xxSRMxx Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I have let myself down so much Not only did i break no contact, i spent the night with him etc. IDIOT! and now im back to square one. It all started because I went for a drink with my friend and he was there, we were sat at the same table I thought id just keep the peace and be polite etc. Then after a few drinks he starts making me laugh etc. Then he starts talking about things we did etc, just general nice talk. Then we all went for food and i ended up sleeping with him that night. I woke up in the morning and went home, I will admit i didnt think we was back 2geva or nefing, i kinda regretted it but i was also stupidly pleased 2 have spent the night with him. I didnt get in touch with him when i got home. That was thursday night, the next night a mutual friend had a suprise party, I went and was having a rly good night and he showed me up, I was pretty drunk and for some reason i kept asking him if he was ok. He started havin a go at me, we had a blatent argument, I got upset, my friends were telling me hes an idiot etc. I cried, Looked stupid and when he started speaking to a girl i think hes seeing i decided to go home. I woke up saturday and made a concious decision that I cannot cry anymore (even though im crying now lol) I havnt spoke 2 him today, I think its inevitable i'll see him due to all our mutual friends, so ive decided to go off the scene for a bit and sort my head out. Most of these emotional outbursts of mine have happened after consumption of wine!! The alcohol clearly isnt helping me. at all. People have told me ive changed, I wake up everyday and just feel sad, so sad. I KNOW i'll get over it, we all will. But I just get an overwhelmng sense of sadness all the time. Ive had enough of being sad.
tigerstripes Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I think you just need a big hug. You've seen what hurts you more and what situations aren't good for you so kudos for that. Maybe taking some time away from "the scene" is a good idea but don't isolate yourself.
Author xxSRMxx Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 Yno I do think I just need a big hug. Also, I wont isolate myself, I was thinking spend time with other friends who i havent spent much time with and stuff. It is inevitable tht I will socialise with my ex, therefore I need to clear my head and try to get over him before I see him about. Im just fed up of feeling this way.
Recommended Posts