Kamille Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 One of these things is not like the other, One of these things is not the same hehehe ______________
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 It is a shame that sexuality is dictated by social stigma.
grogster Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 15-25 is my preferred range. I'm on the low end, but that's cool.
Sam Spade Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 the problem with these statistics is that who knows where they are gathered from. You've got people who don't believe in sex before marriage mingled in with highly active sexual people, so the averages get skewed - in fact I take any survey with a pinch of salt. Sam Spade, you're making assumptions. What if you are terminally single, like myself. My number of sexual partners are likely to be higher than someone who was in a LTR, then another LTR then another. The person in the LTR has actually had waaaaaay more sex than me, but because I've out of necessity had to break out ocassionally, because shock and horror, women like sex too. I would, by your standards be seen as some kind of slut woman not fit for a relationship whereas someone who's been f****d every which way over years and years by one partner is more preferable? Of course it is a genereralization, and I know better than automatically assume the worst in each and every such case. This doesn't mean that there aren't *many* cases in which the dynamics I'm referring to is a reality. As for the number of preferred sexual partners in the OP, it is actually hard to answer. In a hypothetical world where getting laid costs no effort and has no consequencfes of any kind, I'd like to sleep with every attractive girl ever born - all of them! In reality, it would be extremely difficult to motivate me to chase skirt at this point in time. Not because of declining testosterone levels, but because it's more trouble than it's worth . I've had a couple of ONSs ant they sucked and I lack the motivation to keep going until they turn out a'ight . The number of exs i prefer in a girl is 2-3. Enough to have some idea what's up, not enough to get into the habit of changing them often
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 It is a shame that sexuality is dictated by social stigma. I also wish I could wave a magic wand and make STD's, unwanted pregnancies, and psychological issues go away... As long as consequences exist for actions, social stigma should also exist to help keep people from making bad choices.
AAlike Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 so just to get this straight, the result set is a polling of how many partners women and men WANT to have over a lifetime, not how many they have had or how many they are comfortable with their SO having? if so, it's kind of a nonsensical polling.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 so just to get this straight, the result set is a polling of how many partners women and men WANT to have over a lifetime, not how many they have had or how many they are comfortable with their SO having? if so, it's kind of a nonsensical polling.Yes and no. I think it proves that people do shyte they don't want to do or regret doing. While this wouldn't be a rocket science discovery, it's kind of interesting. It also shows societal perceptions.
Peter_pan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 you only live once so have fun. life is for living. i have had sex with one girl and that was my only serious relationship. now i want different things out of life. so going to try out different women. i wont go mad and sleep with hundreds just a couple. then hopefully one day i will fine the one and only who i can settle down with and have kids
JerseyShortie Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 These "statistics" are making me scratch my head. I need a little more information. In this day and age, men with lower numbers is preferable. Men that have had long term monogmous relationships and then have broken up are the best option because they have the experience of having been with one woman ontop of learning about a woman in a place where he actually needs to respect her. 99% of women are going to agree. With the amount of STDS going around, who wants to take a chance on some skanky guy? Alot of my girlfriends and I talk about this and we vastly agree on this. I will also add that I think alot of men are insecure about themselves and these are the type of men that can't handle that a woman might have had alot of other partners. He starts thinking about the competition and how he does or doesn't measure up and instead of admitting out loud to his feelings of insecurity he will puff out his chest and call the woman a name. It's a form of social control. And one THANKFULLY that enough women ignore and go out there to enjoy themselves. Guys seem to want a woman to be this experienced wild cat, but only for *him*. Which is a complete fantasy and not realistic. In this day and age, alot of girls want to see what's out there too and sow their own wild oats. And despite the amount of names that get thrown around about women, women still go out and get what they want.
samspade Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Who believes these studies? Most men will exaggerate their sexual prowess; most women will downplay theirs. In this day and age, men with lower numbers is preferable. Men that have had long term monogmous relationships and then have broken up are the best option because they have the experience of having been with one woman ontop of learning about a woman in a place where he actually needs to respect her. 99% of women are going to agree. This is an absurd statement that supposes that ALL long term relationships are healthy and mutually respectful. It also assumes that a man who is not monogamous does not respect women. And then it's summed up with an unprovable (99% of women are going to agree). In this day and age, alot of girls want to see what's out there too and sow their own wild oats. And despite the amount of names that get thrown around about women, women still go out and get what they want. But, apparently, it's perfectly okay for a woman to sow her oats and not a man. Typical hypocritical B.S. So if it's a guy, it's skanky, but if it's a girl, that's just our modern age. I guess women can't catch STDs! Here's some truth for you. Of course a woman can go out and get what she wants. Just about any woman, any hour of the day, can walk outside her home, and with minimal effort, find a man to have sex with. That's why prostitution is the world's oldest profession. It's also why the double-standard (the slut/stud double standard) will never go away. From a breeding (read: sexual partner) standpoint, promiscuity is advantageous to men, while selectivity is advantageous to women. Those of you about to make the distinction between reproduction and protected sex need to remember that the same evolutionary triggers govern the act of sex, regardless of whether you actually want offspring. I expect a modern women to have had plenty of sexual partners. I also don't expect her to be truthful about it; in fact, I don't care as long as she's clean and not a cheater. However, there will always be the truism that an overly promiscuous woman is a slut. You can dress it up with whatever feminist b.s. you want, but that's how it is. Otherwise, why don't we just legalize prostitution? Hookers are the ones on the farthest end of the bell curve, and they're savvy enough to make a buck off of it. "My body, my choice" - feminists should be all for it.
