sxyNYCcpl Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I apologize if I'm monopolizing the conversation, but I found a much better way to express a thought, and I could not edit my prior post. They question their bodies. Their ability to please him in the face of super over the top porn-star expectations that men LOVE. Porn does not cause this. If those who feel that way are ugly, or can't give a proper blowjob to save their lives, their partner ceasing to watch porn will not change that. They will still be ugly and/or in need of some lessons.
MeaganRaye Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 What you call integrity I call sexual repression. Slowly, but certainly, it is leaving our way of life. That is a good thing. Not being able to view porn in public is not sexually repressing anybody. You do that in the privacy of your own home
Jersey Shortie Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Jersey Shortie, with respect, I'd really like you to address the women who watch porn too. As someone else quoted, women make up about 40% of online porn browsing...that isn't THAT much less than half! I understand being against porn all together for moral reasons, or being for it all together because you just don't care. However, I am very confused as to why you seem to only link porn and the need for release to men. As I stated before, I can't see my boyfriend every day, and in his absence, I too use porn to get off! As many guys have stated, I need to have some sort of release on an almost daily basis, and of course sex with my partner would be my first choice, but that's not always possible. If your issue is with a lack of self control then okay, take it up with both genders. I promise you, coming from a woman, it is not just men Well frankly, I'd like to see where that source is cited that it's 40%. Secondly, I never denied that women view porn. Not once. So I am unsure why you are so confused. I however think porn is still male dominated in taste an exposure and usage. I also think porn is overwhelmingly more degrading to women more often then towards men, while neither way is right. From my experience, women are more bothered by it then not. No one wants to admit to that figure and wants to tout the party line that women like it too. While women like it too, I think more women then not are bothered by it. The mirrored of posts on here alone tell us that. You are not the first person to ask these questions and this is not the first time I have answered it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this thread alone is "riddled" with more women that are telling you that you're full of it (and who you continually ignore) than it is women that are backing you up. There is one or two women who totaly disagree with me but to say it's "riddled" with it is rather untrue. I know alot of women agree with what I say. And it's *you* that continues to ignore that fact. ah - so "I talk to women in real life" is a qualifier for you to speak for them as a whole, eh Not at all. It's to express that I talk to alot of women in real life who are infact bothered by the porn use. Why do you want to ignore that? sigh...we're going to play this game again. OK - where are the guys that have said "the second their gf/wife isn't around, they will be off hunting new images of women." I UNDERSTAND that this may not be a direct quote, but can you show me where this was even implied by anyone? Okay but when you use words like "qouted", I am going to think you mean words like "qouted". As to answer your question. I already followed that in my previous post to you qouting the comment about women not being avaible 24/7 means it's justifible that men seek out their needs from other women in images or movies.
Die Hard Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I however think porn is still male dominated in taste an exposure and usage. I also think porn is overwhelmingly more degrading to women more often then towards men, while neither way is right. . Sounds like you watch a lot of porn
Jersey Shortie Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 What you call integrity I call sexual repression. Slowly, but certainly, it is leaving our way of life. That is a good thing. We are a more sexualized culture but I don't think it's exactly a true and real repsentation of what real sexuality should be more then it is an ideal or stereotype marketed to the general public. So is it really sexual freedom or sexual repression in a different form? I tend to think the current culture climate is one where we are in a different league of sexual repression. Lets be hoenst, we aren't a healthy and happy culture. And relationships between the sexes aren't for the better in 2009. If their bodies and/or sexual skill sets are a problem, they are a problem whether or not their SO's view porn. I don't agree. I think in many cases, women have questioned their own ability to be feminine, sexy and beautiful enough to please their man when he is indulging in a super ideal about women through movies that purposely cater to male desires first and pretty much play off every male insecurity as well. And THAT is why I say that most problems with porn say nothing about porn, but are rather statements of negative self-esteem. Excellent, yes lets talk about negative self-esteem. Because porn does it's fair share of playing into male ego and male insecurity. Porn is all about male insecurity and creating a world where he is the *big man*. Yes, women can have negative self esteem but so can men. And porn is an excellent insight into all the insecurities they feel about themselves that get over extraploited to make the man appear bigger then life. Myself and my wife get to have our cake and eat it too. We get to have a wonderful relationship, a fantastic sex life, and we get to do it drama free because neither of us is silly enough to be threatened by something as trivial as a picture. And I am not silly enough to sell my partner out for something I claim is as unimportant as porn. Yet, alot of men are. 86% of men are willing to admit to an anonymous pollster they regularly watch porn. It is not becoming mainstream, it