DL3 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Hey everyone, I'm currently in college and taking a summer course. First about myself, I'm more or less an average guy, I like to work out but with everyday clothes on, you probably wouldn't notice much. On a nerd scale, I'd probably appear to be about a 7/10 give or take a bit. Ok, so in the midst of the lame and boring lectures, I noticed a girl and we've begun talking a bit. It seems for my most part that she initiates the convos and she seems to be approaching me which is good because i'm not much of an initiator. We've just been having small talks and I've slowly began to fall for her. What really drew me to her was the way she naturally is which is soft spoken but social, dignified but down to earth and on the nerd scale, a bit more than me so an 8/10, overall a real sweetie It's these traits I found attractive in her. After a few days she started acting different, as in dressing and acting different and on nerd scale she's now 5/10. I "feel" that she's acting a bit more self centredness. We are still talking the same amount I think (maybe a bit less, but certainly not progressing, or that could just be my perception). Frankly, I am sort of beginning to lose interest in her because of her new "character" but at the same time I still want her because I like just the way she was. I wish I could just tell her to just be her normal self but obviously it's not that simple. So what's going on here? Did she change because she wants me to become attracted to her (and has not suspected it yet)? Or does she want me to go away in a polite manner (thus by becoming different)? I'm not sure what should I do? And to the rest of the ladies out there.....look, us guys (or at least nice guys) are simple in this kind of logic, lol. If you notice that we like you and if you are a nerd, flamboyant, partygirl, chill girl, or w/e, then we want to get to know you to see more of that, NOT different from that.
tanbark813 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I doubt the recent changes have anything to do with you. No way anyone on here can tell you if she likes you. The next time you're chatting with her, ask her out. Then you'll have your answer. It's not rocket surgery, broham.
Lucky_One Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 You said that she 'changed' after only a 'few days'. So really - you don't know her at all. You don't know if she is 'nerdy' or if she is a 'partygirl' or if she is a 'social butterfly'. She could have been having a few down days when you first started talking (bad PMS, a fight with her BF, her cat died, her mom had a cancer scare, she was on a diet and hypoglycemic), and now is her regular 'non-nerdy' self. Now, she might be a nerd, or she might not. But it might be best if you keep in mind that all people have different facets of their personality, and that judging her for a change in clothing isn't really fair to her.
norajane Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 You're so passive. Ask her out. Get to know her better. See who she is and what kind of personality she has when you're not in class whispering during lectures. You're making your assessments based on a few days of chat in class, and what she decided to wear a particular day. You don't KNOW her at all, much less know her well enough to say she's changed.
Author DL3 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Thanks, broski for the greenlight, and I appreciate the comments from you ladies as well. I realized I left out a bit, which I will add.... 1. It's not that she suddenly changed after a few days. She actually caught my eye for about a week. Then after few days of talking she changed. 2. We do a bit more talking than throughout the lecture ie. mostly before class and after class, still yes not much 10/12 mins a day. Unfortunately I have to jet out of the building after class to catch my bus which takes me to work 3. In the past, I've went out with mostly your "typical college" girl, who are pretty casual and more or less "not too proper". And that's why I never found it to hard to ask them out. But this one is different, she appears a bit serious, sort of sensitive, and which is why I'm not sure. Basically, I don't want to come on too strong and accidently scare her off, which is why I have been sort of passive. I'm trying to understand her first. It's also why I'm into her, she's different. Man, I hope I don't screw up this course....she's got me daydreamin'
Aries77 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Dude did you guys even go out on a date yet?? I mean, you're assuming all of these things that she may be "feeling," but I'm not sure if you should be feeling like this when you've never even gone on a date...I just think you're getting ahead of yourself here. Just relax. Don't take it to heart or too seriously. She's probably just trying to get to know you, but she's unsure of how she feels now. Just take it easy and slow, and maybe ask her out for coffee after class or something, or go in a group. That way, there's not that much pressure on you. Just some of my thoughts, but take it for what you want... Good luck.
Author DL3 Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 Just some of my thoughts, but take it for what you want... Good luck. Aries, your feedback is definitely appreciated! That also goes out to anyone who has something constructive to say. Well, I am currently doing exactly that...taking it slow. I decided to go for the classic building path (friends -> close friends -> couple) as it is the safe path if you're not sure how the person could react (could be different culture, personality type, etc) to a straight up date offer. As we continue to talk, I find that this girl is quite interesting and she's incredibly smart! I think that's probably why I subconsciously feel a bit....hmmm I want to say "intimidated" but that word is too strong, maybe "hesitant"? I think this one will take some time to build, but I'm not in any rush.
norajane Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 No, don't do that. That's going to send you straight into the friend zone and you'll never get out. She'll think you're not interested, and will write you off. Or she'll see you as asexual, just a friend, if you don't flirt and ask her out. And if a woman doesn't think of you in a sexual way, you'll always be just a friend. Ask her out. It doesn't have to be a big production. "Hey, I'd like to take you out for coffee or a drink. When would you like to go?"
Author DL3 Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Wow, that didn't even occur to me (maybe because my mind has been buzzed lately). You're awesome Nora, I could have been screwed! That's what I've been looking for, someone to post a possible way how she could react to me. Well, looks like I'll have to pick up the pace a bit.
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