IceIceBaby Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years...he is 28 and I am 27. Two years ago he was laid off from his job. He basically took a 6 month vacation on unemployment and has never gotten his career back on track. For the past two years he's been making $10/hour...this is a guy with a college degree. I don't see much effort from him to change his situation. We are years and years from engagement, a house, kids, etc. And I personally do not want to wait or potentially never have these things that are very important to me. I've explained my concerns to him...yet here was are over 3 years later and still in the same situation. (I just want to note that I have been working since I graduated college. I work full time and live on my own and have been saving my butt off. Just so no one thinks I'm looking to be taken care of.) So basically last weekend I told him I needed some time to myself...a break from us. He told me to take the time I needed. It has been a week now. I'm not even sure what I want, but I know the best thing for me is to leave this guy. Call me shallow, but I just see more for myself. If I don't get in touch with him, I have a feeling he will just let me go. He'll tell himself that he's the reason I'm unhappy and we'll most likely never speak again. I know that sounds crazy, but he has too much pride to call. And knowing this, I feel like I don't want to reach out either. So my question is...is it crazy to just let this go without a goodbye talk? If he has no intention of calling...should I?
NopeNah Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 He's probaly depressed about his situation and possibly needs some profesional counseling. Up to you if you want to work through it with him. Sounds like your minds made up. Do you love this guy?
Author IceIceBaby Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 I love him very much but I feel like if I stay with him I will never have all of the things that are very important to me. And that is a difficult thing for me to accept. I'm not sure if anything will change him...if he's just a lazy person, then he's just a lazy person. People don't change. How long was I supposed to wait and hope things would change? At this point, I think my mind is made up. We've discussed this issue many times and I've told him what I need from him for years. I guess I need to decide if I just let this go or get in touch with him and let him know it's done.
kizik Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 You have to do what you think is right for you. Always. No matter what. So, it sounds like that means losing this guy and relationship. It's going to hurt for a while, but then you'll be in such an amazing, independent place that you'll forget what you ever saw in him. Good luck.
Enema Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 By not contacting you, he's giving you the space you asked for. You're the one that asked for a break, so I think you definitely owe him a goodbye call.
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