aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 If any of you remember me from a post I made a bit ago, you'd know that I'm into music a lot and play in a band. To sum it up, I was a bit discouraged because at shows we'd get very good reactions from people in general, including girls, but the girls paid no attention to me while smothering my bandmates with attention. They'd always get laid after shows and I'd be alone. Well, 2 weeks ago we broke up after over 2 years for a number of reasons. I'm on my own now, and I actually feel like I've been freed. I've written a lot of solo songs over the past two years that some of the other guys thought were stupid, but now I can finally perform them on my own, and I did! At a show last night. I was pretty happy and got a good reaction. Anyway, I know I'm droning on, but essentially, I figure this is finally an opportunity for me to meet some girls from my playing and not be outshined by my handsome ex-bandmates. Like my shows with my band, I got a lot of compliments from people in the crowd...but all from guys! Not one girl! There were plenty of girls there too. I even did a song I wrote about a girl and a mushy love song cover. I really don't get it. Like, I don't do this for the girls...hell no, but it would be a nice bonus, you know? And it annoys me to constantly hear people acting like guitar is an automatic chick magnet. Hell, a friend just sent me this earlier today and it only pissed me off! Meh, I just don't get it. This is mostly to rant, and also to dispel this annoying myth. I actually just saw someone mention this in another post, which made me post this.
amaysngrace Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Like my shows with my band, I got a lot of compliments from people in the crowd...but all from guys! Not one girl! There were plenty of girls there too. Maybe you throw off gaydar.
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Maybe you throw off gaydar. Ha ha, very funny. -_- A gay guy did once blatantly hit on me after a show. And my best friend is openly gay...so maybe you're not that far off... Seriously though, even if I was acting incredibly gay while playing, I should still get women. Hell, the gayer I act the more I should get theoretically. Just look at George Michael.
amaysngrace Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Just look at George Michael. Why? Do you play music to pick up women or do you do it because you love it?
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Why? Do you play music to pick up women or do you do it because you love it? If I did it to pick up women I would have quit it a long time ago. I always say that if I had to choose between losing my balls or never playing music again, then I'd be singing castrato. But that's probably not going to be the case. I don't know, it's just that like...I figure I'm not going to get anywhere in the looks department, but I can play a mean guitar, so why not use that to get a girl? It's what I got going for me. And the George Michael thing was a joke, obviously. I can't stand him, though my sister apparently used to have a cardboard cutout of him that she'd stare at every night before bed.
tanbark813 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Do you play music to pick up women or do you do it because you love it? My thoughts exactly. The irony is that if you're doing it solely to pick up women it will be less effective for that. If you're playing for the sheer joy of playing it will come through in your performance and that is what is attractive. I even did a song I wrote about a girl and a mushy love song cover. Playing to the audience is important but it still has to be stuff you really love and really want to play. If you're only playing it because you think people will like it then you may be coming across as ingenuine.
Els Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 He did mention early on (twice!) that he definitely wasn't playing with the sole intention of getting women but he'd like it as a bonus. OP, lots of other factors such as looks, the way you carry yourself, etc, contribute to that 'initial attraction' thing -- which to me is rather shallow. Even if you get lots of fangirls, that doesn't necessarily mean that they really want to date you. In fact, if they DO, they're probably attracted to your stage image and not you, and most likely would not stay around if you ever had to stop performing or your stage popularity dropped. I'd say just look elsewhere, where you can be plain ol' you, for the ladies. And enjoy the popularity your performing brings you regardless of gender.
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Read my last post dude. I've been playing for years. The thing with girls never bothered me until recently, due to some other conditions. And I never play for the audience. In fact, what I was playing with my band was more for the audience and them than what I played the other night. That's one reason why we broke up...I wanted to do more meaningful and emotional stuff while they wanted to stick to crazy rocking ****. I love that stuff, but it was getting old to me. And I wrote so much stuff that they dismissed. Like I said, the solo show I played the other night felt great, because I was finally playing what I like to play. And so what if I played a love song or two. I wasn't playing it for anyone in particular, but I was playing it because it expressed some of what I was feeling...lonlieness and longing for people.
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Glad you understand Elswyth. And most of the time fangirls aren't the best kind to be girlfriends, but honestly, I just want to get laid once or twice to satisfy my young boy limbido. After that, then I'll probably settle down and just go with the flow and maybe find a good girl sometime. That's not too much to ask, is it?
Els Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Unless you're extremely famous, I'm guessing bars and stuff are better places for such endeavours rather than your fanbase. In fact, even the famous ones try not to screw around in their fanbase too much -- reputation and all that, things have an unpleasant way of getting out. That old 'don't mix your work and sex' kind of thing.
