t0ri Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 So I'm pretty fresh into the dating scene again, and I'm confused. Here's what happened. So I've known this guy "John" for probably 3 years or so. He and I have hung out numerous times, and he's always made it clear to me that he was interested in me, but I've always been involved with someone else. So we were strictly friends. So my ex and I break up 3 months ago, and "John" quickly takes notice. We've hung out 3 or 4 times since then, and kissed two of those times. I was indecisive if I was truly into him or not, because this recent breakup has clouded my mind and feelings, so I wasn't sure if I was rebounding or sincere. So I wasn't always down to hang out whenever he asked to. So he got a little frustrated and told me a few days ago that he really likes me a lot, but I "don't give him the time of day" and that he likes someone else who actually WILL give him the time of day. So last night he and I hang out, and again end up kissing. I HAVE been giving him the time of day, just not every instant that he wants it. He graduated college and had his celebratory party tonight and invited me. As soon as I show up, he's drunk, and tells me jokingly, I presume, "Lets go make out in the back right now." Then we both mingle separately around the party and he comes back to me every now and then holding me and talking to me and such, and kissing me. Then a friend and I go off to another room, and "John" disappears. So one of his friends asks me where "John" went and I have no idea, so we go and look for him. John's friend and I walk down to John's room, and knock on the door. He didn't answer the door, but told his friend that he was busy. Well...turns out he was in that bedroom with another girl. For about...25 minutes or more. So I drink a beer with my friends and his, and John calls me and asks if I'm still at his house. I say yes, and he says "ok cool" and walks up the stairs out of his bedroom with that girl. I'm a little irritated by now, so I say my goodbyes to everyone and head out the door, as it's late and I was there for him anyway, but he was busy with some other chick. He runs after me and tells me to not be upset. I leave and he texts me saying that this girl is just a friend and he was in the room "cheering her up." Then he texts me some other BS how I'm "so beautiful" and "mean so much to him." I'm confused. Should I trust this guy that he literally was cheering up a good friend of his? I find this incredibly untrustworthy. He's been sooo into me for so long, and then I finally come around and ya... I dunno? Any ideas?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Well, how long did you expect him to wait for you to "come around?" I don't think it matters what he was doing. You were pretty clear with your behavior that you didn't want him. He made it obvious that your hot/cold routine wasn't to his liking. At that point, you should have done something. Not waited until he pulled this stunt. Now, I don't think he was just cheering up a friend - I think he was trying to make you jealous. Well played, John. But really - you rejected him. What did you expect?
lora22 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Well, how long did you expect him to wait for you to "come around?" I don't think it matters what he was doing. You were pretty clear with your behavior that you didn't want him. He made it obvious that your hot/cold routine wasn't to his liking. At that point, you should have done something. Not waited until he pulled this stunt. Now, I don't think he was just cheering up a friend - I think he was trying to make you jealous. Well played, John. Well said, SoulSearch.
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