LadyV Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Okay, so here I go again, having anxiety attacks whenever I think about contacting XBF. This should be a sign. I graduated college on the 23rd . It was a great accomplisment for me...many of you who have read my thread, know my story. My XH was there and congradulated me, even cried. My XH and I are on good terms after almost 2 years of being divorced. We had to because of our children, and to be honest, it's nice to know we CAN get a long.... When I got home from my ceremony, XBF left me a card. His number/emails have been blocked since I told him that he will never hear from me again. I have stuck to my word...But for some reason, today, I have this HUGE desire to thank him for the card....am I being totally stupid???? Here is what the email says.... Sorry, I have been having anxiety attacks and trying to decide if I should even write this, but I did want to say thank you for the card that you left at my place. It did take me by surprise and shocked the hell out of me, but hey…You had good intentions…. Thanks again, my day was wonderful. My family was here and even Brian made it to the ceremony and expressed how proud he is of me…Nice after all that we have been through that he can still do that. I am well, thank you. I heard that you are seeing someone, good for you…. I hope that it’s all you had hoped for and find…I wish you nothing but the best. Here is a pix of me with my boys. Please don’t respond. I just wanted to say Thank You…. I know, STUPID...someone tell me I shouldn't. I keep having anxiety attacks when I think about it....And the part where I mention he is seeing someone? Why would I want to throw that at him...It would make me look like a crazy lady!!!! I know, Stupid!!!!! BLAH!!!!!!! I've done so good!
Chinook Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 No, please don't do it. It will make you feel worse Lady V, please trust me. Even though you have told him not to reply, you're hoping he'll ignore it and you'll hope for a response that probably wont come. I know because I have done that too. But also, when you have sent it, you will feel worse because you know inside that nothing will change I think there must be something in the air, I'm in 'miss you' mode too
Author LadyV Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 No, please don't do it. It will make you feel worse Lady V, please trust me. Even though you have told him not to reply, you're hoping he'll ignore it and you'll hope for a response that probably wont come. I know because I have done that too. But also, when you have sent it, you will feel worse because you know inside that nothing will change I think there must be something in the air, I'm in 'miss you' mode too Thank You Chinook. Yes, very true...I miss him for some STUPID reason...I tell you what...He could care less about me or us, because he's already with someone else. I want to just burn the dang card he gave me. It pisses me off!!! I can't believe how much of an effect this is having on me...a stupid card!!!! You are so right....I can't open that door....there really must be something in the air....I hate this wave of emotions that comes and goes.
fairycake Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 He could care less about me or us, because he's already with someone else. That's how I feel about mine...although I suppose it's possible the fact they are seeing someone new doesn't mean we weren't important to them. Seems like you've realised the email would be a bad move, don't do it, you're doing really well on the n/c and as mentioned it will only make you feel worse.
Chinook Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Thank You Chinook. Yes, very true...I miss him for some STUPID reason...I tell you what...He could care less about me or us, because he's already with someone else. I want to just burn the dang card he gave me. It pisses me off!!! I can't believe how much of an effect this is having on me...a stupid card!!!! You are so right....I can't open that door....there really must be something in the air....I hate this wave of emotions that comes and goes.I know hon, me too. Luckily I couldn't find my address book last night where I had written his number or I know I definitely would have text him to say I missed him. I'm taking that as a sign that I wasn't supposed to message him and to continue nc. It hurts, but at the same time, I know it doesn't hurt as much as it would do if I was waiting for a response which won't come or won't change anything... and if anything, he should be coming to me. So it's plain, he doesn't want me, so he doesn't deserve my time, thought or energy. It pisses me off too.
Author LadyV Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Chinook and Fairy, Thank You both. You know, it's so sad to think that this happens as much as it does. So many people here are going through the same thing...I never thought I would be here, expecially since I was married for 13 years. But there is a reason for everything. I loved my XH. I didn't want the divorce...and although it has been almost 2 years, we have a good relationship because of our kids. Plus the fact that we do get along better now, it's much easier. But with XBF, we have NO ties, and no reason for us to talk...I would only hope that things would change and that we could get back together, in a sick and twisted way.