4givrnt4gtr Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 You know it makes me feel better aboutt myself this whole "prefered number" because it implies that most people are either sad because they havent gotten enough or sad because they got too much. Either way either u feel like a loser or a whore.....misery loves company. I would have wished I had met my current SO sooner and just had him. Who needs more than one when that one is more than enough?? Too bad that hardly ever happens in reality.
Author Habeas Corpse Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Is there a facepalm smilie? THIS IS A PREFERRED NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS PEOPLE!!! READ THE THREAD TITLE!! This was done by Dr. David Buss, the world's leading authority on evolutionary psychology and mating strategies. This study supports his sexual strategies theory. Science > some internet poster's opinion
mental_traveller Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 That "double standard" is rooted in evolutionary biology. Men and women are different biologically, so naturally, we have different attitudes about each sex's sexual behavior. I'm a man and I don't have a negative attitude to a woman who's had sex with lots of people, so your theory is wrong - at least for me and others like me.
mental_traveller Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I also wish I could wave a magic wand and make STD's, unwanted pregnancies, and psychological issues go away... As long as consequences exist for actions, social stigma should also exist to help keep people from making bad choices. This implies social stigma for STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and psychological issues - not for number of sexual partners. Under your logic, a person with 1000 sexual partners and no STDs, kids, or psychological issues would not thus be subject to any social stigma, whereas someone with who had 2 sexual partners, an STD, 2 unwanted kids, and psychological issues should have social stigma. This seems at odds with your claim that it is the number of sexual partners that determines the stigma. You also don't explain the difference in stigma for men versus women, despite the STD, unwanted kids, and psychological issues being no different. Black people from poor crime-ridden areas have a higher likelihood of committing criminal activity than whites from wealthy low-crime areas. Does that mean we should stigmatize poor black people from the ghetto? Or should we stigmatize individuals who commit crimes?
mental_traveller Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 With the amount of STDS going around, who wants to take a chance on some skanky guy? Alot of my girlfriends and I talk about this and we vastly agree on this. But someone who has been faithful and had only one partner can catch an STD. Someone who has had 1000 partners can have no STDs. Besides, you have no way of knowing how many sexual partners someone has had. The way you find out if someone has STDs is by getting tested and seeing the results together, not by asking them how many people they slept with.
grogster Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I'm a man and I don't have a negative attitude to a woman who's had sex with lots of people, so your theory is wrong - at least for me and others like me. I agree, MT. In fact, all things being equal, I prefer highly experienced (and stigmatized) women as lovers. They're usually much more confident and skilled in bed as compared to their less experienced (and stigmatized) counterparts.
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Two of the four women I've been with were very candid about the volume of their sexual partners, trending more towards the male numbers quoted herein. I didn't perceive marked sexual comfort, skill or confidence in either. I married one of them anyway. IMO, the numbers/skill thing is extremely individual. For example, a woman can have a lot of sexual partners simply by submitting herself, being a convenient receptacle. No skills required for or learned from that. My lifetime preference would be one more.
AAlike Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 What a weird survey... it's like asking how many times one prefers to have plastic surgery in their lifetime. We want the procedure, are hopefully happy with it once we've had it, but down the road (maybe even right afterwards) it's possible we may regret having done it at all. exactly. since this study apparently has no correlation to actual number of sexual partners, perhaps the point of the study is to illustrate that men will select a number that is indicative of "racking up numbers" whereas women will opt for a number that is indicative of enough to not be "prude" or sheltered but not enough to be stigmatized. the question being are people answering with what would make THEM happy (which really is immeasurable IMO), or what would be a number that they would feel comfortable relaying to others...hence a guy would most likely choose a number that would deem him "successful" whereas a women is more apt to choose something that would appear "not prude but respectable."
