rya794 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I have become the biggest pu**y. I’m starting to believe that it’s the underlying reason that my fiancé cheated on me. If you’ve read any of my other posts I have given the explanations that she gave to me. But the more I read on love shack forums (not just the cheating forum) I can plainly see that I have nice guy syndrome. The worst part is that I think I developed it during my relationship with my ex fiancé as a way of ensuring that the relationship never failed. I completely disregarded my needs in order to fulfill hers and while I thought I was being a good boyfriend I was in fact smothering her. I would also always have an underlying motive for anything I did for her, the one that sticks out in my head the most, was that I would always exchange a back rub for sex even if I knew she wasn’t in the mood. I would never/maybe rarely just take her when I was in the mood. I even feel like sex wasn’t about passion towards the end of our relationship it was more about validating that she cared about me. I could go on and on with examples like this. I don’t know if any of you have read the book no more Mr. nice guy (it’s been mentioned on the forums here a couple of times) but it describes me almost word for word. What makes it worse is how she described her other guy, she said that he was a "cocky jerk" and she didn’t know why she liked him. I know exactly why she liked him, because he was a cocky jerk. I used to be that guy and I never had any trouble getting girls or making myself happy in general. I looked out for myself and happiness followed. Now I’m just a scared little b**ch. I haven’t made it all the way through the book yet, and a lot of people have mentioned that it helped them. But I am afraid that I am never going to be a “man” again. And I will forever be incapable of attracting decent girls and holding on to the ones that I do attract. Any thoughts?
2sure Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Being a man , a real man, and a gentleman falls somewhere in between the two. Cocky Jerk is nothing to aspire to and ultimately gets regrettable results and Mr. Nice Guy often gets no results at all. So, you have been Cocky Jerk. Check. And now you are Mr. Nice Guy. Check. Take the best lessons of both, and become the Real Man. Please note that unless a man has walked in both sets of shoes, he isn't experienced enough.
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