hannn_91 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 i cheated on my boyfriend in the first month of being togther well, he went to kiss me are lips touched for half a second and i pushed him away and walked away, i told my boyfriend he decided to stay with me but not hes broke up with me twice because he cant stop thinking about it we have now been togther for 2 and a half years, he wants to sort this out he says and its breaking me up inside i cant see myself with anyone but him and he says he loves me please help with telling me things to do that can help us remain togther.
boldjack Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Han, When did you tell your BF about this kiss, and is that all you did?
Author hannn_91 Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 i told him after a couple of months !!,, and yes this is all tht happened
boldjack Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 It would have been better if you had told him sooner, but at least you did tell him. The issue here is trust. You have to make sure that he knows that nothing like this will EVER happen again, and then you must make sure he knows how sorry you are it happened even once. Then follow through, and be a good faithful woman to him, ALWAYS!! If you do this , he will regain his trust in you. Remember, NO SECRETS, and NO CONTACT WITH OTHER GUYS....,..................EVER!!!!
norajane Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 So, within the first month of dating your bf, some guy tried to kiss you and manged to make contact with your lips for half a second before you pushed him away and walked away. And you told your bf about it a couple of moths later. Now, it's 2 and a half years later, and your bf is still harping on a half-second lip touch that happened when you and he were barely a couple? Your bf should have gotten over this long ago, or if he couldn't, he should have ended it at the 3 month mark when you told him. If he still can't get past it after all this time, I don't think he will. He will always hold this up as you cheating on him. What does he think you can do at this point? What does he say he needs from you so he can feel better? What does sorting it out mean to him? Does that include him admitting he's seriously insecure and making a mountain out of a molehill? Can you tell him to man-up and get over it already? After all this time, I'd be so sick of him punishing me for something that doesn't even sound like you initiated or welcomed, I'd have dumped him
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 i cheated on my boyfriend in the first month of being togther well, he went to kiss me are lips touched for half a second and i pushed him away and walked away, i told my boyfriend he decided to stay with me but not hes broke up with me twice because he cant stop thinking about it we have now been togther for 2 and a half years, he wants to sort this out he says and its breaking me up inside i cant see myself with anyone but him and he says he loves me please help with telling me things to do that can help us remain togther. so why were you alone with another guy in the first place? and if you can't see yourself with anyone but your bf, why were you with another guy? The ball is in your bf's court, but what can you do to help you remain together? Quit being in the company of other men in certain social settings for one. Thats a start.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 i told him after a couple of months !!,, and yes this is all tht happened Nobody had asked you if anything more happened. something bothering you that you aren't really coming clean with? I mean really, if this guy tried to kiss you and you pushed him away....whats the big deal?
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Can you tell him to man-up and get over it already? After all this time, I'd be so sick of him punishing me for something that doesn't even sound like you initiated or welcomed, I'd have dumped him maybe it was more and she is not really telling us. her title did say that she "cheated", but then she describes it more as if the guy tried, and she pushed him off. Something isn't jiving here. as far as telling someone to "get over it already"....sorry, if this truly was cheating, telling someone that is pretty lousy. Thats like saying, "i cheated, and your dumb ass needs to get over it". What would you do if someone cheated on you and told you to get over it?
norajane Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Dexter, the way she described it, it doesn't sound like cheating. It sounds like her bf got way insecure because another guy made a move on her that she resisted, during their first month of dating. And after 2 and a half YEARS since the incident ocurred, if he can't get over her pushing a guy away when he kissed her, he's never going to. And I'll bet you a donut that she's calling it cheating because her bf is calling it cheating and has been punishing her for the last 2 years. and if you can't see yourself with anyone but your bf, why were you with another guy?She wasn't "with" another guy. This guy tried to kiss her ONE month into their relationship, when I'm sure she would not have said she couldn't see herself with anyone but him. But now, after 2 and a half years, yes, she loves this bf, and he's still hung up on some guy who TRIED to kiss her. Yeah, I'd tell him to get over it, and if he still continued to beat me up about it, I'd dump him. You clearly think there's something she's not telling us, but if we take her post at face value, she didn't cheat. So telling him to get over it after 2 years of belly-aching is most definitely in order.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 She wasn't "with" another guy. really? then how was he close enough to her to try to kiss her? I'm wondering if she puts herself in situations where her bf isn't around and it has become a problem, cheating or not. hann, need help here. do you party alot w/o your bf? is there some other reason that he might not trust you and this incident just didn't help matters? For one thing, how did he find out 2 months later? You tell him? Or did he find out from someone else? And just how was it that you found yourself with this guy for him to try? Was it at a party? were you alone with the guy? To vague here. You clearly think there's something she's not telling us you are right, its vague, and fishy. how was it she was in the company of this guy in the first place? but if we take her post at face value, she didn't cheat. So telling him to get over it after 2 years of belly-aching is most definitely in order. yes, if we take it at face value, you are correct. But there is something wrong even with the face value of this post.
Enema Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Nobody had asked you if anything more happened. something bothering you that you aren't really coming clean with? Han, When did you tell your BF about this kiss, and is that all you did? You'll never make detective Morgan!
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 You'll never make detective Morgan! bah, you are right about that one. didn't see that quick little insert:o still, 2 months later, not knowing what situation she was in that allowed this guy to even try, and alot of vagueness.....something still amiss.
norajane Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 really? then how was he close enough to her to try to kiss her? Crowded clubs or parties put you in close proximity with other people. And drunk boys make moves ALL the time, whether you want them to or not. For one thing, how did he find out 2 months later? You tell him? In her post, she says she told him. To vague here.I agree. And the lack of punctuation and capitalization doesn't help. I'm guessing they're young and this is their first serious relationship. But since she hasn't come back, we may never know.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Crowded clubs or parties put you in close proximity with other people. And drunk boys make moves ALL the time, whether you want them to or not. exactly my point, which is why I don't date anyone that feels the need to party or go to clubs. and women go to clubs knowing full well what its about. women will say its not true, but if there weren't any guys there, they wouldn't go, unless they are bi or lez. In her post, she says she told him. ok....why 2 months later? If a girl had tried to kiss me, and I backed off, you better believe my SO will be hearing about it right away since I did nothing wrong. I'm not saying she didn't do what she said, but maybe its because she puts herself in a position to be around other guys and that may be a problem for their relationship. if one doesn't want to get covered in s##t, don't jump in the sewer. I agree. And the lack of punctuation and capitalization doesn't help. I'm guessing they're young and this is their first serious relationship. But since she hasn't come back, we may never know. I just wonder why she said she cheated, and I don't believe its because her bf told her she did. If I didn't cheat, thats what I mean, a gf telling me I cheated if I told another woman to back off doesn't make me change my mind and think, "ok, I guess I did cheat". my guess is either more happened that she isn't saying OR she did exactly what she says, but puts herself in the company of other guys alot without her bf, ...bf knows this and the situation just added to the problem. dont know....again...too vague. too bad we can't hear the bf's rationale of his behavior.
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