IslandGirl, Playettes can you me understand the philosophy?

[Nokia1446]

I have been awakened to the ideas of 'man-eaters' and their wicked manipulative ways from the posts of copiasking and IslandGirl etc. It is all VERY INTERESTING to me since my ex is the EPITOME of this type. I only wish to understand this type more so as I can prevent this from happening again, and to also maybe "help" this so-called human being, if she ever gets the chance to come across me again?

 

IN SUMMARY: I rubbed her feet, back, brought her food in the tub, was always there for her. She was 6 years older... brought up spoiled. Had plenty of ex's.. seemed to live in the past (always brought up their names,.. sheesh i know all of them) Eating disorder.. but she was gorgeous... sleeping/anxiety pills. Goodtimes= plenty of shopping/spending money.. Badtiems=no money, pissy attitude.

 

Asked me to get engaged 3 months into relationship.. talked about kids... 6 months into relationship wanted space as money situation not as fruitful... 8 months in she left me for her new boss.. whom made more money.

 

She had cheated on me and been with a relationship with this guy for a month.. kept me hanging on the entire time. PAINFUL AS HELL.. but slowly i grew out of it... and moved on.

 

5 weeks later, after calls all throughout the month (I made no contact, didnt respond etc) she was at my work and at my doorstep. She said he treated her terribly, she missed me like crazy... the little things.. the way i looked at her etc. She wanted me back. We went to where we met that night and had a great time. The ring got put back on.. she wanted to marry in a few months again.. and we brought up kids.

 

 

SHEESH! Too good to be true! It was very hard and very surreal. I literally tried kicking her out for the first half hour she was in my house that time she came back.. but she convinced me to 'hang out just for a couple hours'

 

So we were back together.. and after only a week I would find an email on her phone, after going to her hotel room after I kicked her out... only because she 'prayed that she not wake the next day' and sketched me out thinking she was going to kill herself....only then to find an email on her phone to her boss saying she 'loved him and wanted to be with him forever' etc etc. She wasnt just 'friends' with him after all.

 

LIKE I THOUGHT.

 

and she wants me to 'move in with her' (and risk everything, BTW) and help her find a different job (even though the entire time she had said NO to that idea.. and is picky as hell when it comes to jobs... and NEVER shows up on time and has a TERRIBLE work ethic.. because its ALL ABOUT HER ((hence she usually skips her first day at a job)))

 

I CANNOT tell you how stressed out I am. I cannot tell you how bad this girl rips my heart up.. EVERY DAY. I told her yesterday that if she did not stop contacting me I would put a restraining order on her.. and she still does. From his parents house... because she has nowhere else to go. Supposedly.

 

My question is this. Recently I thought the lack of nutrition she had literally has made her lose much of her mind and she was just 'confused' as a result. I KNOW she is trying to play me.,... but she says ALL THE RIGHT THINGS at times.. that she used to trick me EVERY TIME... but they are getting LESS AND LESS.

 

What motivates a person to be so vindictive and cruel? I feel bad flirting with a girl AFTER ALL THIS.. because I feel like im cheating. How does she get away with all she is doing?! I wouldnt be able to sleep at night.

 

To keep telling me she wants to get married, etc. When really she comes home with her ring off because 'she didnt want to ruin it with the cleaning chemicals'. Sureeee. But when I reject you, its on without even saying.....

 

she has had a million boyfriends! Shes almost 30 years old, with a third of her life nearly over, no steady career... boyfriend to boyfriend. I feel terrible for her.. even though she has royally screwed me over. What will break her cycle?

 

Her family has reached out to me, her friends as well. They worry she will be dead because of her ways... but she wants NO HELP!

[TaraMaiden]

Your problem is that you are looking at this situation from entirely the wrong angle.

 

Hers.

 

Forget what she does, when and why.

 

What you have to do is to consider you.

How you react.

Why.

And stop it.

 

Your thoughts words and actions are for you to engage with and express.

What she does is not the problem.

What you do, is.

The first thing you should do is to stop caring about her philosophy.

The second thing is to consider yours, establish it and move on.

[broadway11]

Your girlfriend has some serious issues. You probably don't have the qualifications to actually help her....and it does sound like she needs help.

 

One of my family members is just like this. She jumps from one man to another every other week it seems and when she does "commit" she cheats on them. I think it's just a way to validate herself....If all these different men want her then she must be an okay person right?? I think she's just empty inside and it's easier to play with other people's emotions than to face her own.

 

But you are just going to get hurt if you decide to stay with her. She's broken for whatever reason and you can't fix her.

[CaliGuy]

No offense to the people you asked for help from, but your problem isn't MAN-EATERS....

 

The problem is YOU. Just from the first couple sentences alone I could see that you were a door mat nice guy.

 

If you are a confident, secure man you would be able to discern what type of character a woman has in a short amount of dating and then decide to cut it off (hell I can sometimes do it on the first date now!) if necessary.

 

So here's your homework assignment. Read: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (Glover). That'll solve your doormat/wussy behavior and you'll never, ever get attached to bad women again.

 

Cheers.

[Woggle]

Forget her and move on with your life. She is obviously no good so leave her alone. If she contacts you just hang up the minute you hear her voice.

[girl68]

Yeah, the problem isn't her, or girls like her it's you.

 

You know how they say a guy will say anything to get a girl into bed? Well some girls can say anything to keep you sticking around. Same idea- girls fall for it all the time... guys fall for it all the time too.

 

Basically you got suckered- big time and multiple times.

 

Here's what you shouldn't do... try to gain access into that crazy head of that woman and "understand" why she does what she does.

 

Here's what you should do... stop being a wuss, grow some balls. She's using you one for a place to stay, to for a "friend" (even though you're not friends give AND take not JUST take), for money, and for a guy who treats her good (but will she ever treat you good? Nope). Get over it.

[annxxdisaster]

Haha, until I got to the end and saw that the woman you were talking about was only 30... I kept thinking, "Oh sh*t, it's my mother!"

 

I wouldn't qualify my mom as a 'man-eater', but she isn't going to commit to one of her boyfriends anytime soon. Seriously, I love her to death (my mom) but this woman sounds like a carbon copy of her. And honestly, she (your woman in question)is not going to change nor does she want to. So say goodbye and don't let her ever let her back in your life.