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Shy and insecure guy; how do I deal with it


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Posted

So i went out with my shy guy, it was a great fun night and he kissed me at the end of it. I stayed over at his place since his was closer to where we were; but he slept on the sofa- so far so good. I let him know how much i like him and he said he did too- but he's so shy when it comes to getting in touch and expressing interest. His friends have told me that he fancies me so that's why I believe this attitude stems from his insecurities and shyness.

 

How can i get things moving? I'm used to the guy pursuing..and not too sure if i want to chase him...

 

ps. he is not generally shy when it comes to ppl in general, he's just shy around a romantic interest

Posted

Be patient. Nothing will push him further from his confidence than pressure from you, or if you hint at his shyness.

Posted

how long have you been dating him? if it hasn't been that long and you think he's a good guy then give him a few weeks. often times people who are shy around romantic interests get more comfortable when they know the person a little better and their personality with their interest becomes more aligned with their general personality.

 

It might be worth reassuring him that you really like him and encourage him to pursue you more aggressively.

Posted

People move at different speeds.

 

If you really like the guy, just go with the flow for a while and see how things move.

 

No point pushing too hard too fast, you'll just freak him out.

 

As he becomes more comfortable, things will begin to happen. He probably just needs time to feel safe with you.

 

Despite common belief, some guys actually do dread being emotionally vulnerable.

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Posted

The thing is that i prefer when things move a bit slower, but after I left him a missed call he texted saying that he was somewhere and he couldn't talk but did not suggest calling later.....so I ignored his text and then I got another one from him asking me if I was going to this common friend's thing the next day..

 

i'm just having doubts whether the guy is really interested or whether he's just shy...

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