Chinook Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I would only hope that things would change and that we could get back together, in a sick and twisted way.That's what I think too... but I know that it wouldn't work and he's just going to treat me like crap again, so there's no point going back. I'm too hurt at the moment to contemplate friends... maybe that will change. But like you, I think everything happens for a reason. I'm not sure what that is right now, but hopefully down the path some place, it will make sense... or I'll reach a point, where I really don't care.
Author LadyV Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 Yes, I have to agree. It would be the same exact cycle..bliss in the beginning, then HELL in only a matter of weeks!!!! We deserve someone who is going to love every part of us!!!! Thanks for your support everyone!!!
twicebitten Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Now that I read this post of yours I see we have even mORE in common!! I was married for 15 years & ALWAYS loved my husband, as well! I never fell 'out-of-love' with him actually entire marriage, but it was he who had a mid-life-crazy-crisis & left for a younger woman! Still, before that mess, we were HAPPY for 13 plus yars & I believe this is WHY I still believe in LOVE ... commitment, etc., Maybe once you have the real-thing you still want/believe it ... AGAIN!!? And in our cases the 'next-love' wasn't real but we couldn't see because we thought it was 'authentic' again!?? I don't know ... But I love the saying: "The best indicator of future actions are past actions!" & in our EBF's cases their PAST is NOT good!!? XO - TB -
Author LadyV Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 Now that I read this post of yours I see we have even mORE in common!! I was married for 15 years & ALWAYS loved my husband, as well! I never fell 'out-of-love' with him actually entire marriage, but it was he who had a mid-life-crazy-crisis & left for a younger woman! Still, before that mess, we were HAPPY for 13 plus yars & I believe this is WHY I still believe in LOVE ... commitment, etc., Maybe once you have the real-thing you still want/believe it ... AGAIN!!? And in our cases the 'next-love' wasn't real but we couldn't see because we thought it was 'authentic' again!?? I don't know ... But I love the saying: "The best indicator of future actions are past actions!" & in our EBF's cases their PAST is NOT good!!? XO - TB - WOW!!! My XH is close to my age...He is 35, but yes, had a midlife...I like to believe, all of a sudden just felt like he was going to be miserable for the rest of his life. When he left, no one else was involved, just him and his depression and him wanting to find himself. Yeah..find himself...8 months after he left the brand new home we just built, and 2 months after our divorce was finalized, he came out with his 26 year old girlfriend. Funny how that happens??? I have no problems with it now though, I actually talk to her from time to time. I hear that she thinks I'm "awesome" lol. She is good to my kids and that is what is important. I didn't think my marriage was that bad, but according to him, it was horrible. I was a military wife, my XH serves in the Air Force so we had to endure 5 years of back to back deployments...the longest he was home was actually 8 months, then he would leave again. When he came back after the last deployment, he was home for almost 1 1/2 years, and that is when things fell apart. I am a devoted person too. I was committed 100% to my marriage and my family. I guess with my XBF, I was willing to do the same thing...My brother calls it a bonus, but also a downfall...I understand where he is coming from with this too because despite my marriage going down the tubes, I didn't leave. I should have, but didn't. Now with XBF, the way things where, I was willing to put myself back on the line for this "relationship". Something I am trying to fix about myself...I need to know when to get out of sticky situations...especially the most recent. Wow, we really do have a lot in common...You are right though, we will get through this....if anything, they are lessons learned and things we have to go through in order to become stronger and end up with so much more...make sense?
