robaday Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 How do you forgive yourself for being obsessed with someone? how on earth can the damage done to your self esteem and everything be recovered? It's all a bad dream. Becoming dependant on someone for over a year to such an extent that when it was over i nearly died. And it hasn't got much better 8 months since. Sure I've got great friends, sure I've had a chance to tackle my depression, but now when I look back I was talking to an image, projecting everything onto someone. I can't see any bright side to this. I'm on meds, I'm in therapy, my friends love me, but i've had a warning from my boss about my sub-standard work. It's horrible, I feel sick thinking about it, but it's there all the time, each and every step of her stopping caring about me, each and every word we ever spoke, each and every circumstance in my personal life when she got in touch. I can probably recite every single conversation we had which is really wrong and disturbing. I'm at a loss. I'm seriously considering resigning and moving home for awhile but i'm not sure if that can solve anything. Any advice? And i am reading LAA forums, I am trying to work on my self esteem, I have read Eckhart Tolle as well as loads on LS. Its bizarre i dont want her back, and dont think I did after the break-up-she made the right choice for christ-sake, but it still didn't stop me from reading all the guides to get your ex back etc. I've blocked her on facebook, asked her not to contact me again and am desperately trying to forget the whole thing. But it was the most significant year of my life, and wherever i turn I wonder what she would think of this, what she would think of that.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 You forgive yourself because you should be kind to yourself. Its kind of dangerous sometimes the reactions and responses we have to other people. Its a combination of letting yourself go, a chemical reaction, thought processes and emotions. You can be addicted/obsessed with anything I believe; a person, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, food, washing your hands, a celebrity, a tv show. Its figuring out, what is that obsession fulfilling for you?
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