kostoronto Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 There are two women in my life and it's really confusing me. I met one of the girls at a party and the other over the internet. No judging, please Anywho, I met the online girl about 2 months ago. We talked for hours on end at first. We still talk, but it's thinning out. It seems like she's almost ignoring me at times. Lucky me, we started developing feelings for each other before the whole ignoring thing happened. We both agreed that we had considered a relationship, but not seriously because of the distance. It was after that conversation that things started deteriorating. From then on, she became far more flirty with other guys, our chats went from 5 hours to 3 hours to an hour to barely 20 minutes. Over that time, I had mixed emotions. I really care about her, but it hurts to think that she could suddenly cut me out of her life. Right around that time, I met this other girl, in real life, at a party. We hit it off, chatted, and were close the entire night. We had our first date yesterday. The weird thing is after the date, all I could think of was the online girl. How much I liked her, how much the girl I was out with wasn't as good, and how I had blown it with the online girl. I plan on not talking to the online girl for 10 days so that she realizes she takes me for granted. In the meantime, I'll focus on my studies, go out with the other girl, and try to keep myself busy. My questions: 1) How can I stop myself from contacting her? 2) Is this situation normal? 3) Do you have any commentary/advice on my situation? Thanks!
motive2002 Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 You didn't blow anything. People can be fickle. Maybe this online chick is chatting up other guys? So what. Don't feel all depressed like you blew anything. Maybe she's just interested in someone else. It happens. As far as the girl from the party? She's not "as good"? Well you've got two options here. Either give her a chance or move on. Don't lead her on, then she'll just wind up here talking about how men confuse her. My questions: 1) How can I stop myself from contacting her? Just stop. Seems straightforward enough. 2) Is this situation normal? For young, fickle people just dating casually? Yes. 3) Do you have any commentary/advice on my situation? Just relax and go with the flow. Don't get all serious with someone until more time is invested and more interest is shown. It doesn't have to be all or nothing right off the bat.
Author kostoronto Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 Appreciate the advice. It's just that I find it hard to not talk to her. For the past 2 months I've talked to her everyday for about 3 hours, and on some days, more. This is usually a problem girls have, but I'm having a real problem trying to not talk to her.
motive2002 Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I understand. I've been in that situation before.. almost exactly. She was talking to me for hours and hours, but her flaky behavior was giving me bad vibes, and I should have trusted my gut. With it being online, over the phone and long distance.. plus the flaky behavior, it didn't give me any peace of mind. If you aren't feeling the peace of mind like in my case, it may be a good idea to follow your instinct and cut off contact. It's not the end of the world if you and this elusive girl don't develop into anything. YOu just met another one at a party... and I'm sure there will be others. I have my own opinions of relationships that start online and are long distance. I don't want to be the cloud of doom here, but I would personally not get anywhere as invested as I was before. Not even close.
Author kostoronto Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 I know what you mean. Waiting with bated breath for the next time she calls, emails me, messages me...it gets tiring. Whenever I'm talking to her, I feel like I'm talking to the person I'm meant to be with. We always talk about how similar we are. How much we have in common... I'm proud of myself, though. I had the chance to talk to her a few minutes ago and I didn't. I'm probably going to be hanging around here for the next 10 days to detox this girl out of my system. Lots of dog walking, trips to Chapters, and dates with the girl from the party for the next little while
Recommended Posts