VeronicaVry Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 I say contact him if that's what you want. If he wasn't an ******* to you and you still think about him then contact him if that's what you want, it has after all been 26 days so you will be more clear headed. I emailed my ex of 1 month yesterday night just to tell him that I miss him, its been over 12 hours (but who's counting) and he has not replied, and you know what, I didnt really want a reply, I wrote him for me, I wanted to express that I still think of him and miss him, and its ok. But then we didnt really end it on a sour note.....so yeah,,,Best of luck VV
twicebitten Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 ... Wow! I think we're heartbreak-soulmates!!? How sad!! LOL!! My Ex-H was in the Air Force, but got out when we married then he was in the restuarant-night club biz, running them ... soo, GONE ALOT!! It was tough on our marriage/family, BUT I too ... gave it my all & was totally devoted to him!! Then my ex (@ 44 ... he's 47 now) ran off with a 24 YO, to another state, to boot ... told me it for a 'job', but I quickly found out the sitch ... it DEVASTATED me, but I believed it made me STRONGER ... until I met my EXBF a year ago ... then, DUH ... all my common-sense seemed to blow-out-the-window!!!!!!! LOL! My EX-H daid (after the fact) that he was unhappy, too ... but that was a surprise to me after adopting a baby (involved & painstaking) AND then renewing our vows @ 11 years ... SEEMED he was HAPPY, too!?? Maybe men need to SPEAK up MORE!!?? WTH!? Un fortunately, my diff is the GF is a BI*#H!! She's NOT very good to m daghter during summer-time visitation & she's verbally abusive toward me & soo threatened (which I DON'T get)!! I've tried talking to EX-H about all this, but he's in a fog & insists she's a GREAT woman!! NO, she's not .. she's an immature, evil "girl"!! It breaks my heart 4 my daughter's sake, but I TRY relentlessly to help her deal with all this ... Thank God she only has to deal with the GF about once a year!!!! Oh, a belated CONGRATS on graduating!!!!! What are you going into (career-wise)!?? THIS alone will help enormously with your healing & taking care of YOU!! The very month my D went through I got a book-contract ... & I tell you, it REALLY saved my SANITY!!! Have a GR8 W'end!! XO - TB -
Author LadyV Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 I say contact him if that's what you want. If he wasn't an ******* to you and you still think about him then contact him if that's what you want, it has after all been 26 days so you will be more clear headed. I emailed my ex of 1 month yesterday night just to tell him that I miss him, its been over 12 hours (but who's counting) and he has not replied, and you know what, I didnt really want a reply, I wrote him for me, I wanted to express that I still think of him and miss him, and its ok. But then we didnt really end it on a sour note.....so yeah,,,Best of luck VV Thank you for your reply Veronica....It isn't that I want to contact him...I do, then I don't. The problem is that XBF and I seemed to have established a pattern. We would go NC, then 2 to 3 weeks later, I would end up getting an email, or text message. It was always him doing the contacting. He broke up with me 2 months ago, then contacted me again, 3 weeks later. This time, no intention of getting back together, just wanted to be "friends" with one another. It became VERY difficult for me because I was, hanging on, hoping that he and I would eventually get back together like we had all the other times in the past. But he had other ideas in mind...one including another woman. I had had enough at this point and went FULL NC 28 days ago....But last week, he left a card, as I mentioned on my door. I haven't responded.... There are times when I want to, I think to myself that I am strong enough to handle whatever it is that he is doing...seeing someone else, or will talk about about how he misses having me in his life...blah blah blah! But honestly? I don't want to go back down that road again. I have my moments of weakness when I really miss him. But in the end, it will just end up hurting me more. I will have my guard up so far, then he manages to climb up over that wall, and the next things I know, I am hurting again...wanting more that he can not give to me... I miss my XBF, to a certain extent. I don't miss how he made me feel when he would get moody. I have shifted my thinking from "Oh, I want him and need him..." to "I don't need him....I don't need him to define me or who I am." I have never been the one to contact him and tell him I miss him...He was always the one to contact me. I don't know if he has tried to call or text...numbers are blocked. I am keeping it that way until I am healed from all of this and can honestly say that it is all in the past. Thanks again for your reply, but in my case, NC is a must...I won't bend nor open the door that all that again...I've done so good and am finally enjoying life again...without him in it....
