andy2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 consider a case: a girl breaks up with her long term relationship for a new guy. And later realizes that it was big mistake. Realization can be popup in her mind from time to time but one stage comes when she really feels it was mistake. I think it is not always true but considering this case, please give your inputs How long it takes for a stupid girl to become wise woman ?
bluewolf17 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 It took me 4 days. And even that..was "too late". Some stupid girls to wise women, don't get a 2nd chance.
Trialbyfire Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 How long it takes for a stupid girl to become wise woman ? About as long as it takes for a guy to figure out, he's not going to get any sympathy for calling anyone stupid. Look at it another way. If someone doesn't appreciate you and needs to break up to realize what they've lost, they're not the most reliable person to be with, in the first place.
cabarc1 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 took me 6 months to start realizing the grass might not be greener. I didn't leave him for "someone" i left him for freedom. I needed to grow up, i wasn't ready and had things i wanted to do. And yes, it was too late, he had found someone else....... Although, it was my only choice. He was my first everything and i wanted to live my life out alone before getting married. we were fighting like crazy, i loved him to death but wasn't happy because at that time i wanted something else, freedom. I don't regret the decision i made because i would have never been able to appreciate him if i hadn't done it and i would be miserable right now. I know now what i want. whether he ever understands that and forgives me, that's up to him. He is not with that girl anymore but whether or not he ever gives me another chance, we will see
Author andy2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 It took me 4 days. And even that..was "too late". Some stupid girls to wise women, don't get a 2nd chance. thank you Bluewolf I am surprised with 4 days actually. I have searched (or researched) many websites and found that that period can be between 3~6 months for most of them. It may be also depend on the intensity of rebound relationship. in some cases it is faded quickly and some lasted long.
Author andy2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 Look at it another way. If someone doesn't appreciate you and needs to break up to realize what they've lost, they're not the most reliable person to be with, in the first place. Well said TBF. reliability is one of they key pillars of solid relationship. ones it fall then it is almost impossible to make as it was before without destructing the whole building.
bluewolf17 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Just to be clear-there was no "other person" involved. I broke up with him when I was red hot angry. I didn't think it through. Yes-it's fair to say that doesn't make me reliable. But I would also say, it made me realize how wrong I was. How much I loved him. I no longer doubt that at all. It doesn't excuse my behavior, no-but Sometimes it takes a break to really step back and see.
nolanola Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I posted about this yesterday, but I had a similar experience. I dated a guy through high school and college and broke up with him a couple of times because I wanted my "freedom". I thought I needed to date around and "see what else was out there". I thought that my ex would always be there and thought we would end up together. I'm not proud of how I acted and I know how much I hurt him. After years of my back and forth, he moved on and married someone else. I was devastated and I can definitely say that I learned my lesson. I don't know your story, so I can't say what is going on with the woman in your life. So I don't know if she'll change her mind and sadly, that's something you can't control.
bluewolf17 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Nolana, I read your story about your ex in high school and college. That was me now, basically. I threatend to break up with my ex a lot. Then we would talk it out, but it was always me bringing up splitting. I thought I did it because the relationship was doomed. Now I see I did it as a bargaining tool. If I threated to dump him, he would always cry, say he was sorry, and make it up to me. How stupid, and selfish of me. So of course, this last time when I did it, he didn't want me back. I cried wolf. (hence the avater name). He got tired of my games, and probably will move on to a woman who doesn't do that. Now I have been on this site three months trying to fight the sadness. Sorry to hijack the post, but your comment about that situation just got to me. I learned my lesson, for sure.
Charmaine_Champagne Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 just wondering once you ladies 'realized' what did you do?.. did u contact your ex and try to win them back or just accept it was too late/that they'd moved on and not try to contact them? to answer the original question i think if you come out of a long term relationship and jump straight into a new 1 (perhaps rebound) it doesn't take that long to realize. the problem is the person may not know what to do about it, they may fear it is too late i'm just wondering is there anything the dumpee can do to influence the person, to make them realize- will NC do that? or is it out of our control? that the person will come to their own realization without any imput from us, no matter what we do.. in my situation i worry my 100 days of NC will put my ex off trying to win me back even though he prob has realized his mistake but he may now feel so much time has passed that i am out of reach.
Author andy2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Posted May 29, 2009 just wondering once you ladies 'realized' what did you do?.. did u contact your ex and try to win them back or just accept it was too late/that they'd moved on and not try to contact them? One of my female friend told me that whatever happens XGF will contact to see if any chance remains. Girls can not forget their crush. They are too sensitive on this specially girls. it doesn't take that long to realize. the problem is the person may not know what to do about it, they may fear it is too late I think so i'm just wondering is there anything the dumpee can do to influence the person, to make them realize- will NC do that? or is it out of our control? that the person will come to their own realization without any imput from us, no matter what we do.. in my situation i worry my 100 days of NC will put my ex off trying to win me back even though he prob has realized his mistake but he may now feel so much time has passed that i am out of reach. NC is the best approach.
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