blabla3 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Hi, I am new to this forum, been reading some threads lately, since I am confused about a current situation in my life. Anyway, Im gonna try to make this short. I am 21 years old and the girl I'm confused about is 20. This basically started about a year ago, when I changed hairdressers. I got my hair cut by this beautiful girl who I didn't know. I've been going there ever since. Shes cute, fun to talk with etc. She had a boyfriend so I never really did anything but talk with her, occasionally exchanging a couple of nice eye contacts making her laugh etc... But anyway... About a month ago, she added me on Facebook out of nowhere(the day right after I went to get a haircut) Now this was weird to me since she is only my haidresser, but I didn't really bother since Everyone adds everyone on facebook for no reasons. Now a couple days later, when I log-on she immediatly talks to me, we talked for about 1 hour about all sorts of things... This happened a couple of times in about 2 weeks. The last time we talked she asked me to add her on MSN, wich I did. Now when I log onto MSN she again comes to me saying hi and we talk for a while again. A couple of days after that, she broke up with her boyfriend (a 1year+ relationship) Now this seemed kinda weird to me... Anyway... Last week I went to get a haircut, and she seemed a bit flirty, smiling a lot, and she actually remembered I always was going there on Thursdays, wich was actually true... And when I teased her about it later on, she almost blushed... Anyway... Before leaving, I asked for her phone number and told her it would be cool to hang out sometimes, she said ok and gave it to me.. Now this is where I am... Really NOT sure if she likes me at all, or if my mind is playing tricks on me... I texted her like, 4 days later saying hi, what are you up to etc... She seemed a bit busy(answered texts like, 20-30 min later) so I kinda stopped texting her. Wich kinda creates a awkward situation to me... Now my question... Do I actually have chances with her? Should I call her, ask her out? Or just let things go by their own? She seems to be the shy type (I am a bit either, well not really shy but I'm not that good at keeping good conversations) Any tips would be GREATLY appreciated... and please note if this ever works out this would be my first Date ever... I'm kinda ashamed of this, but whatever... A confused guy.
prettybaby Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 The whole thing was sounding really great until: ... I texted her like, 4 days later saying hi, what are you up to etc... She seemed a bit busy(answered texts like, 20-30 min later) so I kinda stopped texting her. Wich kinda creates a awkward situation to me... It's not complicated: she likes you, obviously. You like her too. You asked for her number and said you'd like to hang out some time, she agreed and gave her number to you .... She was quite obviously expecting you to call and ask her out. Don't text with some random "how are you?". Call and get to the point. She will accept, you two will set a date and time that suits you both, you'll go out, and if the date goes well, you'll have a second date. The whole situation seems pretty clear. You're only confused now because you texted some random "hi" message instead of making a proper call to ask her out like she probably assumed you would after what you said to her when you asked for her number. Sounds like, on top of it, you texted her when she was busy. Don't mess around with texts at this early stage.
mogul Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Always better to make a call. She is obviously in to you. With the texts, i personally think taking a while to respond is a good sign. Interested or playing games, but still interested. I personally take a while to respond to texts from girls im interested in, and with friends/others i instantly shoot a response if i am free.
lora22 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I would tread very carefully since she just got out of a relationship. If she is interested...she might be annoyed that you asked for her number because you wanted to hang out sometime...and then instead of calling her and asking her out, you texted her to see how her day was.
prettybaby Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I would tread very carefully since she just got out of a relationship. If she is interested...she might be annoyed that you asked for her number because you wanted to hang out sometime...and then instead of calling her and asking her out, you texted her to see how her day was. Could be the case, but to be honest, it doesn't strike me that way at all. Of course I don't know her personally. But from what he describes, she's been seeking more contact with OP for a little while now. Her relationship with the ex boyfriend had probably been fizzling for quite a while; the split may have been coming for long. Who knows. In any case, I wouldn't over analyze it right now. Especially since you'll get plenty of time to analyze her past over the dinner you're about to invite her to ...
lora22 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Could be the case, but to be honest, it doesn't strike me that way at all. Of course I don't know her personally. But from what he describes, she's been seeking more contact with OP for a little while now. Her relationship with the ex boyfriend had probably been fizzling for quite a while; the split may have been coming for long. Who knows. In any case, I wouldn't over analyze it right now. All very good points since you'll get plenty of time to analyze her past over the dinner you're about to invite her to ... This being the very best one!
Author blabla3 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Thanks for the quick replys... I'm not quite sure if shes actually into me tho, its only the impression she gave me, I haven't seen her on msn for over a week now, wich is kinda weird... Anyway, now im scared she thinks im a weirdo for texting her like an idiot... and I don't wanna call her :/ And if I do call her, I can't just like, ask her out... would seem weird to me... This is really all weird to me. I've been thinking about her for almost a week nonstop (day and night) I just can't stop trying to analyze it and come up with something perfect to say when I do call her >_<
aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 The whole thing was sounding really great until: It's not complicated: she likes you, obviously. You like her too. You asked for her number and said you'd like to hang out some time, she agreed and gave her number to you .... She was quite obviously expecting you to call and ask her out. Don't text with some random "how are you?". Call and get to the point. She will accept, you two will set a date and time that suits you both, you'll go out, and if the date goes well, you'll have a second date. The whole situation seems pretty clear. You're only confused now because you texted some random "hi" message instead of making a proper call to ask her out like she probably assumed you would after what you said to her when you asked for her number. Sounds like, on top of it, you texted her when she was busy. Don't mess around with texts at this early stage. And if he called and asked her out she probably would have turned him down to play hard to get, or she would have just been turned off. Also, I know that as a 20 year old that no one calls anymore. I wish people talked, I hate texting, but texting is the thing to do. For a while when I'd get a girl's number I'd call her to ask her out and she seemed to be totally off guard. When I tried texting a simple "hey what's up," they responded much better and I actually got a bit further.
