bluewolf17 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 If you guys can't tell, I am having a serious case of the blues today. So....lets get some positive coping stories going! Who has good news? Who has healed? Who has found love again? Do tell!
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 lets get some positive coping stories going! Who has good news? Who has healed? Who has found love again? Do tell! I need this, too. Like really bad... I think what helps me the most is hearing stories of people who have gone through this and have gotten through it completely. My biggest fear is that this will bother me forever, in any way at all. I have a bad case of the blues today, as well. It's hard to talk without my voice trembling. And the depressing and suicidal thoughts kicked in, too. Ahh, when will this end? Let's keep our heads up! And thank God for LS. This has helped me so much.
t0ri Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I haven't healed yet, but I'm well on my way! So that's some good news! My ex and I haven been broken up for 3 months. The first month I went NC, but the 2nd month we spent supposedly "reconciling," only for him to end things again 5 weeks ago. So I'm 3 months single, 2 months total without him, 5 weeks NC. The first month was hell. I couldn't have even imagined pain and depression that severe. But it has gotten MUCH better! It definitely got harder before it got easier. But I'm doing ok now, finally. I've accepted what happened, and let go. I still think about him like 30 times a day, but that's lessening with time. It's still a rocky road that I'm on. I'll have good days, then one or two depressed days. The good days are becoming more frequent and longer-lasting and FINALLY I'm thinking about ME, and not worrying about HIM (who he's hooking up with, what he's doing). I have the passwords to his email, myspace, facebook, etc, so it's really difficult to not check up on him, but I've stopped that. I've let go, and FINALLY realized I deserve much better. My self-esteem is building its way back up. ibelieveinsymmetry, I felt like I'd never be able to get over this, let go, stop thinking about him, missing him, I thought I'd never stop wondering why he dumped me and how he could be so coldhearted afterwards. I thought this healing process/cycle would last FOREVER, but it won't. It might be a repetitive cycle for awhile, where you're sad one day, fine the next, pissed off the one after that, then back to depressed and it starts all over. I'm still in this cycle myself, but believe me, it gets easier. I thought I wouldn't be able to get out and date for years because the thought of being with someone else, kissing someone else, almost repulsed me because all I wanted was my ex. Forever. I had him for 2.5 years, so dating again seemed foreign. But I'm getting back out there and I'm excited about it! I didn't have fun at all for the first two months when I would go out with friends, because I was depressed and only thought of him. Now I can go out and have a great time, and actually don't think about him much at all until I'm by myself. That's a big step for me! He's fading from my mind, which is kind of sad to me, but exactly what I need. I'm sorry you two are having a bluesey day It happens. But they'll become less frequent with time, promise! Feel better you two!
Nuala83 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 It's Friday tomorrow!!! There is good news!!! You mean bad news! Weekends are just the worst Bluewolf and ibelieveinsymmetry, I know just how you guys are feeling. I just hope we can all get to the stage Tori's at really soon!
Author bluewolf17 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 On a light note, today is actually okay. Yes, I thought of him, a bunch of times. But I don't really feel sad today. Actually, getting of work here pretty soon, then my friend who is a photographer is taking some fun pics with me around 7, then we are meeting up with some friends for happy hour. Fudge my ex. He's missing out. I am awesome (sorry, don't feel like being humble today). Actually I have this new guy I met awhile back. We have back and forth txt messaging all day. Nothing serious. Just fun. It's fun to be flirting again;) I agree-the weekends our the worst. Fridays and Sundays use to be "our days" (Saturdays was for my girlfriends). Bluewolf out
LadyV Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 You mean bad news! Weekends are just the worst Bluewolf and ibelieveinsymmetry, I know just how you guys are feeling. I just hope we can all get to the stage Tori's at really soon! Yeah, weekends are the worst yes. I share custody with my XH, and my kids are with me 2 weeks on, then with him 2 weeks. This is my last weekend with my boys and I have had them for 3 weeks because of the trip I had to take home on emergancy....That is when I started NC, when I was back home. I can't believe it has almost been 4 weeks NC. I try to keep myself busy, I'm hanging out with my friends again, getting out and doing things I enjoy. As far as dating, I am NOT going there for a while. My therapist as well as myself feels that right now, it isn't something I should do...I feel the same way. I want to work on me... We all will get through this!!! I'm thankful for the great support I have gotten here!