Lucky_One Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Good for you for recognizing the pattern of NC for a few weeks, then he breaks it, and then you respond, and then NC again while he continues to date other people. There is nothing healthy in that pattern for you - nothing. NC is good for you because it keeps your focus on your own emotional healing and your own happiness. And it forces them to live without you and the comfort that you gave them, as well. If he wants you "for real", he knows where to find you. If he wants to keep playing NC/C/NC/C games, then step out of the starting line-up. WTG!!
Author LadyV Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 ... Wow! I think we're heartbreak-soulmates!!? How sad!! LOL!! My Ex-H was in the Air Force, but got out when we married then he was in the restuarant-night club biz, running them ... soo, GONE ALOT!! It was tough on our marriage/family, BUT I too ... gave it my all & was totally devoted to him!! Then my ex (@ 44 ... he's 47 now) ran off with a 24 YO, to another state, to boot ... told me it for a 'job', but I quickly found out the sitch ... it DEVASTATED me, but I believed it made me STRONGER ... until I met my EXBF a year ago ... then, DUH ... all my common-sense seemed to blow-out-the-window!!!!!!! LOL! My EX-H daid (after the fact) that he was unhappy, too ... but that was a surprise to me after adopting a baby (involved & painstaking) AND then renewing our vows @ 11 years ... SEEMED he was HAPPY, too!?? Maybe men need to SPEAK up MORE!!?? WTH!? Un fortunately, my diff is the GF is a BI*#H!! She's NOT very good to m daghter during summer-time visitation & she's verbally abusive toward me & soo threatened (which I DON'T get)!! I've tried talking to EX-H about all this, but he's in a fog & insists she's a GREAT woman!! NO, she's not .. she's an immature, evil "girl"!! It breaks my heart 4 my daughter's sake, but I TRY relentlessly to help her deal with all this ... Thank God she only has to deal with the GF about once a year!!!! Oh, a belated CONGRATS on graduating!!!!! What are you going into (career-wise)!?? THIS alone will help enormously with your healing & taking care of YOU!! The very month my D went through I got a book-contract ... & I tell you, it REALLY saved my SANITY!!! Have a GR8 W'end!! XO - TB - TB, WOW......SCARY...LOL. There is a reason why we are in contact through LS...Maybe we are heartbreak soulmates. In all honesty, it makes me feel better to know that I have this site as a resource, as well as a venting place....I know that I am doing right by keeping up with the NC. It's hard, there are times when I want to just contact me so he won't forget me, but then again, oh well....I will NEVER get back together with him again so whats the point, right? Also, letting go of someone that is so bad for me hasn't always been easy. I think back to past relationships before marriage, and I wonder how I got through it...You know what? I would jump right back into another relationship...that's how. Amazing how things come to light after some serious praying, thinking and therapy...lol When XH and I divorced, I didn't date for a year. Actually, there was this person who I was totally smitten by...he too was in the AF. We would spend hours on the phone, he deployed and would write, send cards, and I would send him care packages. Before he left, we had gone out to dinner once, as well as a movie. He was a great friend, but I could see how I was using that to replace the emptiness I was feeling when my XH left. He got back from a 6 mo. deployement, we made plans to go out, but when I discovered he went out with someone else, I cancelled. This really pissed him off, he said he thought we were friends, and I just told him I was busy. Basically, I jumped the gun and made myself look totally stupid because I was hoping for more with him. This was last August when this all went down. We don't really talk anymore, have a lot of mutual friends that we hang out with at the same time...but it's hard to be in the same room with him because I feel stupid..anyway, he added me back to FB and Myspace, and we have had a few comments back and forth, but nothing like it was.... Then XBF came into the picture 3 months later. I'm trying to figure out why it is that I want someone in my life....I have 2 beautiful boys whom need me so much, yet I seemed to put the focus on just me...and what I needed. My son has expressed how he gets upset and tired of his Dad's girlfriend always being there. I think about this and I don't want my boys to see me date anyone again for a VERY long time...That to me proves that my kids need me more than anything, and I am going to put all my time and effort into building my relationship