Author blabla3 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 Also when if everything goes well and I actually end up going out with her... I honestly have no clue how to handle the whole dating part of the discussion, since i've never had any girlfriend/sex/dating exprience etc... Im afraid shell think im weird if I tell the truth, but then again... I just CAN'T lie... Never been able to.
aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Also when if everything goes well and I actually end up going out with her... I honestly have no clue how to handle the whole dating part of the discussion, since i've never had any girlfriend/sex/dating exprience etc... Im afraid shell think im weird if I tell the truth, but then again... I just CAN'T lie... Never been able to. I've always wondered if I'd have the same problem. I always figured I'd tell the truth but stretch it a little, like say, "nah, I've never had a girlfriend...because most girls I meet are crazy" something like that.
start-fresh Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Also when if everything goes well and I actually end up going out with her... I honestly have no clue how to handle the whole dating part of the discussion, since i've never had any girlfriend/sex/dating exprience etc... Im afraid shell think im weird if I tell the truth, but then again... I just CAN'T lie... Never been able to. There's really no reason to bring this up in the early stages and if she asks tell her it just hasn't really happened yet for you. Just act like it doesn't bother you and if she is into you, it won't matter.
ratzskinakie Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 And if he called and asked her out she probably would have turned him down to play hard to get, or she would have just been turned off. Also, I know that as a 20 year old that no one calls anymore. I wish people talked, I hate texting, but texting is the thing to do. For a while when I'd get a girl's number I'd call her to ask her out and she seemed to be totally off guard. When I tried texting a simple "hey what's up," they responded much better and I actually got a bit further. What? girls wont turn guys down by calling just to play hard to get, if one does, than she's probably stupid. Girls don't get turned off by calling them unless they already don't like you to begin with. It's not like she will say," That turns me off, I wish he would of text me instead". If anything, texting before going out in a date is a turn off because it comes off as the easy way out for the guy or too much of a wuss for the guy to call, it may work, but it may also make things more wierd and complicated like in this case. However, I think texting can work in several cases such as, "hey, when's the best time to call you?" or, "i've tried calling you, no answer" etc... Yes, Texting is the thing to do, AFTER the first few dates with the partner, after the two know each other and there is chemistry going on... blabla3, it doesn't matter if she likes you or not, what matters is whether you take action or not. If you don't, then you will never find out for sure, and there will be no date for sure, don't expect her or wait for her to make set the date plans, that's the mans job. In fact, it sounds like she said yes when you got her number, all you have to do now is CALL her with the dating plans. Don't wait too long, they often don't like that, she might say no if you waited to long..
aotc Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 What? girls wont turn guys down by calling just to play hard to get, if one does, than she's probably stupid. Girls don't get turned off by calling them unless they already don't like you to begin with. It's not like she will say," That turns me off, I wish he would of text me instead". I actually can recall a few instances where girls said such things. They said that calling so early was "inappropriate" and that texting would have been a lot more inviting. Maybe it's a location thing, but nobody wants to talk here in NYC. It's all about texting.
Author blabla3 Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 Well, I asked her out earlier today, left a VM since it didn't answer... Told her I'd like to take her to a dinner etc... She answered later with a text msg(also told her I wouldn't answer the phone since I was at work) saying she was busy all weekend, alrdy got something saturday and she's moving sunday(wich she had told me last time we met) She then wrote: Have a nice weekend! Xx, I txted her back saying it was alright, and that I hope she has a good weekend too. So .... do I still have a chance with her? Should I wait or re-call her later next week for next weekend(really hard in week days for me since I work until midnight) It took about 2 hours for her answer the VM with the txt msg... is that normal or something?
filh Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Hi blabla3. IMO, she didn't re-schedule or tell you when she will be free, so I think her interest level isn't high. But who knows, you can try again next week and if she declines again, then you can just move on good luck!
prettybaby Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Hmm, what bugs me is that she didn't offer an alternative date, but if she really is in the process of moving and all, then let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Moving is stressful and can be overwhelming. Not sure if you should call again next weekend. When's your next haircut scheduled?
Author blabla3 Posted May 30, 2009 Author Posted May 30, 2009 Hmm, what bugs me is that she didn't offer an alternative date, but if she really is in the process of moving and all, then let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Moving is stressful and can be overwhelming. Not sure if you should call again next weekend. When's your next haircut scheduled? About a month? It kinda seems awkward to me tho, after asking her out and stuff...
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