Hello....then what?

[c1pkw]

Every time I ask one of my female friends how I should approach a girl I like, whether it be in a bar, club library, store or wherever, they always say the same thing: "just say hello".

 

Assuming that I can think of something reasonable to say beyond "hello" and "how are you" what on earth should I say next? No one ever seems to be able to give me even the vaguest pointer. Give me a clue girls, I now that you have never had to approach a guy but at least give me a hint as to what would interest you beyond just "hello". Something that might start a conversation. What would you say if you were in my shoes?

[NotNow]

Since the thing you two have in common is the place you're at, try looking around you before you approach her, and comment on something you see, or make an observation to her.

 

An obvious example is, you're at a bar and there's a game on tv: "Who's your team?" or "I bet you a drink that the Pens win" or whatever.

 

It's OK to ask questions to show you're interested, like where are you from, what's your major, etc., but one of my favorite quotes is "Interrogation is not seducation. Seduction is the art of setting the stage for two people to choose to reveal themselves to each other."

 

So maybe you make a comment about the last time you were at that bookstore (something funny that happened), or mention that you just saw a girl screaming at her bf at the bar just a minute ago, or whatever. Just start a conversation!

[Shock Me Sane]

I agree that you should start by making observations or talking about something relevant to the present situation. Once she reveals one of her interests or something about herself, you can follow up with a story that relates to what she is talking about. Stories should be brief, but I think they're a nice way to relate to someone and get a conversation going. You need to give her something to reflect on and respond to, rather than just asking direct questions that can cause the conversation to dead end.