rya794 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 So i met a great girl the other night. shes beautiful, funny, easy to talk to, a grad student like my self, pretty much everything i am looking for in a girl right now. i met her through a mutual friend and we hit it off right away, i made it perfectly clear that i wanted to see her again and that i was attracted to her, she seemed to reciprocate the feeling. the thing is that while she was away at the bathroom i was asking my friend about her and my friend said she was dating someone and had been for about six months, she didn't know how serious it was, but did mention that it was long distance. i have had problems with infidelity in the past, recently actually and i dont want the first girl i pursue after my last nightmare to be another person who cant respect commitment. so ive only been out with her once and i know its a lot to expect that we will develop any kind of a relationship but i was wondering if anyone else has started a relationship that worked from a situation like mine.
TaraMaiden Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 i have had problems with infidelity in the past, recently actually and i dont want the first girl i pursue after my last nightmare to be another person who cant respect commitment. so ive only been out with her once and i know its a lot to expect that we will develop any kind of a relationship but i was wondering if anyone else has started a relationship that worked from a situation like mine. What are you doing?? On the one hand, you say you could not have a liaison with a girl who "can't respect commitment" but in the next breath, you say you've only been out with her once! You should not even be pursuing this line of thought and action! You should be distancing yourself from her completely, and saying: "I really, really like you, but I don't want to do anything to be the cause of a break between you and your BF. I would love to date you, but while you are with him, it is not something I can bring myself to do. I respect myself, you and him too much. carry on with your relationship. But if it falls to pieces, contact me. Until then, I have to call a halt." This is the one and only thing you should be doing. Then - leave her alone.
BobSacamento Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Personally, I would pursue this woman until she gives you the dreaded, "I'm kinda seeing someone right now." Or if your talking to her she drops the lovely "Oh my boyfriends loves that too!" Otherwise if there's no mention then perhaps it's not serious. Don't give up on something because some friend gave you the info. That's so Highschool. Be an adult and get the info first hand.
Lucky_One Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I'd get the info first hand, but i wouldn't do it by pursuing her. I would ask her if she is seeing someone else, and then use Tami's speech. Continuing to see her/pursue her is just falling into the screwed-up-attitude= towards-commitment trap that OP doesn't want to be in.
TaraMaiden Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 "Tami"...? Ooooh....I feel so....'accepted'....! Thanks!!
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