stillafool Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 These "statistics" are making me scratch my head. I need a little more information. In this day and age, men with lower numbers is preferable. Men that have had long term monogmous relationships and then have broken up are the best option because they have the experience of having been with one woman ontop of learning about a woman in a place where he actually needs to respect her. 99% of women are going to agree. With the amount of STDS going around, who wants to take a chance on some skanky guy? Alot of my girlfriends and I talk about this and we vastly agree on this. I will also add that I think alot of men are insecure about themselves and these are the type of men that can't handle that a woman might have had alot of other partners. He starts thinking about the competition and how he does or doesn't measure up and instead of admitting out loud to his feelings of insecurity he will puff out his chest and call the woman a name. It's a form of social control. And one THANKFULLY that enough women ignore and go out there to enjoy themselves. Guys seem to want a woman to be this experienced wild cat, but only for *him*. Which is a complete fantasy and not realistic. In this day and age, alot of girls want to see what's out there too and sow their own wild oats. And despite the amount of names that get thrown around about women, women still go out and get what they want. You are dead on right here JS. As time passes men will have to accept this "new world" and stop living in the 1950's. Men fail to realize that women like sex too. Unfortunately because of the pressure some men put on women to have low sexual partners, women end up lying about the actual amount of partners to please the man. Most men never really know the truth.:lmao:
Chicago_Guy Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 These "statistics" are making me scratch my head. I need a little more information. In this day and age, men with lower numbers is preferable. Men that have had long term monogmous relationships and then have broken up are the best option because they have the experience of having been with one woman ontop of learning about a woman in a place where he actually needs to respect her. 99% of women are going to agree. With the amount of STDS going around, who wants to take a chance on some skanky guy? Alot of my girlfriends and I talk about this and we vastly agree on this. I will also add that I think alot of men are insecure about themselves and these are the type of men that can't handle that a woman might have had alot of other partners. He starts thinking about the competition and how he does or doesn't measure up and instead of admitting out loud to his feelings of insecurity he will puff out his chest and call the woman a name. It's a form of social control. And one THANKFULLY that enough women ignore and go out there to enjoy themselves. Guys seem to want a woman to be this experienced wild cat, but only for *him*. Which is a complete fantasy and not realistic. In this day and age, alot of girls want to see what's out there too and sow their own wild oats. And despite the amount of names that get thrown around about women, women still go out and get what they want. Maybe some of those guys are insecure to a certain extent if a woman has had a lot of sexual partners. However, I think that a lot of guys think that it reflects poorly upon the woman's character if she's slept around, and I don't think that necessarily has anything to do with any insecurity of the man. The tone of your post makes it seem as though you think it is perfectly acceptable for women to sleep around, but not for men to do the same thing. This seems like a very hypocritical post for someone who is frequently complaining about alleged double standards that you think most men have when it comes to dating.
TudorII Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I get the whole quantity doesn't necessarily equate to experience or quality argument. But...I would prefer a female partner to have how ever many partners it takes for her to know how to please and to also know what pleases her and to be comfortable with sex in general. The quality of sex is not just knowing what to do to your partner and having a few tricks up your sleeve but also knowing what feels good to you and being able to effectively communicate that. Whether a woman figures out how to push her own buttons home alone with her hands, a toy, or 5 men or even 50 men. So long as by the time I get to her she knows what she is doing and knows what she likes. This goes both ways in my opinion. If a man needs to be with 50 women to learn how not to be a minute man, then by all means. Girl 51 benefits the most by the control he has learned. That being said, I am married and I was number 5 for my wife..."alledgedly". In all honesty she could have used a few more partners before me to train her up. Yes I know, shame on me but men and women alike would agree that whether it is sex or oral sex, it sure would be nice for them to know what they are doing and get the most of out it from get go. While the journey can be fun I would like to think a large percentage of people do not wish to have to train their partner too much. Everyone has a past, my opinion is I would just prefer to be able to benefit from it sexually speaking.
amymarieca Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I wouldn't say that most men look down on women who sleep around. I have dated several men who wanted to know all the details of my sexual past because it was a turn on for them. They had the mentality that the more partners I had, the sexier I was. Some men just get off on women who are very sexual.
zhsoj Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I'll play the male stereotype and say: 3x10^6 approximately. Of course I don't think I could live that long. In all seriousness I'd say I value quality over quantity any day. Quality of course not being some objective BS, but rather the subjective lovie-dovie crap... *Sigh* :-\
Lizzie60 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 If you're a woman: 5 If you're a man: 17 Huh?? is this at once.. Gosh...I'm waaaayyyy over average (over 300)
stillafool Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 If you're a woman: 5 If you're a man: 17 Huh?? is this at once.. Gosh...I'm waaaayyyy over average (over 300) :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:Oh Lizzie I love you!
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