muhlissah Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Are there specific stages? I'm nearly 3 weeks in to my separation and I have no idea where I am. I still feel sad and angry. Part of me feels like I'm starting to accept this is it and its over, at least for right now. I can't move for a month and I think the move is going to set me back. I won't see him everyday like I do right now. Real life will begin when I move. My doctor put me on a heavy duty anti depressant and I can tell a difference on it. I'm crying a lot less. Its like I know I'm sad but I don't feel it. Whatever it takes to help me cope.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t189592/ 3 weeks is still pretty fresh. Take it slow, day by day. Right now you probably like that you still see him and stuff, but believe me it'll be easier once you stop. In case he starts seeing someone else, etc. The least contact, the better. Don't rush, everything will be okay. Time flies.
Author muhlissah Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Yes, deep down I do like him being here. I know once I move it won't be as easy for him to come see our son. Right now he is a block away when we move it will be 20-30 minutes away. I still find reasons to have to contact via text before I go to bed. Tonight I can't think of a reason. Its probably for the better.
BCCA Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Usually, the stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You can run through all of them over and over, as I've learned. lol Stay NC, it really is the only way.
amaysngrace Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I actually think it'll be easier when you move. You will be someplace new and you won't have the constant reminders. Is that your baby in the avatar? If it is it's a shame you guys aren't together. She looks young.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I went from shock (denial I guess) to depression to anger to calm. I don't think i've reached or hit the bargaining stage - or that I will this time around. I think people work through the stages differently....some quickly, others take a long time, some go back through a few stages, some freeze at a stage. The two central stages for me have been depression (which was actually only a few days but HORRIBLE) and anger (which has been really helpful in moving me forward). I also think the stages can happen in any order....for me the depression came first...THEN the anger.
Author muhlissah Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 I think I've been in denial the whole time. I still can't believe this is happening. I keep hoping I'll wake up and it will have al been a dream. When I talk to people about the situation I start to get angry, when I'm alone I'm sad. What does the bargaining stage mean? I mean I know what the word means but I'm not sure how its meant as a stage. Does it mean that I try to bargain with him to come home? I'm pretty much done with that stage, at least right now I am. Its been a week since I've asked him to come home. I know he's not giong to so whats the point? It just all sucks! amaysngrace-yep that's my baby, its a he and he will be one June 30th. We very much planned him and I think that's what makes this so much harder. He said he's been unhappy for about a year and a half which is about how long we've been married. We planned on starting for a baby right away and we found out we were pregnant exactly a month after our wedding. He knew before I got pregnant that he was unhappy and didn't want to stay. He said he thought he could live with the way things were when I asked him why we got married, had a baby, and bought a new house.
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