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Unless you're extremely famous, I'm guessing bars and stuff are better places for such endeavours rather than your fanbase. In fact, even the famous ones try not to screw around in their fanbase too much -- reputation and all that, things have an unpleasant way of getting out. That old 'don't mix your work and sex' kind of thing. I'm still 9 months away from bars, but even if I could go in, I'm not so good looking anyway. I know it's more than just looks, but I'm not the best socializer either unless it's with people I'm comfortable with. I also don't really have the time to go out all the time and polish game. I'm studying engineering and am going for a pretty nice streak with grades and don't want to throw that away my senior year. That's why I said my one niche is my musical talent. I might as well use that to my advantage if it's as easy as people make it out to be.
Land Shark Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Of course, you won't get any women if you don't smash your guitar when you're done playing. I thought that was common knowledge.
tanbark813 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Read my last post dude. Your last post was two minutes before mine, dude. I didn't see it up there before I hit reply and started to write my own. I was simply offering my opinion. I think it's worth noting that I met my current gf at a gig I played. Good luck.
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Of course, you won't get any women if you don't smash your guitar when you're done playing. I thought that was common knowledge. You think I haven't done that?
Woggle Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 You have to actually be famous before you get chicks. An unkown guy in a bar is not a chick magnet. Besides music ancd creativity should not be about getting women. Females these days tend to like metrosexual pop singers who make sissy music anyway and I would rather be dead than be one of those guys.
runner Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Nobody got more p*ssy than John Oates john oates has to be one of the most un-rock n roll names ever. i suppose it worked in the eighties.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 john oates has to be one of the most un-rock n roll names ever. i suppose it worked in the eighties. the OP should consider growing a mustache and covering your kiss is all i miss
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Do you cover any Hall and Oates material? Ew, hell no. =p I actually go for a sound a lot like Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits with my solo songs...lots of guitar fills, very tone-conscious, and that weathered and low kind of vocals. He's like one of my idols in music. He was like a beacon of talent surrounded by a flood of synth.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Are you kidding me aotc? The only girls that would actually put themselves in a position to bang a musician are the ones who are groupies, 16 year old kids who thinks guys with tattoos and are in bands are cool, and drunken girls who will sleep and not remember who you are in the morning. I'm 19, and I outgrew that whole dating musician scene. Once you been through knowing the guy will only smoke pot and be cocky about how cool they are, there's really not much missing. And I go to shows to enjoy the music not to see if I can get your number when you're done with your gig. So no offence if you think you can get girls with your guitar, but honestly play for the sake of playing music, not to see if you can gauge a reaction from the opposite sex.
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Are you kidding me aotc? The only girls that would actually put themselves in a position to bang a musician are the ones who are groupies, 16 year old kids who thinks guys with tattoos and are in bands are cool, and drunken girls who will sleep and not remember who you are in the morning. Hey, if I could get that I it would be more than I have now at least. I just sometimes feel like a loser for not having success with girls. I've been through 3 years of college and haven't been laid once, while other guys are scoring girls left and right. Other guys constantly rip on me for being ugly and inexperienced...as do some girls. I can only withstand so much, ya know? The only real hopes I have in life are my future profession and my music, so whenever people are asses I go off by myself and play guitar into the night and forget about them. It works for a while, but it's only delaying the problem. I'm still very lonely. I've been lonely all through my teen years, and I want that to change.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Hey, if I could get that I it would be more than I have now at least. I just sometimes feel like a loser for not having success with girls. I've been through 3 years of college and haven't been laid once, while other guys are scoring girls left and right. Other guys constantly rip on me for being ugly and inexperienced...as do some girls. I can only withstand so much, ya know? The only real hopes I have in life are my future profession and my music, so whenever people are asses I go off by myself and play guitar into the night and forget about them. It works for a while, but it's only delaying the problem. I'm still very lonely. I've been lonely all through my teen years, and I want that to change. aotc, you're settling for these girls because of your low self esteem. What's the point of sleeping with these girls besides relieving yourself? They won't be able to give you any comfort. You might as well just hire a hooker. Can I ask you why you think you're ugly?
Author aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 aotc, you're settling for these girls because of your low self esteem. What's the point of sleeping with these girls besides relieving yourself? They won't be able to give you any comfort. You might as well just hire a hooker. Can I ask you why you think you're ugly? I've considered a hooker, but I don't have that kind of money at the moment. There's always craigslist though. I've known that I'm ugly for a while now. I notice I'm ugly, other people notice I'm ugly, and even my parents and relatives notice I'm ugly. Why am I ugly? I don't know what you want as an answer? My nose is huge, eyes are creepy/plain, I've had some acne problems in the past...just a few physical traits. There are some people in this world that are beautiful and others that aren't. I'm the latter and I accept that. I'd rather have bad genes in attractiveness than in intelligence, though, which is how I like to look at it. I just want to find a way to work around that with girls, which isn't easy at a young age.
westernxer Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Maybe you just need to get away from the college environment. The pack mentality of college is something I dreaded while I was a student.
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