bean1 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Here's a q for the men here. How would you prefer a woman acts when you are flirting/hitting on her but she isn't interested? I had a guy do this to me this morning while I was at the dog park (our dogs were playing). I don't mind chatting with strangers about our dogs there (do it all the time), but it's obvious that he was a little more interested. He was asking me about why I wasn't at work, how old I was, where I worked, why I was going to school, yadda yadda, small talk. I was polite but I wasn't really sure how to set the boundary here. I'm not one of those girls that will bring up that I have a boyfriend right away (I do... we live together), maybe I should lol. How would you like an uninterested/not-single girl to react to your flirting? Assuming that we don't want to flirt back (I really didn't want to). Walk away? Make an excuse? Say we just don't want to talk to you?? Put up with it while rolling our eyes? LOL.
paddington bear Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Can I add to the original question, how do you deal with guys who contact you through internet dating sites who you're not interested in. Ignore them (I think this is rude), send them a message saying 'not for me', which again, due to the nature of internet sites - based on photos and a brief description, is basically saying 'I think you're pig ugly'...so what's the best thing to do? sorry for the thread jack - but it's kind of related...
girl68 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I'm a lady but I've asked and here's the answers I got to the first post: Since they haven't actually got around to asking you out/ relationship status it's awfully cocky to just assume he's interested in you. Even if you KNOW he is. So be polite but not flirty back. You can answer questions, and ask them as well. What's the harm in small talk, especially in a common interest sport or activity. If it's completely random at a mall, on the bus- find a way to exit the situation or conversation polietly. "Alright, business done- nice chatting with you; have a good day!" If he does get around to asking for your number or a date that's easy: "I'm flattered but I have a boyfriend". Even if you don't. As for the internet thing, this is a long ongoing debate. Some hate it and do believe it's rude to ignore... but some think it's more cocky and more rude to say "I'm not interested". So really, it's up to you. I think it depends on case by case. If he read your whole profile and made a real effort to write you a reply I'd write back make a small joke, imply that I'm flattered but state that I'm not sure we'd hit it off. If he sends just a "hey, you're hot"- Ignore. My 2 cents.
GorillaTheater Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I usually got the hint after being served with the restraining order.
zhsoj Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Wait... We're not supposed to hit you over the head with a club and drag you back to our cave?
redfathom Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Okay, I am some what ashamed of my actions here: When I was like 20 I was walking to the store and this icky 40 something guy I am passing starts telling me how fine I am... So, I looked at him, gave him the finger and said "F you!" and kept walking... The thing is I look young, I mean I am now 27 and get carded to see rated "R" movies, so I must have looked really young when I was 20...
carhill Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 "Hey, you sound like a nice guy. My boyfriend and I should get together with you sometime" Keywords: "nice guy" and "boyfriend"
girl68 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 ^ That right there is like "hey, you seem like a nice guy... me and my bf have an open relationship and I'd like us all to get together sometime." HAhaha.
start-fresh Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 ^ That right there is like "hey, you seem like a nice guy... me and my bf have an open relationship and I'd like us all to get together sometime." HAhaha. Hmm, I tend to not assume someone means they're looking for sex with that line but to each their own I guess. :lmao:
carhill Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 If he takes you up on it, I'm sure BF will set him straight Seriously, though, such candor would work with the majority of men. If the guy is a degenerate sex hound, then likely nothing will work short of castration....
girl68 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Are you guys all saying that one has to suggest being friends, in order to reject?
alphamale Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Here's a q for the men here. How would you prefer a woman acts when you are flirting/hitting on her but she isn't interested? that she be firm but nice about not being interested. i like a direct answer but it shouldn't be nasty or mean. some women are not direct and some women get all bent out of shape....
lora22 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Once, my friend and I were walking to a bar; this guy we passed turned around and started following us, asked us to go to a bar with him, we said "sorry we're meeting our bfs" (we weren't); later we saw him at a bar, obviously not with our bfs...so embarrassing. He started hitting on me, commenting on my dress (along the lines of you're so beautiful, so fashionable blah blah, did you get that in Paris? or whatever). I looked him in the eyes with a totally straight face and said something along the lines of "I have no idea, but if I had to guess I'd say it was made in a 3rd world sweatshop." Moral of the story: you wanna reject a guy, just be anti-seductive. That way you don't have to "reject" him or turn him down or anything - he's just not interested anymore.
Trialbyfire Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Are you guys all saying that one has to suggest being friends, in order to reject?I'm not a guy but I'll respond anyways... It's an LS in-joke about the much dreaded friendzone that 20-something guys get upset about. It's like they feel it emasculates them, for being pushed into a "like" but not want to "do" zone.
girl68 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I'm not a guy but I'll respond anyways... It's an LS in-joke about the much dreaded friendzone that 20-something guys get upset about. It's like they feel it emasculates them, for being pushed into a "like" but not want to "do" zone. What? I don't get it... is rejecting them by offering them friendship a good thing? What if you don't want to be their friend, still lie?
Trialbyfire Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 What? I don't get it... is rejecting them by offering them friendship a good thing? What if you don't want to be their friend, still lie?It was a joke... Overall, most women inherently know how to handle men they're not interested in, reliant on how aggressive or obtuse, the men are. Freeze them off with either coldness or distaste/disgust.Gently find a way to disengage, whether it's an always busy signal or otherwise.Be direct but kind.Be friendly but don't flirt. If he flirts, ignore it.And sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
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