jq1985 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 One of my best friends and I ended up getting involved over the last year, we have both been moving around between different cities over that time (she was in Seoul and I was in San Francisco) but whenever we were together it was like we were dating in every way, we would talk 4-6 times a week and got really close over the last year. However, it wasn't ever a real long distance relationship, just kind of casual since we never had a real chance to be in the same place. She recently moved back to Portland, and we saw each other about once a month from January to April. It seemed great, until last week she told me she is seriously dating someone else. She was really hesitant and apologetic about it, really worried that I would be hurt or that she would lose me as a friend. I am hurt. I guess I never realized my feelings were so strong until it was too late. My question is what do I do now. She still wants to be friends. Its really hard for me to think about losing her friendship, we are still so close, but at the same time, it hurts more for me to see her with someone else. She's the kind of girl that is really dedicated to her relationships and will work really hard to make something work. I know she had feelings for me in the (very recent) past and probably still does. She told me she started falling for me multiple times but tried to make herself stop because she didn't know what was happening between us (but she never talked to me about it). I know I can't sway her from her new relationship, what should I do? Right now I'm leaning towards telling her that I can't talk to her for a while, I feel like I need space to heal. This feels like a terrible breakup that is compounded by the fact that we're still close friends, I just don't think I can deal with it emotionally. Am I being selfish?
mark982 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 no, it's not unusual to need time to heal,and it's not being selfish. send hedr a nice letter telling you you wish her well,and maybe in the future you could be friends,but not at the present time.
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