Author tigerstripes Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 So I hate him for lying to me and ignoring my needs. But I still love him for his support during some difficult times in my life. And I miss him when it comes to the little every day things. I know I can't be with him because he has betrayed me, I could never trust him again, and he's not even speaking to me anyway. At the same time, I feel like I've lost my soulmate, as crazy as that sounds. I feel like half of me is missing and even though I'm surrounded by people most of the time I always feel alone since he's been gone. You know when people say oh you'll know when it's right, you just know. Well I felt that, I just knew that he was the one. And I want to say well duh, I was obviously wrong but the truth is I still feel like he is. I feel like this was my last chance to have the life that I wanted, to get married and have kids, so not only am I dealing with losing my boyfriend and best friend, but I'm dealing with the loss of a life path. I'm aware that this sounds crazy and insane, but I can't help the way that I feel. I can only control my actions, not my feelings. I also have nobody to talk to. He was my whole support system. Of course I have friends and whatnot but nobody was in favor of this relationship while we were together and weren't exactly supportive. Anyway, I guess I'm just rambling or venting or whatever.
Author tigerstripes Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 alas, this was the first time I've been left alone since all of the drama started. nobody was sure if he would come after me or not. But now, that is coming to an end as my flatmates will be home shortly. It was nice to hop on and off of LS to vent and stuff.
Kamille Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 I think it is normal to feel the way you do when something ends. Nothing crazy about that. Come vent here anytime!
Author tigerstripes Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 I hate myself for wanting to talk to him
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