nowhereman82 Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 So I don't think the whole story needs to be here but here's the nitty gritty. I have been spending a lot of quality time with a woman who identifies herself as gay. She has been dating women exclusively for 14 years but in the past she has objectified men as one or two time play things but nothing beyond that and no penetration or dating. We spend a lot of time together and have a VERY active open sexual relationship (with penetration, I find this significant). We're both monogamist by nature but we are not bf/gf and have even avoided using the word dating even. When we felt this strong attraction to each other and she was confused by it and as was I as I knew her nature, we chose to not "label" anything as it sets a certain level of expectations. But we see each other exclusively and have developed feelings over the last 2 months. So I feel fairly confident at this point that I should approach her about being my GF as I feel ignoring it, or not moving on further as a 'couple' (again we aren't seeing anyone else by choice) we are just keeping our tunnel vision going. I have for the most part just kept it to having fun and a great time with no expectations as I can imagine this is quite strange for her. So I'm here looking for feedback and your questions so I can work this out and figure out how to approach this the right way. The reason I wish her to be my GF is so that I can give more of myself to her and start planning things to do with her in the future. If she doesn't wish to do that, I might give it a little but more time but eventually I will need to start dating other people to find a 'partner'. Look forward to your responses
alphamale Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Look forward to your responses keep things the way they are otherwise you'll find that your "fantasy world" will fall apart right quick... good day alpha
Author nowhereman82 Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 Believe I address that at the end of my post. I am willing to entertain this for a while longer but continuing too much longer would be dishonest to myself and frankly in my opinion childish. I feel we have felt each other out quite a bit and there is a lot there. She is special, I like her, she is cute, the sex is great....but I can just as well just have her as a friend and get sex and companionship elsewhere....I'd just rather it be her
TaraMaiden Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 The reason you ask is because you have some misgivings about approaching her...you think it may drive her away. How do you think then, that you should approach this? Would an out-of-the-blue introduction to others, "and this is my girlfriend, *name*...." be a help or a hindrance? How about asking her and telling her that she is so important to you, but that you just don't know how to refer to her, but that you'd like it to be that way, it feels right, and nice.... ....and go from there? What do you think? _/l\_
colosseum Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 So I feel fairly confident at this point that I should approach her about being my GF as I feel ignoring it, or not moving on further as a 'couple' (again we aren't seeing anyone else by choice) we are just keeping our tunnel vision going. I have for the most part just kept it to having fun and a great time with no expectations as I can imagine this is quite strange for her. ... The reason I wish her to be my GF is so that I can give more of myself to her and start planning things to do with her in the future. If she doesn't wish to do that, I might give it a little but more time but eventually I will need to start dating other people to find a 'partner' Sounds good to me. And it might be more compelling for her if you told her this.
Recommended Posts