Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Question to guys.... why would a guy kiss and tell?
OverThinker Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Depends on who he is telling, but why wouldn't he? It's called braging LOL
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 but why wouldn't he? It's called braging LOL Ok... I understand that. But I don't understand the logic behind it. Isn't it a little disrespectful to the woman? Especially if the person he told is a mutual friend.
thewingwoman Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Same reason women tell their friends... If it's not completely understood to keep it to yourselves, most everyone will tell at least to a point. As far as a mutual friend, because they're most likely to find it interesting. Someone that doesn't know you both probably would get why it was so awesome or awkward or whatever it was.
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 Well it wasn't awkward at all. I don't know for a fact that he told... I just suspect because of some comments that the mutual friend made in different conversations (but in the same day) ... Like 'he's going to be your baby's daddy'... or 'Would you sleep with 'insert his name'?? The awkward part is that the other person knows. Should I be mad and/or should I confront him??
OverThinker Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I wouldn't say anything your mutual friend could have just been pulling your leg
prettybaby Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Why are you upset? Most couples are pretty cool with the rest of the world knowing they're together ... I think we're missing a background story here.
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 I think we're missing a background story here. Ok.. I'll give it to you... It's because we work together. And the mutual friend happens to be our manager. Even though the work place isn't your typical 'corporate america office environment' and we are 'cool' with our manager... I still wouldn't want him to know. It may change his perception of me.... why I care so much... IDK... maybe because it's none of his business?? I wouldn't get fired or anything for him knowing... I just don't think it's cool that he knows (if he does).
thewingwoman Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Oh wow, that is a whole different story altogether! That goes beyond just chatting with friends. That's your career. And yes, something like that can affect the way your manager looks at you. I'd just explain to him that your manager has been making comments like he has and ask him if he's mentioned anything.
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 That goes beyond just chatting with friends. Exactly!!! Exactly why it's uncool. I'm just trying to understand why he would do that. Why can't he just tell his 'other friends' that don't work there. I know them too... but I would understand that better because I am fully aware that guys chat about stuff just as much as girls and that's fine... but in this situation... I don't think it is! It breaks trust between us.. don't you think??
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 On the other hand... I could just be paranoid. But I'd like to think of myself as a smart girl.
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 So how long have you two been seeing each other? About 5 months. Nothing happened as far as sex for about 3 months of getting to know each other.
GorillaTheater Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I just suspect because of some comments that the mutual friend made in different conversations (but in the same day) ... Like 'he's going to be your baby's daddy'... or 'Would you sleep with 'insert his name'?? The awkward part is that the other person knows. Should I be mad and/or should I confront him?? I'd be mad about my boss asking me questions like this. What the hell is this all about? Assuming we're talking about a guy, it almost seems like he's jealous. Which, of course, is only an extra layer of trouble vis-a-vis your job. So yeah, maybe your guy should've kept his mouth shut.
Errant Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 A lot of companies have policies requiring reporting relationships- check yours to make sure that he wasn't just doing what he was supposed to.
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 So yeah, maybe your guy should've kept his mouth shut. Agreed. Which is why I am a bit slighted by it. Anyhow.. when ever I think about other people's motives, I always try and put myself in the other persons shoes... so.. with that said... the only reason why I'd kiss and tell... is when it's all I can think about and I just can't hold it in anymore and it's more satisfying to tell someone that shouldn't know verses telling my friends.
Author Awesome84 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 A lot of companies have policies requiring reporting relationships- check yours to make sure that he wasn't just doing what he was supposed to. Nope this isn't the case. Trust me. This is a small business with 5 employees. I am fully aware of any policies of the business considering I am pretty much the assistant manager. Everyone else falls under me.
BobSacamento Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I always keep my mouth shut when it comes to that crap. I just think it's better to be mysterious. Bragging to your friends and having women find out you brag to your friends will only turn women off, rarely on.
monkey00 Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I always keep my mouth shut when it comes to that crap. I just think it's better to be mysterious. Bragging to your friends and having women find out you brag to your friends will only turn women off, rarely on. My roommate always kisses and tells. Personally I find it quite entertaining to hear about his stories. And sometimes I tell him about mine also. But with me and him, we would keep it to ourselves. Though I agree with keeping your mouth shut and being mysterious, particularly with friends with big mouths. I have some friends who have big mouths and usually I prefer not to tell them anything...but every now and then I do slip up and leak some stuff which can't be helped. What it boils down to is this: telling a close friend about your secrets and dating/experiences could get you in hot water. Let's say you wind up in a relationship with a great person and your friends meet them. They could bring up something about your past and cause you trouble for the person you're seeing or your SO.
Lucky_One Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I'm confused. I thought "kissing and telling" refers to talking about intimate details of a sexual experience with a third party, not to letting a co-worker or friend know that you are dating each other. What exactly did he tell the manager?
Author Awesome84 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 LuckyOne.. I don't know what he told him or if he told him anything at all. I just suspect. Either way it would be none of his (manager) business. Now... I am seriously starting to wonder about my relationship with him. Because... why would he feel the need to tell?? He couldn't just tell his friends?? Why does our manager have to be his outlet??? I feel alittle disrespected and I am trying to figure out if I should be mad at him or not. I mean what would a guy who does this motives be??
Lucky_One Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Well, maybe the manager said he was going to ask you out for drinks Friday night, and your BF said, "Well, actually, we are seeing each other." Which really isn't that big a deal, IMHO. Now, if your manager and your BF had seen you walk past in a nice pencil skirt and bend over to get a piece of paper out of the copy machine, then looked at each other with an appreciative smile and your BF says, "Hey man, did you know I am tapping that ass regular?" then that would another thing entirely. What does bother me a bit is your manager making remarks about you having a "baby daddy".
Author Awesome84 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 What does bother me a bit is your manager making remarks about you having a "baby daddy". LOL.. Yes.. I think so too. I mean I don't have any kids but he has made comments to me about this kind of stuff before. Like a couple of times... he said.. "Your glowing today... your not pregnant are you?" and these were before me and the other guy were sleeping together anyway... So I didn't find it THAT offensive since I don't easily offend... My manager is always saying wrong things like this and I have to tell him about himself. But he does this to everyone. Even guys... like he'll tell a guy who does a favor for him... Man.. I love you.. If I was gay... I'd grab your ass. Anyway... I don't wanna make this thread about how wrong my manager is anyway. What I do hope to get out of this thread is some insite on how I should proceed. Because if I ask him if he said anything... things could get awkward. I just want to avoid the awkwardness all together. Me and him have always had a spoken trust between us and now I feel like that trust has been broken. Now I am considering ending the whole thing with him.... in which would also be an awkward situation as well. So you see my dilemma??
CandyBar Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 ask him if he's mentioned anything. I would avoid this because if he hasn't mentioned anything it would only create curiosity.
CandyBar Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Why does our manager have to be his outlet??? I feel alittle disrespected and I am trying to figure out if I should be mad at him or not. I mean what would a guy who does this motives be?? Look at it this way. Most want to impress the manager, boss or mentor so this is good way for someone with low-self esteem to get "points" with the manager or get recognition. You cannot be mad at him because you made the decision to date him. Take a look at your dating criteria and decide if it needs to updated.
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