services, have not had a bit in months. Not sure why. Eharmony - have dozens of matches open all at stage one or two. Match.com - over five hundred views no contacts though. POF was a complete waste of time. Truly at a loss. Not sure what's going on..
BobSacamento Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 You are initiating contacts with these women right? Your not just sitting back and waiting for someone to contact you? You gotta go full court press for these women. From my experience with online dating - women hate to contact men. When they do they always tell me they feel like "creepers". So be chivalrous and make the effort to contact them.
Author ruggy Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 Yep, always. Well over 200 contact attempts on Match. A few replied saying nice profile and whatcha doing and such then died. Same on eHarmony. They view me and either A do nothing, B select Other and close the match or C say physical distance it too far away. This is especially interesting when where both located in Manhattan.
BobSacamento Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 It's hard sometimes. I've had droughts where I can't even get a message back and some weeks where I'll be talking with 5 at once. One month where I had dates with 3 different women. A couple months later go 2 months with no dates. Just keep at it. I mean if your in decent shape you should be able to get something. Change up your photos and spruce up your profile.
Author ruggy Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 Could be the photos. Any ideas on how to take good photos?
BobSacamento Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Use a digital camera rather than a cell phone. Usually they have self timers. Or have someone take your photo. Maybe a woman could weigh in on what their looking for. Just don't upload one with you and your sister. They'll think it's you and your ex or something.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Could be the photos. Any ideas on how to take good photos? Definitely use a good digital camera. Different pics in different situations. Don't need more than like, 5 (it can get overwhelming). Need a good face pic. Even though it's the same face, one face pic can look better than the other based on light, distance, surroundings, mood, etc. Try to get somebody around you to pick the face pic for you to make sure you're getting the most flattering one - preferably a girl to choose the pic. A full body shot is good. But when you choose these 5 pics, make sure it's not all in the same outfit/surroundings with just different poses. I like to get a feel for what the guy looks like in different settings. You can make one pic with you engaging in a hobby - those are fun. And for some reason, I'm a sucker for a guy posing with his dog. LOL
Citizen Erased Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Could be the photos. Any ideas on how to take good photos? Yes. One that doesn't make you look like a penis: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/images/200710/20071026pets_naked_mole_rats_006_500.jpg
paddington bear Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Not sure what you look like, but if you're just average then I think internet dating is a pain in the ass. Out in the 'real world' you can charm the pants off people and what you look like pales into insignificance. This is what I hate about internet dating, it is all based on primarily the photos and then after that what you've written on your profile. Anyway, from my own browsing through internet sites, I can tell you this. Moody, brooding 'posed' photos make you look like a self-absorbed idiot. Shots of you bare-chested showing off your buff body are more appropriate for gay dating sites where there seems to be that competitive thing of who is more gym-toned. Photos taken on holiday of you off in the distance by the shore, no good, can't really see you, likewise with bad lighting, half in shadow and so on. The best ones, for me anyway, are ones of the guys who look happy and relaxed. Big smiles - it's like in real life, a smile makes you seem approachable and fun. What also works (for me - and I haven't seen this often) and it depends on your sense of humour, is not the standard 'pick me! Pick me!' photos. To kind of make a joke out of the whole thing, you could obviously posed, obviously cheesy photos related to your stated interests. You like cooking, put on that apron and pose in front of the stove with a spatula in one hand and a cheesy grin on your face and a burnt meal in the oven. Like going to movies, get a pic of you skulking outside a movie theatre wearing a coat with the collar pulled up like some dirty old man. You like going for walks? Picture of you with a silhouette of a female beside you with 'ms right' written on it. Stuff like that makes you stand out from the crowd and at least gets people interested. Also I think desperation in real life gets no one anywhere, and I'm not suggesting that you're desperate, but showing that you're relaxed about the whole thing and having fun with it will radiate off your profile. Obviously you don't have to do exactly the above, just trying to get you to think about how on the limited platform of a dating site how to get across your personality through images and what you write. I read somewhere that the qualities that women appreciate in men are kindness and humour. So if you can somehow show you are fun and don't take yourself too seriously that should help.
Bells Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Not a pitty thread, just trying to gauge what is going on. Yea, I have dates outside in the real world, but they ain't the greatest. Tried three dating services, have not had a bit in months. Not sure why. Eharmony - have dozens of matches open all at stage one or two. Match.com - over five hundred views no contacts though. POF was a complete waste of time. Truly at a loss. Not sure what's going on.. Yeah, I would be lucky enough to get at least 2 dates a year from dating sites. Most of them are non-responsive to my emails (ignore them). Or when I finally DO get an email, we email back and forth 3 or 4 times, then in my LAST reply to her email....no response. I wait a couple of days , "Hey, hadn't heard back from ya, how was your weekend?" No response.... They just fall off the face of the planet, which is rather rude just to leave me hanging like that. They probably found the bigger better deal. Sometimes you get people who wind up "perpetual pen pals" Had this one woman, she probably lived within a couple of miles of my house, after emailing back and forth a week since monday, I asked for her number, she said she wasn't ready yet. I was able to get her myspace and add her on as a friend and continued chatting there.....another week goes by, I ask her to lunch. Again "wasn't ready yet" I asked her, "So...hm, when will you be ready?" Her: "Dunno" I said, "Well, I'm going to have to move on, I don't want a pen-pal." And that was that. Nothing ever seems to move on to the REAL world with these women, lol!
Bells Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Shots of you bare-chested showing off your buff body are more appropriate for gay dating sites where there seems to be that competitive thing of who is more gym-toned. Photos taken on holiday of you off in the distance by the shore, no good, can't really see you, likewise with bad lighting, half in shadow and so on. Yeah, and don't forget women who have professionally done bikini shots sitting out by the pool or straddling a Kawasaki bike with a half-shirt and tight Daisy Duke shorts. Granted they look hot, and can get away with a string bikini because they take care of themselves, but chances are they're just doing it for the attention and the tons of emails they get and not answer.
robinincarolina Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 And lets not forget your profile. What does it say? The words you write speak volumes. I did online dating and there was this guy on there, had a beer belly, not what you would call hot by any means but his profile was just irresistable. Granted we did not stay together, but we did date and he was great. He is now married to a great lady and I met someone else with another great profile. Make sure your profile is upbeat, fun etc. I had a great profile when I was on the dating sites I must say. There is an art to writing it. That and the quality pics. Its all in presentation. They may have a great pic, but if the profile is boring, I moved on.
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