hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I feel that the world is full of cheaters. Where I work almost all men and women complain about how unhappy they are with their families. Why has it become a standard practice to "disclose" such private information at work? Also, I don't really think people are unhappy with their significant others. Most likely they're unhappy with themselves and they just do everything they need to get their attention... Maybe I am just rambling, but I just discovered that I had an ex and a friend full of BS. I am mad with him. I am mad with myself for letting him lie to me so much. But the worst thing is that I don't see much of the light in the end of the tunnel. All people around me seem like liars and cheaters to me right now. grrrrrrrrrrrr
Lost_love Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Yeah I know the feeling. people lie everyday, some for valid reasons but I find that most like myself lie just because. it doesn't make it right or okay but sometimes for me its the only way I make through each day.
Author hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 but why do you think you have the need to lie? I don't get it. I always thought that if you really care about a person you would always tell them the truth so that they can make the right decisions for their lives.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 To be honest, there ARE a lot of liars and cheaters. I know of friends, neighbours, family etc, that have the most crazy, ridiculous life stories in that way. I think its actually very common, more common than the happy ending we all want. I think its just important to be aware and to keep your eyes wide open, be suspicious and skeptical. Worthwhile people will prove themselves to you. But I know what you mean about disclosing private information. When I was temping a married man told me going up the escalators from the train (we made the same way to work), that his wife had just had a baby and the way she behaved now he hated her and hated going home. I was a bit shocked that he told me that and didn't really know what to say.
Author hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 I find this so sad... I read somewhere that close to 75% people have cheated or will cheat (even without admitting) during lifetime... This is so sad... so what are we gonna do? Just live with it or be single out of fear of being cheated on? I don't know...
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I find this so sad... I read somewhere that close to 75% people have cheated or will cheat (even without admitting) during lifetime... This is so sad... so what are we gonna do? Just live with it or be single out of fear of being cheated on? I don't know... I think we need to learn to be 100% self-reliant and then whatever comes our way - or doesn't, doesn't wind up making or breaking us. Really relationships are very mercurial things. How many friends have you grown apart from? Partners do you lose? Relationships are often solely based on EMOTIONS or THOUGHTS about a person which are subject to change and are fleeting. To remain with a person is a DECISION and takes a lot of investment or work. Naturally people enjoy relationships when they feel spontaneous, natural, easy. A lot check out when it becomes 'work', but unfortunately it DOES become work. Just keep living, and see who you meet. And no don't live in fear of being cheated on, because if it happens you will survive it!
Trojan John Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I think we need to learn to be 100% self-reliant and then whatever comes our way - or doesn't, doesn't wind up making or breaking us. Really relationships are very mercurial things. How many friends have you grown apart from? Partners do you lose? Relationships are often solely based on EMOTIONS or THOUGHTS about a person which are subject to change and are fleeting. To remain with a person is a DECISION and takes a lot of investment or work. Naturally people enjoy relationships when they feel spontaneous, natural, easy. A lot check out when it becomes 'work', but unfortunately it DOES become work. Just keep living, and see who you meet. And no don't live in fear of being cheated on, because if it happens you will survive it! I agree with this completely, and would like add that people should also stop investing and basing their entire happiness and feeling of self-worth on another person. This has to come from within.
Author hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 I am not unhappy... I am happy with who I am and with my life... In fact, I am never going to take the cheater back... But this does not change the fact that I am mad today and I am going to be for the next several days. My life continues... And I will be stronger and better off without him whatsoever... But I hope for him never to see him again
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I am not unhappy... I am happy with who I am and with my life... In fact, I am never going to take the cheater back... But this does not change the fact that I am mad today and I am going to be for the next several days. My life continues... And I will be stronger and better off without him whatsoever... But I hope for him never to see him again Try to see it from a different perspective. That he has done you a favour by showing himself up as the type of person that you DON'T want in your life. Obviously there will be a lot of hurt and pain in the betrayal but you can work through this. Just be greatful that you no longer have someone like that in your life.
Author hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Well Nikki... this is exactly my point. I am happy. I always had a suspect that something was wrong... Now at least I know that my doubts were right... So this brings me to a conclusion that the man I loved did not really exist. I was with a manipulating, lying piece of... I am definitely better off. I am glad that I found things out. Definitely glad... I wish I had found out in a different way though
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Well Nikki... this is exactly my point. I am happy. I always had a suspect that something was wrong... Now at least I know that my doubts were right... So this brings me to a conclusion that the man I loved did not really exist. I was with a manipulating, lying piece of... I am definitely better off. I am glad that I found things out. Definitely glad... I wish I had found out in a different way though Whats great about that is that, although you are worried understandably about trusting in the future, you have learnt something precious - that you can trust YOURSELF - your instinct and feelings about things. So in the future, you will be able to feel when things are not right - whether its cheating or something else, because you will feel it instinctively. I believe we can all feel it, we just don't always trust or have faith in the fact that are thoughts/emotions are correct - we put them off as paranoia, jealousy, insecurity. Sometimes that is the case, but often our feelings are justifiable. If you have persistent negative feelings with a partner without a prior cause, then its a sign that something about that person or relationship is not right. Now you know you can trust your instincts, you will be able to tell when you can and cannot trust in the future.
Author hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 I agree with you on that... I know that next time I will walk away even when 1/10 th of what happened to me happens with another person.
EmperorR Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I have to say I never ever in my lifetime thought I would be cheated on, but I was it can happen to anyone no matter how good you treat the person so much scum in the world
Author hopefulInFuture Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Yeah EmperorR... people cheating on you rarely has something to do with you... It's only about them. Instead of talking, being honest or breaking up when it's not working out they're too selfish and they cheat. The cheaters care only about themselves in the end... Otherwise they won't be cheating on others.
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