with them... I am now at 28 days NC. It has been exactly 4 weeks since I cut off contact with XBF! I do have to say, I am finally enjoying being with my friends again and going out. 3 weeks ago, I had to FORCE myself to do anything...Now, I make the best of the situation and have fun, no one likes the downer of the party...lol. Yesterday was spent at my best friends house for a BBQ and we had such a great time!!! I wasn't worried about my phone and who was texting me...as a matter of fact, I left it in my purse. Normally I have it right by my side and am so engrossed in text/FB, or Myspace. I told myself I was not going to obsess over my phone and was going to have a great time! It worked!!! TB, and I ask you how long you were with your XBF? I am not sure if you posted it here or not...I can't remember.... Sorry for the long post again....I am just so happy that I didn't give into temptation and contact him to say thank you for the card. I actually put the card away, It only hurts to look at it and I don't want to feel that way anymore!!! Sorry too that you have to go through what you go through with GF. In the end, being the bigger person is what is important, although at times I'm sure you want to slap the crap out of her for the way she is treating your daughter. Have you talked to XH about this? I know what you mean about the whole "unhappy" thing. In my case, my XH was very unhappy too and wanted to find himself....He sure did, with a 26 year old girl...who just came out of an engagement...It is a rebound for both? Maybe...but in the end, I want to take care of me, strengthen me so that when the day comes when I do meet someone again, I will know what to look for and have a very clear head of what I want!!! I hope everyone here is having a good weekend!!!
Author LadyV Posted May 31, 2009 Author Posted May 31, 2009 Good for you for recognizing the pattern of NC for a few weeks, then he breaks it, and then you respond, and then NC again while he continues to date other people. There is nothing healthy in that pattern for you - nothing. NC is good for you because it keeps your focus on your own emotional healing and your own happiness. And it forces them to live without you and the comfort that you gave them, as well. If he wants you "for real", he knows where to find you. If he wants to keep playing NC/C/NC/C games, then step out of the starting line-up. WTG!! Yes, thank you so much!!!! It's hard, we shared a lot, but there was a lot of drama too. I didn't like the fact that after a few weeks of being back in contact, I was again, walking around on eggshells, waiting for the ball to drop...I had to take initiative and do what was right for me...NC!!!!! 28 days today....I am proud of myself....I thought about unblocking his stuff, I go back and forth with it, but am keeping it blocked... Thanks again, for your encouragement!!!!
twicebitten Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 You're doing GREAT w/NC ... I'm proud of you!!! ... to answer your question .. was w/EXBF for only 11 months (three which were horrible cause of the hot-cold-NC-contact-thing)!! We were engaged FAR too quickly (but I was in'love) @ only 3 months!! I waited a year to date also, after my D, then had plenty of bad-dates, no-chemistry, etc., figured I was just too picky .. not ready ... or there was NO ONE I would ever have a 'connection' with, but then met him & POW ... initially I wasn't even sure he I was interested (he's a TOTAL diff type for me) BUT he persued, persued & WON me over BIG time!! I always hoped too, that the 'old' SWEET, caring BF would 'come back', but he obviously had another AGENDA ... other woman(women)!!?? And just like your sitch ... we would sort of break-up (or he would just go MIA for days) then he ALWAYS contacted me 1st ... then back to the roller-coaster-ride!! NO THANKS ever again!! They're MESSED-UP!! Hope you & everyone is having a GREAT W'end!!! XO - TB -
fabulous_chk Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Congrats on not breaking your NC. Very proud of you LadyV!!! After 18 days of NC and three desperate phone calls from my ex, I buckled. I answered his call. It turns out he's been miserable without me too. In the middle of our "reconciliation," his mom told us his father died. I was with him for 2 days before he left for Greece for the burial. He clung to me. He could not allow anyone else, even his family to be with him while grieving. He preferred to be with me. It might be a step back on my part, and hinder my healing process, but God works in mysterious ways and He'll lead me to my path. I sincerely believe that He's giving me my best friend back, if not my lover. You are a very strong woman LadyV. I wish I can be as strong as you.