LadyV Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 On a light note, today is actually okay. Yes, I thought of him, a bunch of times. But I don't really feel sad today. Actually, getting of work here pretty soon, then my friend who is a photographer is taking some fun pics with me around 7, then we are meeting up with some friends for happy hour. Fudge my ex. He's missing out. I am awesome (sorry, don't feel like being humble today). Actually I have this new guy I met awhile back. We have back and forth txt messaging all day. Nothing serious. Just fun. It's fun to be flirting again;) I agree-the weekends our the worst. Fridays and Sundays use to be "our days" (Saturdays was for my girlfriends). Bluewolf out Fudge my ex she says!!!! Love it girl!! Love it!!! I too have been texting a friend, NOTHING THERE THOUGH. He is a great friend, no flirting..He's my "break-up buddy" I got that from the book..."It's called a Break-up Because It's Broken". He keeps me grounded...the only down side is that he's XBF room mate. I know, you must be thinking..."Do you ask about XBF?" Surprisingly no. He gripes about him too because living with XBF is HARD!!! His moodswings are so severe at times, Roomate can take it... He's been a great friend, and has been supportive. He and XBF aren't really friends, they don't hang out with the same group of people...they just share a place for cost reasons. My friends have been tremendous support. Although I had to force myself to get out and do stuff, I am finally finding the joy in things, and am going to enjoy this "single life" for a while...and most of all, really get to know me!
LadyV Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 I haven't healed yet, but I'm well on my way! So that's some good news! My ex and I haven been broken up for 3 months. The first month I went NC, but the 2nd month we spent supposedly "reconciling," only for him to end things again 5 weeks ago. So I'm 3 months single, 2 months total without him, 5 weeks NC. The first month was hell. I couldn't have even imagined pain and depression that severe. But it has gotten MUCH better! It definitely got harder before it got easier. But I'm doing ok now, finally. I've accepted what happened, and let go. I still think about him like 30 times a day, but that's lessening with time. It's still a rocky road that I'm on. I'll have good days, then one or two depressed days. The good days are becoming more frequent and longer-lasting and FINALLY I'm thinking about ME, and not worrying about HIM (who he's hooking up with, what he's doing). I have the passwords to his email, myspace, facebook, etc, so it's really difficult to not check up on him, but I've stopped that. I've let go, and FINALLY realized I deserve much better. My self-esteem is building its way back up. ibelieveinsymmetry, I felt like I'd never be able to get over this, let go, stop thinking about him, missing him, I thought I'd never stop wondering why he dumped me and how he could be so coldhearted afterwards. I thought this healing process/cycle would last FOREVER, but it won't. It might be a repetitive cycle for awhile, where you're sad one day, fine the next, pissed off the one after that, then back to depressed and it starts all over. I'm still in this cycle myself, but believe me, it gets easier. I thought I wouldn't be able to get out and date for years because the thought of being with someone else, kissing someone else, almost repulsed me because all I wanted was my ex. Forever. I had him for 2.5 years, so dating again seemed foreign. But I'm getting back out there and I'm excited about it! I didn't have fun at all for the first two months when I would go out with friends, because I was depressed and only thought of him. Now I can go out and have a great time, and actually don't think about him much at all until I'm by myself. That's a big step for me! He's fading from my mind, which is kind of sad to me, but exactly what I need. I'm sorry you two are having a bluesey day It happens. But they'll become less frequent with time, promise! Feel better you two! t0ri, you give me hope!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!!! I can't wait to be where you are!
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 You mean bad news! Weekends are just the worst I know, right?! And summer is around the corner, which makes everything worst. I was kinda pissed at her for ending it near the end of the school year, 'cause then I'd have to spend long, boring, summer days thinking about her. But I'm grateful at the same time, because the worst will happen through the summer, and I'll be in better shape once the new school year comes. Which means, FINALLY, I can go back to my stable good-student mode she snatched away from me for so long.
LadyV Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 I know, right?! And summer is around the corner, which makes everything worst. I was kinda pissed at her for ending it near the end of the school year, 'cause then I'd have to spend long, boring, summer days thinking about her. But I'm grateful at the same time, because the worst will happen through the summer, and I'll be in better shape once the new school year comes. Which means, FINALLY, I can go back to my stable good-student mode she snatched away from me for so long. You know what's funny? My XBF used to tease me and say..."Oh, you are my winter girlfriend...if you're lucky, you might be my Summer one..." Yeah, he claimed to be joking, but now I see, he isn't!!! I hear you about the getting yourself through the summer and getting back into the swing of things!!! Good for you!!!
Change543 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Good News After about 2 months I finally went a night without thinking about my ex who cheated on me and then went to the same guy. Reason- Some else who I meet tonight. I feel excited and everything, giving me hope even if this comes out to nothing. Hope that everything will be ok, just be patient and you will find someone you deserve.
No Foolin Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Good news I'm still alive, you've got to be happy about that lol In all seriousness, allow me to provide some perspective: You are breathing, you haven't had your limbs blown off by an IED, you're not dying of a terminal illness, I'm going to assume you're still employed, have a family that loves and cares about you and you are not currently in flames! Life is good, roll credits. No Foolin
Montclair0011 Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 I am so not appropriate for this thread. Nothing in my love or professional or parental life is going well at the moment. But, this thread is a good idea. It's nice to think that maybe someday I might be able to write "Oh, good thing I did not slit my wrists after all everyone. Things turned out better than I expected. . .I see light at the end of the tunnel" What a wonderful thought. Graduation from LoveShack. My new goal.
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