Bells Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 In the past there had been bums and stuff approaching people in their most vulnerable positions at some of our gas stations as of late. You take out your wallet, go to charge your card, then out of the blue says, "Hey, I need a dollar for gas, my car ran out" Had another said that his wife was having a baby and needed money to get gas to get to the hospital. Anyone, last night, I got approached by a woman, with a purse, but hindsight 20/20...she said she needed a dollar to get some gas in her tank, by force habit I lied and said, "Sorry I just have my CC" (no cash) This was just a gut reaction, spur of the moment thing. But when I drove off, I saw her standing helplessly by the vehicle in my mirror, I felt bad...so i figured I'd go home and get my lawn mower gas tank and come back to get her started. But, by that time she was gone, so I guess she got assistance. But, you never know who you can trust these days.
Bejita463 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 But, by that time she was gone, so I guess she got assistance. But, you never know who you can trust these days. I've become desensitized to those attempts at panhandling when I saw one of those corner bum type people walk into a parking lot and drive off in a nice car. I suck at identifying cars, but it was fancy. Like, expensive fancy. Sometimes I am sure it is legitimate, but those people are getting screwed by the liars, not by me.
lora22 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I'm almost ashamed to say it, but I never believe anyone anymore. We have something similar, except it's kids at the commuter rail saying "I spent all my money and I need money to get home." Well guess what...you obviously had to get here, why didn't you buy a round trip if you didn't think you could hold on to your money? I feel the same way about gas - you're not responsible enough to pay attention to your gas tank? In case of emergencies, that's why I have AAA. Anyways, I hope I'm not f*cked by karma. I do try to cover my bases and be responsible for myself though
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I've become desensitized to those attempts at panhandling when I saw one of those corner bum type people walk into a parking lot and drive off in a nice car. I suck at identifying cars, but it was fancy. Like, expensive fancy. Sometimes I am sure it is legitimate, but those people are getting screwed by the liars, not by me. That must have been in El Paso, TX. LOL They are on corners by the boatloads begging for money. I've seen them drive up in cars around the corner and get out in their ragged clothes and walk to the corner with their cardboard sign...then they wait until the current pack of cars goes through the light and off they go to work - holding up the sign. I also saw one dude on a $1,000 bike do the same thing - he hid his bike behind a cement abutment. I don't trust any of them, now.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I know people personally in my town who make this their way of living. Some are really, really good at it too. A few you'd swear were legit. You'll see a whole lot more of this with the economy the way that it is.
Lucky_One Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I'll give someone a buck (unless we are outside a store where I think he's going to in and get a pint of Mad Dog). What's a buck going to do to me? Kill me? Break me? Make me unable to pay my mortgage? I have beem extraordinarily blessed in my life, and so many people have not. Some people are born into poverty and situations that are incredibly hard to rise above, and I believe that by the Grace of God there I go, too. So I pass out dollars. It doesn't kill me, and even if I am being lied to 90% of the time, I have done someone a tremendous favor in 10% of situations.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 If someone I don't recognize from the panhandler community we have comes up to me with a story, I'll look them right in the eye and ask them for the truth. If they give it, I give them a buck just for being up front and owning their sh*t. Then I talk to them like the human being that they are. Many of them are more than willing to spill about how they got to where they are once you open up to accepting the truth with them. Homeless people and panhandlers weren't always the way they ended up. Their stories are often fascinating. If they continue to feed me a line (and I am very good at ferreting out liars) I just walk away.
lora22 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I'll give someone a buck (unless we are outside a store where I think he's going to in and get a pint of Mad Dog). What's a buck going to do to me? Kill me? Break me? Make me unable to pay my mortgage? I have beem extraordinarily blessed in my life, and so many people have not. Some people are born into poverty and situations that are incredibly hard to rise above, and I believe that by the Grace of God there I go, too. So I pass out dollars. It doesn't kill me, and even if I am being lied to 90% of the time, I have done someone a tremendous favor in 10% of situations. People like you are inspiring...but I still play it safe and just donate to homeless shelters. Too bad more people don't utilize those services.
Kamille Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I will sporadically give a buck, usually to my regular neighbourhood panhandlers. And to be honest, I don't really care what they do with the money. What they do with is is up to them. I once 'busted' a panhandler in the city where I live now. He approached saying he needed cash to get back to his grandma's funeral... In my hometown. His accent was way off (for my hometown) and he fumbled when I asked him what school he had attended. If he had owned up to the lie, he would have gotten some help - but he started insulting me instead.
Lucky_One Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 A woman who needs a buck to get enough gas to get to her job doesn't need to live in a homeless shelter. She needs some help. I was a the post office Friday and walked past a woman who opened her child support check envelope. $8.21. She started crying. His wages are garnished for his first two children, and she gets what is left over for her child (his third). He just got out of jail for non-payment of CS. (Now doesn't THAT make sense? Take a crappy dad who won't pay, throw him in jail for 2 months so that he loses his job, and then he has no job or income to pay child support when he gets out, and so he ends up going to jail again. Talk about a downward spiral - and a lot of kids who are trying to squeak by with no support from half their parents.)
lora22 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 A woman who needs a buck to get enough gas to get to her job doesn't need to live in a homeless shelter. She needs some help. I was referring to people's comments about panhandlers.
