Shovel Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Had a year-long BAD relationship (I ended it), took a few months off of it and started concentrating on some 'me' time to recoup. In that time I (through sheer happenstance) met someone. We started out as friends and pretty much stayed in that 'zone' for quite some time until finally something 'clicked' and the mutual attraction became paramount. From that point, we talked/texted every possible moment, saw each other lots... and finally went out on our first real 'Date'. It was utterly amazing. She said so too, repeatedly. We made plans for another and saw each other a few times in between... same great closeness that we shared during the friends stage, more chemistry... it was just... mind boggling. After the 2nd date... she out of the blue says the 'switch' in her head shut off and all those feelings she professed were gone. Just...gone. Its happened before, she hoped it wouldn't happen with us... But it did. Lights out, no feelings. She asked if we could be friends and I said I needed time to think about that. A few days later, get a text message saying that she missed me, that she would really like it if we could talk again. No indication that she wanted to try dating again per se -- but the resumption of mutual admiration and adoration flowed freely through those messages... this went on for a few days. Then... next time we had a chance to see each other -- dead air. None of that 'spark' was there. We still made plans to do something during the weekend (though I figured she would cancel). Here's where I go terribly wrong.... She texted to say she wasn't feeling well during her day-trip and would let me know if she would make it to our plans. I figured that meant a cancellation was impending so I went about doing other things. I hopped online and saw that she had posted somewhere with a timestamp of during the time she was supposed to be away. I actually got annoyed because it was clear (in the moment) that obviously I was in the "ok to lie to" pile... we had been extremely open and honest with each other and personally? not a big fan of friendships with people who lie to me. Cancel? Fine! All good! Just be honest...y'know? I called her on it. I sent a terse text. THAT was wrong, I should have just let it go. We talked, breifly about it. She said she was hurt by what I said. I apologized and that seemed to be the end of it. The next day I get a message saying that she didn't think it was a good idea for us to try to be friends anymore. Also, completely understood... I can respect that. I replied that I would respect her decision, should she decide to distance herself from me or end the friendship and that the things she shared with me were meaningful to me, and give a call if she wants to talk. I'd feel worse if I thought that I was in the wrong here. I was wrong to speak up the WAY that I did... but... I dunno... somehow this morning feel kind of 'stuck'. I'm sorry I hurt her feelings. But on the other hand, (unless by some SAD turn of the universe I was mistaken or misread)... do I really want to continue ANYTHING with someone how can't be straight with me? What she does with her time is none of my business, I realize that... but don't make plans and then make excuses when a "hey, can't do it" would be much more acceptable. It's obvious that the things she said during the breif 'escalation' of the situation and during the following week don't carry much weight with her as far as meaning them beyond 'the moment'. Which, is honestly disappointing. Anyway - aside from an ill-advised and quickly regretted "how was your day" text last night, I've kept myself from contacting her. It was a SHORT 'thing' with someone I've only known for a few months... and somehow I'm just as head-spinny as after relationships that lasted YEARS. I keep wondering what she's thinking, or going to decide as opposed to prioritizing myself and looking at what I want or don't want. I'm not sad, I'm having a pretty great couple of days honestly... just, thoughts keep wandering back to some of the things we talked about and wondering how much of it still carried any weight with her. Or if she'll get in touch again... yeah, I miss the talks, I miss the, the hangout time...I hang out with other friends, but it's not quite the same.... But that's normal... the head-game though... not fond of. Well, that's my story... feels good to empty it from the brainspace for a minute. Thoughts?
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