MercedesMarie23 Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Hi, I'm eighteen years old and have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years. He is wonderful. We get a long amazingly. He is my best friend, my rock, and the only one I can go to when I need help. However, something is wrong. Although he is amazing, would never cheat on me or hurt me in anyway, I'm not romantically attached to him. I don't think I ever was. He never gave me butterflies, made my heart go faster, any of that stuff. But he's such a great guy, I kept hoping that those feelings of intense romance would come eventually. I was trying to force myself to fall in love with him. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death. But I don't think I'm in love with him. Plus, I'm not sexually attracted to him. I used to be, but for the past few months I haven't been at all. I don't know what wrong with me. So now I'm thinking about breaking up with him, but I don't know what to do...any help?
miss_life Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 you cant force falling in love it jsut happens. talk to him. hes in this with you, talk to him and if hes mature he will appreciate you being honest with him. its better to end it than live a lie. maybe hes feeling the same way.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I'm not romantically attached to him. I don't think I ever was. There is your answer. At your age, life is too short to try to force yourself to be in love with someone you aren't, and it is surely too short for him to be with a girlfriend who isn't in love with him. Cut him loose, and give him (and yourself) the opportunity to live life, date, and experience life a little bit before worrying about compromising about tying yourself down to someone you aren't in love with. Goodness knows there will be plenty of time for that later in life.
hazeleyez7 Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I have been married and divorced before. I'm 27 years old so I have experience with relationships. I was only divorced because the guy I was with cheated on me several times and it wasn't because I was unattractive. There's always good and bad in every relationship and you said you can trust him and you get along amazing. Just think..what if you break it off and tear him apart over this and you end up with someone worse? Life is not all about being attracted to someone physically...we all get old and you will too someday and your gonna want someone who loves you for who you are and not what you look like. Good men aren't easy to find. If he loves you then I'm confident that he will make whatever changes needed in order to please you, but try to look past all the physical flaws and look at how he treats you and fall in love with him for that. You want to settle with someone who won't end up as a "waste of time" because it didn't work. It seems maybe your expecting these butterflies and intense romance because thats what the movies show, but thats not realistic. How do you know the next person will give you buterflies? Whats more important than butterflies is the way he loves you. Maybe you should suggest to him you wanna be impressed a little more and he can do this by taking you out on romantic dates whether it be dinner at a fancy resteraunt, a movie or some alone time in a hot tub. Try to find new ways to spark your romance with him and ask him to cooperate!! Hope I helped : ) Take care!!
mental_traveller Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Hi, I'm eighteen years old and have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years. He is wonderful. We get a long amazingly. He is my best friend, my rock, and the only one I can go to when I need help. However, something is wrong. Although he is amazing, would never cheat on me or hurt me in anyway, I'm not romantically attached to him. I don't think I ever was. He never gave me butterflies, made my heart go faster, any of that stuff. But he's such a great guy, I kept hoping that those feelings of intense romance would come eventually. I was trying to force myself to fall in love with him. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death. But I don't think I'm in love with him. Plus, I'm not sexually attracted to him. I used to be, but for the past few months I haven't been at all. I don't know what wrong with me. So now I'm thinking about breaking up with him, but I don't know what to do...any help? Break up as amicably as you can. Imagine living married with kids for 30 years and never being in love? You will either be very unhappy or cheat on him. Break up and that way you can meet someone who does give you the feelings you want. "Niceness" is for friends, not lovers.
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 OP, welcome to LS. At your age, IMO, it's better to expose yourself (socially not sexually) to many men and learn more about yourself and your psyche and preferences in romance/interpersonal relationships. There's plenty of time for serious LTR's in your future. Look at it this way. In a month, a year, ten years, if you and this young man are truly compatible and meant for each other, you will find each other and will recognize that dynamic as more mature, more deeply spiritual and emotional people. You might find it to be a totally different and more valuable love than what you feel you don't have right now. Live and learn. That's life's lesson.
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