Author Bells Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 Man, I kind of felt bad afterwards. I dunno man, should've, would've could've. It was just a gut reaction to those people who have been doing these on corner convenient stores in the past.
lora22 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Man, I kind of felt bad afterwards. I dunno man, should've, would've could've. It was just a gut reaction to those people who have been doing these on corner convenient stores in the past. I would look at it as, you did try to help her, and if she wasn't there when you got back, then presumably someone else did, which is really what counts.
carhill Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 My last employment many years ago was in an area of homeless people and hookers so I got "approached" many times. My standing offer was 10.00 cash for an hour of their time to sweep the chips out of the machine shop. Never had a taker. That was back when blow jobs were 20 bucks. I'm proud of the fact that I never have given any money to the homeless/panhandlers, though I've contributed thousands to facilities which help people in need. If they want money, they can work for it like I've done since I was 11 or make use of the organizations which exist to assist them in bettering themselves.
Shygirl15 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 What's a buck going to do to me? Kill me? Break me? Make me unable to pay my mortgage? Well, if you meet at least 10 of those everyday (which is the case in DC), it surely would... Unless it's a woman, I always do not offer. Women face so many challenges in life so at least with them, I can sympathize.
Author Bells Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 Women face so many challenges in life so at least with them, I can sympathize. :rolleyes: Gimmie a break LOL!
lora22 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Well, if you meet at least 10 of those everyday (which is the case in DC), it surely would... DC is the first city I've been in where I actually had to start rolling up my windows and using the AC - talk about aggressive panhandling!
Sam Spade Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 My policy in this cases is to assume that it is probably a lie, but if it doesn't cost me too much discomfort, help out anyway. The logic is that doing that at random hopefully would help someone who actually needs it, and if i end up helping out a scammer, bad carma for them, not for me. (the whole karma theory :rolleyes:suxx ass, but that's a topic for another thread) Being responsible (which I am) is a double edged sword in a sense that it could harden you for others' misfortunes and after an extended period of time of being responsible you can end up a bit self-righteous and having no emphaty for people in distress, whether or not they made bad decisions ("They have only themselves to blame" is an easy way out of thinking about that). That's why i have almost to force myself to remember how it felt to land stateside with 150$ in my pocket and no clear idea about how to get a place to live and transportation. A decade later, happily vegetating in the middle-middle class it is hard to imagine that someone could not have 5 bucks for gas or 200$ for a deposit on an apartment, but more people than we'd like to admit deal with this every day.
Trialbyfire Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Most panhandlers here, hang around outside of stores/restaurants. I rarely give cash since I don't want to enable any addictions. Instead, if I believe them, I go into the store/restaurant and buy them something to eat. Some are appreciative, others aren't. That's not my problem or issue. As for this woman who needed gas, it's not often people younger than 50, don't have cell phones to call for help.
bean1 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Pfft, I'd never give a homeless person money. Of course, here's why. First, this is the same group that smashes your car window for change. They're the same group that, when high, will come into your business, harass your customers and throw something through your window. Your garbage strewn all about your lawn? Your toolshed broken into? Yup. I run these people's names every day at work, they have HUNDREDS of incidents of these, often with very long criminal records. A dollar for gas? Come on, that is a typical line. If you want to donate to those who need AND WANT assistance, then donate to your local women's domestic violence shelter or bring food to the food bank. Most people are homeless because they refuse to accept the sobriety rule of shelters. Ask anyone who works with the homeless on a daily basis and this is the reality of it. A lot of people would rather be homeless, believe that or not. Sure, they'd rather have an apartment, but don't like following the rules of society.
Trialbyfire Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Yup, support your local food bank, whether by cash, food stuffs or time. At least you know the money goes towards the people who need it, versus administration aka salaried fund raisers, plush offices or CEOs...
jerbear Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I'm weary of the damsel in distress. I used to get approached all the time at gas stations, train stations, intersections, and random parts of the street. If they ask for gas money, I ask them the pump #. Train stations I'll consider giving them an one way fare. The window cleaners are the worse, they mess up my windows and I don't give them a thing. They do this at gas stations. Really annoying, now I have to clean my windows just to get rid of their crap. :mad: What I do now is if they ask for money refer them to the government agency or if they are hungry, pay for a McDonald's meal. There are a few professionals that you can catch them on their script. They would walk around, show a pill bottle and ask for money for their kids. They asked the same thing yesterday.
BubblyPopcorn Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 My friend was asked for a dollar by a man in an expensive looking business suit who said he needed to catch the subway but only had $100 and didn't have time to break it, he gave him the dollar but then saw the same guy approach another person with the same routine. My friend went up to him and took his dollar back I usually give money to the veterans and I'll donate to the red cross (Peta too ), as long as you don't catch me on a bad day , then I don't mind.
spookie Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 All I know is, with in my precarious position a year ago getting by as a sustenance stripper, that could have *easily* been me. Damsel in distress, or crack whore? I don't know.
Trialbyfire Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 All I know is, with in my precarious position a year ago getting by as a sustenance stripper, that could have *easily* been me. Damsel in distress, or crack whore? I don't know.Was it that the salary was so bad, that you weren't capable of making it on the salary, or was it that you were irresponsibly spending the cash on drugs and booze?
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