IS mainstream, and that horse is not going back in the barn. A few weeks ago we were having dinner with our neighbors and a couple of other couple. Turns out some friends of theirs were splitting up over porn. 100% of the people in the room were incredulous that someone would give it that much power. The culture war is over and you are on the losing side. I know many couples that split up over porn. Because the reality you don't want to admit to is today we live in a world where more men, more then ever, spend more time looking at porn instead of engaging with real women in the real world. And I think instead of this sexual revolution you think is going on, what we really have are men who don't really understand how to relate to women on a level that isn't staged with cameara and lights. We don't live in a time where relationships are more healthy and happy. If what you say is really going on, you think the divorce rate would be lower and relationships between the sexes would be happier. When the reverse is true. I don't settle for the status-qou. And many people are willing to do just that. That doesn't mean that I am on the loosing side either My friend. You tout that you are incredulous why someone would let something like that have so much power over their relationsihp when men every day make the choice that the porn is more important by their lyign about, hiding it and defending it. Standing by your "real woman" neither requires nor is defined by eschewing porn use. There are much more important things on that list. It's one example of how today's man doesn't stand by his woman infavor of his porn use. The truth is that for a man, it looks like porn use is very important in this day and age. That's not sexual revolution either. That's sexual repression. Newsflash. I just hit 40 last weekend. My wife is 3 years my junior. Nobody will mistake either of us for underwear models, but we stay in shape and both routinely get carded when going into bars. A few months ago, we had sex with hot couple about 25 or so. Guess what? Neither one of us left to go chase the youngin'. That's your lifestyle choice. Not one that many people go for. Fact remains, women give their live,s love and children to a man and what really matters to him boils down to a clip of an 18 year old girl with implants. THat's what so many men are willing to sell out their families and women for. And you have. Sometimes you are so repetitive that I could probably write your posts and nobody would realize it. No you couldn;t. And you are extremely repetitive yourself so I don't know who yo uare kidding.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Sounds like you watch a lot of porn I've see porn of course. Boyfriends always want you to watch it with them because it's always better when he can watch some chick hotter then you and then use you to have sex with. And when I first started having issues with male porn use and finding out that they used porn no matter how much I was into them or tried to pelase them sexually, I would watch porn to see if I could understand men better. I had very little expsure to it. Before that it had been a few Playboys I had foudn in my older brother's room. And the conclusion I came to is men like to see women used and tossed aside and that no matter what you do for a guy, it's just never enough for him. And there will always be pretty, newer more interesting women out there and your man will always be eager to look at them instead of appreciating you.
Die Hard Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 , I would watch porn to see if I could understand men better.. Hey I only watch so I can understand women better Research purposes only. I'm gonna write a paper maybe too but I have much more research to do before that happens.
sxyNYCcpl Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 So is it really sexual freedom or sexual repression in a different form? When actions that were once banned, or at least shunned, are now normal and routine, I'd say freedom has been enhanced. I don't agree. I think in many cases, women have questioned their own ability to be feminine, sexy and beautiful enough to please their man when he is indulging in a super ideal about women through movies that purposely cater to male desires first and pretty much play off every male insecurity as well. Of course you don't, to do so would require you to admit I had a point. As I said in my follow-up post, if you are ugly, you don't stop being ugly if your spouse stops viewing porn. Porn is all about male insecurity and creating a world where he is the *big man*. Until you define what kind of porn you are referring too this statement is too broad to discuss. And I am not silly enough to sell my partner out for something I claim is as unimportant as porn. The point is that it's too unimportant to even worry about. You tout that you are incredulous why someone would let something like that have so much power over their relationsihp when men every day make the choice that the porn is more important by their lyign about, hiding it and defending it. You have never, and will never, see me argue in favor of deceiving one's partner. The ONLY time that's acceptable is if you're planning a surprise party for them. That's your lifestyle choice. Not one that many people go for. I know that. My point was that we are a late-30's couple, and despite the fact that we had actual sex with a couple in their early-mid 20's, neither of us chose to pursue that any farther, because what we actually want is each other. If we can have actual sex with someone and have it be meaningless, then simply looking at pictures of other people is less than meaningless.
bean1 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Jersey, are you against porn even if both partners are open about their use and enjoy it together (or alone)?
samspade Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Jersey, are you against porn even if both partners are open about their use and enjoy it together (or alone)? Don't waste your time; she's just against grown, consenting adults having fun in general and will find any excuse to blame men for her bitterness.