Author LadyV Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 You're doing GREAT w/NC ... I'm proud of you!!! ... to answer your question .. was w/EXBF for only 11 months (three which were horrible cause of the hot-cold-NC-contact-thing)!! We were engaged FAR too quickly (but I was in'love) @ only 3 months!! I waited a year to date also, after my D, then had plenty of bad-dates, no-chemistry, etc., figured I was just too picky .. not ready ... or there was NO ONE I would ever have a 'connection' with, but then met him & POW ... initially I wasn't even sure he I was interested (he's a TOTAL diff type for me) BUT he persued, persued & WON me over BIG time!! I always hoped too, that the 'old' SWEET, caring BF would 'come back', but he obviously had another AGENDA ... other woman(women)!!?? And just like your sitch ... we would sort of break-up (or he would just go MIA for days) then he ALWAYS contacted me 1st ... then back to the roller-coaster-ride!! NO THANKS ever again!! They're MESSED-UP!! Hope you & everyone is having a GREAT W'end!!! XO - TB - Yes, I totally hear you...My XBF was NOT my type at all....It's crazy how they can wisk us off our feet...things felt to right and the connection was intense...He made me feel like we could conquer the world...but in the end, the only thing that was conqured was me...and I ended up with a broken heart... Yes, No roller coaster ride for this gal ever again. This was a great weekend for me, actually, the last 2 weekends have been awesome. I am feeling like myself again....It's nice to get back to being me...no looking back, just lookin' forward!!!
Author LadyV Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 Congrats on not breaking your NC. Very proud of you LadyV!!! After 18 days of NC and three desperate phone calls from my ex, I buckled. I answered his call. It turns out he's been miserable without me too. In the middle of our "reconciliation," his mom told us his father died. I was with him for 2 days before he left for Greece for the burial. He clung to me. He could not allow anyone else, even his family to be with him while grieving. He preferred to be with me. It might be a step back on my part, and hinder my healing process, but God works in mysterious ways and He'll lead me to my path. I sincerely believe that He's giving me my best friend back, if not my lover. You are a very strong woman LadyV. I wish I can be as strong as you. Fab, don't be so hard on yourself. Only you can decided if it is a bad thing for you or not. I think that if my XBF were to call me during a time like this, I am sure I would want to be there for him...or for anyone else who is going through a loss.... The very last time I saw my XBF was the day before I left to go home on an emergancy...there was a death in my family and I was going home for a 10 days. I clung to him too, I called him, and needed someone to listen...I realized right away, that I just couldn't do it. He said he wanted to be there for me, but made it clear that he probably shouldn't and even worried about what it would do to me and my heart. He was right, I should have listened because I wanted him to comfort me...but in the end, the comforting would only go so far. His father was complaining of chest pains 2 weeks before. I was the first person he called and I wanted to be there. He even told me that he didn't want to talk to anyone but me. Of course this made me feel good, but at the same time, I thought. "How fair is it of me to be there for him??? He's the one who pushed me away???" I think that you really have to be careful...I know he is grieving, but at the same time, be prepared incase he comes back and is totally differnt. I don't know if you guys have had the chance to talk about the two of you, I am assuming not because of all that has happend....Just be wise...and you too can be strong if you decide that being there for him is really hard. Thank you for your post...as each day passes, I feel so much better. It's true what they say about time healing because FINALLY I am starting to feel better. Tomorrow will be 29 days NC!!! I plan on keeping it that way because I'm really beginning to like this person that I am becoming...as well as the fact that I now know that in fact, I do not need him... Good luck Fab...Keep your head up!!
