used2bthesweetstgirl Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 i feel embarrassed abut this predicament.. While in high school I dated this guy for a little over 2 months (not a long time i know).. but what gets me so mad is that i just CANT get him out of my head... we broke up over a year ago, he initiated it... he has a new gf now that he seems to be really happy with.. i've learned to deal but every now and then i just get bummed out and i go to his facebook page and think "damn..that should've been us" i never felt what i felt for him for any other guy. i know time is a healer but my time is past overdue.. what can i do?
hew Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I guess its normal to still think about him every now and then, especially if you really cared for him.. ya know? And i know how it can hurt to see him moved on. But in all honesty life does go on! If your still really thinking about him and missing him i would talk to someone about it and someone you trust. Stay reallly busy and occupied. And just date around, get to know people and make new friends/relationships. Theres a huge world out there you gotta keep that in mind. and one day you will find someone who will just knock you off your feet! and you will love it. dont worrrrrrry. im going threw something too. i dated someone for 6 months and we have been parted for a month and a half now, i still think of him. but its getting better. still sucks though at times and hurts. just know your not alone
Cora Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I agree that you should get out and be around preople as much as possible. Go out with friends, make new friends etc. The worst thing you could do is to constantly be alone. When we are alone all these thoughts start to creep into our minds and we can drive ourselves crazy! Even if you have to be alone....keep yourself busy. Don't allow the thoughts of that person to even enter your mind. The more you stay busy the less you will think of them. It's also best to stop looking at his facebook. How do you expect to get over him if you keep checking it and seeing what is going on in his life? Better yet, just block him or remove him from your friends list. That way you wont be able to see what is going on with him and therefor starting the cycle all over again of missing him, and thinking about all the (woulda, coulda, shoulda's). Once you can get past this it will be easier. You will meet someone new someday and you won't even remember this guys name. It just takes time and a lot of willpower on your part. It's tough, I know, but you will get through it and come out stronger because of it.
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 get someone else or get distracted with something positive.
Exit Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Sounds like you need to practice letting go if things in general. Life is short and precious, you are wasting your energy missing this guy. And I know love can be strong in any situation, but even you acknowledged that you feel silly over missing someone you were with for 2 months. You need to find the value in you and you alone. Take up a hobby. Start achieving some goals. Take some classes. Read a book. Join a gym. Examine other areas of life where there's room to improve your happiness aside from thinking about this guy. You need to get to a level where you are happy with or without someone. Then you'll be ready for a relationship again. Do not rely on another person to fill a void in your life, you need to be complete before anyone else can truly love you. My 1.5 year relationship was all about fast food and watching TV. Now that it's over, I LOVE the fact that I am working out and watching every single thing that I eat. And guess what? It takes up a lot of space in my mind too, just worrying about what I'm eating, planning workouts, etc. Try to be happy with what you already have. Let go of your desires and just feel content for a few minutes. If you can't manage to be happy where you are now, then imagine 1 thing that you would like in your life, and start pursuing it. Make no excuses. Many of the ideas that you might come up with... taking classes, joining a gym.... are all paths than can lead you to meeting new people, which will help as well.
asuman Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Hey, I'm a 2-monther too! And she also has a boyfriend. And we're also connected on Facebook. But it's only been a few weeks for me and I'm well on my way to getting over her. I'd be pretty ticked off if I were still pining over her a year later. I do understand what you're going through. 2 months is just enough time to really become attracted to someone and like them, but not enough time for any of their negative or boring characteristics to come through. I think you should remember that you have no real "memory bank" on which to draw that should be keeping you fixated on this guy, as would be the case if you had a serious relationship with him. There was no love. There was no genuine, strong bond created between the two of you. It was just an initial spark, which obviously fizzled out since you didn't end up together. Count your blessings. It can be a lot more painful withdrawing from someone you do have that bond with. You, like me, do not. The other advice here is good. Take it, and move on!
Recommended Posts