Mikka Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 So after a night of going out to the theaters with the guy I am dating and his friends, I am really doubting things. My impression of him is doing a complete 180. During the movies, his friend Kolbi pointed out to him these asian girls sitting two rows down. Justin (the guy I am dating), jokingly says "We should have sat down there!" I go quiet and try to ignore it. I was thinking tonight about what kind of relationship this is. He's never had a girlfriend before and he's 21. I get the feeling he just wanted to know what it's like to have a girlfriend. I haven't done anything with him but cuddle and make out, but the more I am getting to know him the less I want to be in this. I found an album online on his old account that he showed me at one point. (so technically it's not lurking! :b) AT THE TIME it had video game pictures on it, and pictures of Japan - it now has pictures of girls crying and being tied up... gorey pictures... more gore.. a bunch of really creepy/kinky anime pictures of half naked chicks that were drawn. I would paste the link here but I think it would be taken down. What is this? I am kinda speechless and don't know what to think of it. D: Would you guys be completely creeped out if you found this stuff on your boyfriend's account? I mean, it could be worse, it's not even porn, but should this bother me? Should the joke at the theater bother me? I don't know what to think... also to add: when he said that in the Theater, he actually got up to look. I was wondering if that's normal for girls to deal with that in their boyfriends. This sounds dumb, but would I be overreacting to tell him it bothered me?
MineThatBird Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 If something about your boyfriend bothers you, it should be aired out between you two so you both can come from a place of understanding. Say what you think and feel about the things that matter. Trust yourself and insist that there are behaviors you won't tolerate. Try not to bend here because if he knows he can break you, he'll do it time and time again. If you want the type of relationship where you can speak openly, then start here with this boy.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I agree with MTB that you need to be the one to say what you will or won't tolerate in a relationship. The behavior in the theater - no, I don't think that's something most BFs would do. That's disrespectful. So...I guess that begs the question, though - are you guys exclusive? As for the online album...is it HIS? As in - he's the one that puts the pictures in the album? Or is it like a community thing that anybody can add pictures to? If it's a community thing, I don't see what that would matter - anybody could have put those pics in there and who's to say that he still visits it? OR...it's possible that the pictures are from a friend of his. Perhaps a friend is using your BFs album to post pics. Who knows? There are hundreds of possibilities. Why not just ask him? If it's not spying, then just say, "Hey, ____, you remember that album you showed me? I went back to look at that picture from Japan and found all these other pics on there." Without showing judgment, just ask, "Are they yours?" I think it would be a good idea to see what he has to say. But I would have definitely addressed the girl/theater comment. Hell, I would have said, "Then maybe you should go now" and would have stood up and left. I don't know why you didn't address it in the moment. At this point, it might be a little strange to bring it up. I mean, it's almost like it didn't really bother you in the moment, but the more you think about it, maybe it does... Kind of strange. I say let this one go unless it happens again.
Recommended Posts