fabulous_chk Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Fab, don't be so hard on yourself. Only you can decided if it is a bad thing for you or not. I think that if my XBF were to call me during a time like this, I am sure I would want to be there for him...or for anyone else who is going through a loss.... The very last time I saw my XBF was the day before I left to go home on an emergancy...there was a death in my family and I was going home for a 10 days. I clung to him too, I called him, and needed someone to listen...I realized right away, that I just couldn't do it. He said he wanted to be there for me, but made it clear that he probably shouldn't and even worried about what it would do to me and my heart. He was right, I should have listened because I wanted him to comfort me...but in the end, the comforting would only go so far. His father was complaining of chest pains 2 weeks before. I was the first person he called and I wanted to be there. He even told me that he didn't want to talk to anyone but me. Of course this made me feel good, but at the same time, I thought. "How fair is it of me to be there for him??? He's the one who pushed me away???" I think that you really have to be careful...I know he is grieving, but at the same time, be prepared incase he comes back and is totally differnt. I don't know if you guys have had the chance to talk about the two of you, I am assuming not because of all that has happend....Just be wise...and you too can be strong if you decide that being there for him is really hard. Thank you for your post...as each day passes, I feel so much better. It's true what they say about time healing because FINALLY I am starting to feel better. Tomorrow will be 29 days NC!!! I plan on keeping it that way because I'm really beginning to like this person that I am becoming...as well as the fact that I now know that in fact, I do not need him... Good luck Fab...Keep your head up!! Thanks for your input! It really gave me perspective to what could have happen. We spoke for like, an hour and a half on the phone with him admitting his mistakes, then afterwards face to face we opened up while I was drunk lol! Red wine is my truth serum! I was crying and so was he. Before he left he made me promise to see him when he gets back from Greece. He wanted to stay in touch online while he's gone. I'm dashing my hopes down, preparing for nothing when he comes back. But I could never regret being with him at this time. It's the least I could do to someone who lost a parent. If I have to hurt to do this I will. I'm stronger now than I was 2 months ago. Thanks LadyV. I appreciate what you just shared - it has really helped me think more on my situation.
Author LadyV Posted June 1, 2009 Author Posted June 1, 2009 Thanks for your input! It really gave me perspective to what could have happen. We spoke for like, an hour and a half on the phone with him admitting his mistakes, then afterwards face to face we opened up while I was drunk lol! Red wine is my truth serum! I was crying and so was he. Before he left he made me promise to see him when he gets back from Greece. He wanted to stay in touch online while he's gone. I'm dashing my hopes down, preparing for nothing when he comes back. But I could never regret being with him at this time. It's the least I could do to someone who lost a parent. If I have to hurt to do this I will. I'm stronger now than I was 2 months ago. Thanks LadyV. I appreciate what you just shared - it has really helped me think more on my situation. Your very welcome Fabulous_Chk!!! I think you are playing it safe by keeping your hopes in check...I had to do the same thing. My XBF offered to pick me up from the airport when I returned. I'm glad I told him I was done because it would have just left the door oepn to the unknown. I don't like feeling like I have to wait, or be on hold, you know what I mean? I deserve so much more and will get it one day...for now, my heart is healing...I'm taking everything one day at time...before it was moment to moment. But I am finally seeing the lighter side of things. I know he must really be hurting...Like you mentioned in your other post, God works in Mysterious ways...You never know what he has planned....A death can be a true wake up call...For me, it was a wake up call and I realized that life was way too short to be stuck in limbo...It was time for me to pick up and move on. Best of Luck to you FC!!!
Chinook Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I broke nc last night. I thought enough time would have passed to be able to handle it and just ask was he okay. Needless to say, even though he was "devastated" at how much he had "hurt" me when he dumped me... he didn't reply. It was probably the right thing to do... but it felt like he was being mean. I wish I hadn't done it. I feel weak and stupid.
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