mariarose1968 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 hi its been a while now.well when it was new years eve i promised myself i would wait no longer than today.I havnt dumped him,i feel angrey with myself and im hurting.why cant i do it? we are together 6 days out of 7 we do every think together but he still goes back there.So why do i do this to myself,yes i love him but why hasnt he left,he says he is scared and wont leave till his ready.But he knows it really hurts me him being there.What do i do,whats the best thing to do?
whichwayisup Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I'm not sure what your definition of D-Day is, but D-Day means discovery day of the affair by the betrayed spouse. Does your MM's wife know? Are they separated or does he still live there? Do they have children? He will continue having you as his OW for as long as you let him. Why should he give up one woman when he can have two? Question is, how long do you want to wait?
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 What do i do,whats the best thing to do? A man only makes a choice when he is forced to make one. Give him a firm decision to make: As long as he is with his wife, he should consider you dead to him - he is not to contact you in any way, shape or form. No calls, no emails, no texts, no letters, no drive by's, nothing. Nada. If he wants to see you or speak to you again, he had better have signed and legal divorce papers and a lease to his new place. Then... stick to it. Cut him off at the knees. Tell him that any attempts to contact you while he is married and in the marital home will be forwarded to his wife. If you really want to see him make a choice, let him know you don't plan to wait, and that you will date in the meantime.
DNU1 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I will go one better than LucreziaBorgia. If you really want to know where your MMs allegiances lie, then call his wife and tell her about your affair! Tell her the truth. Your MM will either cut off contact with you immediately, or he will leave her immediately. Don't bet that he's willing to leave his wife... He's what we call a cakeater. Wants his cake (you) and eats it too (his wife/family).
fooled once Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Sounds like you will continue to live in your fantasy world. You can't force someone to be with you. He obviously isn't ready and you can't force him to be. Sure you can give him ultimateums, but only if you are going to back them up. Sounds like he wants to stay married to his wife.
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