alexa137 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 I recently started "hooking up" with a guy ive known for a few years-the problem is that he still hangs out with his ex, I have actually met her and shes cool and everything was ok until we started having sex about a week or so ago-the three of us would play tennis or go get a drink or something-but now its starting to bother me a little bit because I doubt he told her about our hookups and they still do things together, like for example tonight they are going to see a comedy show together- we do things alone also like he visits, watch movies and he took me to dinner last night at what point should i ask if we are friends with benefits? I also have told him about the weirdness of the three of us hanging out-the ex and I exhchanged phone #'s one day after playing tennis and I didnt hear from her until yesterday and she asked me to go out and have drinks with her-thought it was a little strange since maybe she is noticing he is spending more time with me-i dont her feelings on this and he said that they are good friends even though they were together 4-5 yrs ago- i know i cant change that I guess i get attached easily and also jealous just dont want him to get mad
lora22 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Don't make it about the ex. When you say you've known him for years - how did you know him? Like, we were you friends for years, or did you meet him a few years ago and you just ran into him once in awhile over the years, or what? Because depending on your relationship before you started hooking up, nothing wrong with asking him right now what's up with you two (of course, in a non-clingy and non-possessive way). Leave the ex out of it. It sounds like he and his ex are just friends - if you think they're still hooking up or still have feelings for each other, than you shouldn't have started hooking up with him if you're the jealous type, because if they're not doing anything you can't ask him to stop being her friend, as long as it's all on the up and up. The fact that you've met her and hung out with her makes me think they're just friends. Of course, maybe there's something I'm missing. Do you have a reason to think one or both of them still have feelings for the other?
Author alexa137 Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 I met him about 2 1/2 yrs ago-he was single & i just got out of a relationship so i was devastated and hurt so we watched a few movies and shared a few kisses thats it-after that we still kept in touch here and there through email, text or myspace. a year ago he got into a relationship with a girl and they just broke up in Feb. we started talking again more often and then dinner, movies etc and then the sex started 2 weeks ago-ok so last night after he went to comedy show with the ex(not the recent one, one from 5 yrs ago) he called me and came over, he says hes addicted to me and i make him horny everytime he seems me and i am nice blah blah blah-so this morning he asks me if i want to play tennis i said yes-so he picks me up & whose in the car with him? guess? the ex! its starting to get uncomfortable and I am for sure she doesnt know we are "hooking up" so then he took me home first before her! I was like wow! so i texted him asking"so are we friends with benefits?" his reply was "all i know is that I enjoy hanging out with you & do we have to put a title on it? i explained i felt a little uncomfortable around her now since we are more than friends now, he says: shes my friend and so are you-i want you to be comfy she is my good friend, she does alot with me, is that a problem? He told her that we went out the other night-i said i bet she doesnt know you have been having sex with me? he says he doesnt kiss and tell. he also said " i like you alot- so after all those texts i didnt respond to any because i am starting to think that if i am your friend and so is she what doesnt make me think that he is having sex with her too? well i dont roll like that! i am not the kind of girl who has sex with alot of men at one time so i dont want a guy to do that to me! now for the past 5 hrs he has been texting me asking me questions like what are you doing this afternoon? are you home? im texting you and no response? i am ingnoring them all--if i am his so called friend- i dont believe friends have sex! thats just my opinion!
lora22 Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 --if i am his so called friend- i dont believe friends have sex! thats just my opinion! You are one of my favorite people right now! I hope you stick to your guns! He sounds a little douche-y to be honest.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Yeah. He's a total scammer. You're his good friend, SHE'S his good friend. You two are having sex...it only follows to reason... What a playa. LOL Totally stick to your guns on this one - you're doing the right thing.
Author alexa137 Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 lol thanks! i decided to do the opposite of what i have done in the past, which is hard for me-since yesterday he has texted me asking me what i am doing this weekend and wanting to play softball with him and his daughter(and probably the ex!) of course I waited a few hrs before responding and telling him that i might not be in town(plans with "friends") then he tried calling me 2 times today, i ignored both times, waited awhile and just texted him that i was with a "friend') LOL- then he called so i took the call but acted nonchanlant and kinda cold, like he wasnt important to me, and didnt say too much-last thing i said was "later" and hung up! of course i still want to tell him whats on my mind and its hard not to-just waiting i guess for him to ask me something so my response will be like, "ask one of your other "friends"- i am sure he will be expecting a sexual romp soon since we did it 4 times this past week and he says its addictive-so let him beg or whatever! men are so lame and are dogs! i guess thats why i was single for 2 years!
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 of course i still want to tell him whats on my mind and its hard not to-just waiting i guess for him to ask me something so my response will be like, "ask one of your other "friends" Don't give him the satisfaction!
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