zakarasu Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Hello all, I'm new to this website, mainly for this reason. My girlfriend and I have dated for 2 years now, we have had our mishaps and and faults like anyone else but we are very strong. She works at this place with this guy and they have become strong friends lately. They have been going off and hanging out alone, ignoring my phone calls when shes talking or when she is with him. We went to the beach and the first night we get into a small fight, and she throws it all away just like that. I begged her why, and what was the reason. Finally she tells me she has kissed this guy on three separate occasions.Then tells me she is sorry and she didn't know what she was thinking. Then trys to tell him over the phone that they should just remain friends. (so they have there little phone drama on "our" vacation which pisses me off but w/e) To just get to the point, my whole reason for this is, i was very cool about it. told her that I'm glad she was honest with me and they can remain friends as long as they back off a little. Although I hate that because it still hurts me, and its worse cause they work together too. I'll never think i'll get over it as long as there friends, but I feel like If i make her choose him over me that is being too harsh. Any advice??
carhill Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Well, normally I'd throw my bat at the pitcher and spit on the umpire, but I digress... OP, how old are you? IMO, if you can't tolerate their "friendship", considering they work together, even if she proactively shows you any questionable contact has ended, I'd break up with her. If she proactively decides to take a job elsewhere, in light of her communications to you, I'd reconsider that decision.
DL3 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Bro, don't take that....seriously that's just wrong. If you don't do anything about it, she'll just keep going further and further. I can sort of relate b/c I'm sort of a nice guy myself and once had a girl who "couldn't help it sometimes" (bit different, but she was doing other inconsiderate things that "she couldn't help" we can discuss that later if you want...) but you have to set the limits man. I understand that you have been dating for two years and it can be difficult, but if she's not respecting the relationship you two share, then the future will be difficult. Remember, it takes two hands to clap.
lora22 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Obviously she can't "just" be friends with this guy. It's not being too harsh to TELL her (not ask her!) that she has to choose between you and him. Of course, that's just if you actually want to keep dating her...to be honest I'd dump her sorry lying cheating butt.
Bryanp Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Are you out of your mind? She kisses him 3 separate times behind your back, hangs out with him and ignores your phone calls and you are cool with that? What is wrong with this picture? If the roles were reversed I doubt she would accept such crappy behavior from you. She does not respect you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?
mark982 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 she may tell you she's going to back off--wanna bet? move on guy,she's showing you her true colors,plus now that you've gave into her game,she's lost ALL respect for you,she's gonna play you like a fiddle.
Author zakarasu Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 obtw I'm 20 and she is 18. back again, tonight she changed her mind again. She told me this was for her and something she had to do, even though she stated she loved me. It was hard to take at first but after talking to a friend, i have to realize the truth. After talking to my friend i decided that I am going to try the friend route, even though its going to be hard. just feel like its going to hurt me, but I don't want to let go, any advice on this. I appreciate the replies, although ironically i can't use any advice yall gave me cause I didn't get the chance lol.
carhill Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Being friends with someone you're attracted to sucks. Ugh....
boldjack Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Zak, this girl lied to you, cheated on you, disrespected you and used you, and WILL continue to do so as long as you let her. Are you happy being a doormat? You need to man-up and dump her for good. No "friends", nothing. If she REALLY loves you, she will come back and YOU will set the conditions. No contact with the other guy, even if she has to quit her job. It's your life, you can either live it as a man or a doormat, your choice.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 obtw I'm 20 and she is 18. back again, tonight she changed her mind again. She told me this was for her and something she had to do, even though she stated she loved me. It was hard to take at first but after talking to a friend, i have to realize the truth. After talking to my friend i decided that I am going to try the friend route, even though its going to be hard. just feel like its going to hurt me, but I don't want to let go, any advice on this. I appreciate the replies, although ironically i can't use any advice yall gave me cause I didn't get the chance lol. NO! Do not try the friend route! It will make her harder for you to get over, and make sure she is never attracted to you again. Dump her outright, and don't talk to her again for at least 2 months.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 To just get to the point, my whole reason for this is, i was very cool about it. told her that I'm glad she was honest with me and they can remain friends as long as they back off a little. Although I hate that because it still hurts me, and its worse cause they work together too. I'll never think i'll get over it as long as there friends, but I feel like If i make her choose him over me that is being too harsh. Any advice?? yes, get rid of her. and if for some gawd awful reason you want to keep her, then the next time she starts hanging out with another guy, you need to crack the whip. she has proven she can't handle herself in the company of other men...so don't know why you would put up with that, and settle for a cheater.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 obtw I'm 20 and she is 18. back again, tonight she changed her mind again. She told me this was for her and something she had to do, even though she stated she loved me. It was hard to take at first but after talking to a friend, i have to realize the truth. After talking to my friend i decided that I am going to try the friend route, even though its going to be hard. just feel like its going to hurt me, but I don't want to let go, any advice on this. I appreciate the replies, although ironically i can't use any advice yall gave me cause I didn't get the chance lol. ok, I now read this. no, DO NOT try to be friends with her. Break it off completely. She will try to string you along...keep you on a backburner under the guise of "friends" in the event she can't find anyone "better". Don't be an option for her and don't be settled for in the future. find somoeone decent.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Zak, you must be wearing a nose ring, 'cause she's leading you around by it! Time to nut up and just say "NO".
Recommended Posts