Jaytb Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Hmm, so watching pictures or video is selling out your family? didn't know that. Everyone, we need to form a mob and burn down every movie theater, TV station, camera, etc, because of course someone might catch a glimpse of a boobie. Also BURN THE BOOKS!! They're the spawn of the devil!!
samspade Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 If you don't want to enjoy porn, that's one thing. If you don't want other people to enjoy it, move to Iran. There are a lot of anti-1st Amendment feminazis around here who don't believe in personal freedom of choice and think they should be the morality police for society. If you feel like you're competing with porn for your SO's attention, maybe you need to work on pleasing him or her and improve your attitude.
Jaytb Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 If you don't want to enjoy porn, that's one thing. If you don't want other people to enjoy it, move to Iran. There are a lot of anti-1st Amendment feminazis around here who don't believe in personal freedom of choice and think they should be the morality police for society. If you feel like you're competing with porn for your SO's attention, maybe you need to work on pleasing him or her and improve your attitude. I would really love to see how they would feel living in Iran, Saudi Arabia, or Afghanistan under the Taliban. Remember there's no porn, and women have to be covered up head to toe. These feminazis would probably love it, except that women have no rights! In Saudi Arabia, women aren't allowed to drive (which of course means Saudi roads are the safest to drive jk ). Feminists wanted liberation, well looks like they got it.
MeaganRaye Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 If you don't want to enjoy porn, that's one thing. If you don't want other people to enjoy it, move to Iran. There are a lot of anti-1st Amendment feminazis around here who don't believe in personal freedom of choice and think they should be the morality police for society. If you feel like you're competing with porn for your SO's attention, maybe you need to work on pleasing him or her and improve your attitude. maybe these men need to see a therapist for their porn addiction or marry a porn star. i know i wouldn't be breaking my back trying to compete w/ the porno girls who are probably high as a kite while they're screwing for money on camera
cn283 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 So my boyfriend and I have been together for several months now and things are fairly serious. We've had a few issues in our past but things are very good now. Yesterday I borrowed his computer and discovered that he visits a porn site on at least a "semi-regular" basis. I kinda freaked out! I previously had found naked picture messages from his ex girlfriends or flings saved in his e-mail (they were all way before we started dating). I asked him last night if he watches porn and his response was that all guys do! How true is this really? I mean I know that a lot of guys check out porn but I guess in my past relationships it stopped as soon as we got at all serious. Should I be concerned? When I asked about it, I explained to him that I was a little upset because it makes me feel like there is something that I can't give to him and that I'm not good enough...kinda takes the self esteem down a notch! I just wanted to get some input from both males and females if this is just a guy thing or if I should be worried! And also if other females would be at all distressed by this! Let's try to move this back to the OP shall we? Guys watching porn is normal, some guys do it more, some less, or some just hide it really well. Just like every woman is different, every guy is different. Maybe some of your old BF's lost interest when in a serious relationship, this one apparently didn't. Is it because of you? 9 times out of 10 it isn't, just like it's not him when your checking out a good looking celebrity. What you said later about the lunch thing, and the texting would make me question the relationship with or without the porn. This dude obviously has trust issues and you need to focus your energy on THAT. Personally I wouldn't date a guy that got jealous over a platonic lunch date, and if I were a guy, I probably wouldn't date a chick who put that much importance on porn. Like other people have said, usually there are other problems before porn is the problem...look at those.
missdependant Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 maybe these men need to see a therapist for their porn addiction or marry a porn star. i know i wouldn't be breaking my back trying to compete w/ the porno girls who are probably high as a kite while they're screwing for money on camera I love how you throw "high as a kite" in there like it's a bad thing. I'm not gonna lie.. I can't wait to smoke some herb before a nice lay again! Great aphrodisiac, maybe you should try it.
MeaganRaye Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I love how you throw "high as a kite" in there like it's a bad thing. I'm not gonna lie.. I can't wait to smoke some herb before a nice lay again! Great aphrodisiac, maybe you should try it. those ppl are sniffing hard drugs like cocaine and crack. not some weed
mr.dream merchant Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Ejaculating when you're stoned is the best. It feels so loooong and gooooooooood. Mmmm mmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm!
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