rya794 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Not that I'm ready to start dating again, but does anyone have any advice for avoiding potential cheaters before getting too attached to them?
angie2443 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Not that I'm ready to start dating again, but does anyone have any advice for avoiding potential cheaters before getting too attached to them? While I don't think any relationship is ammune to cheating, I do think that certain personality traits are more likely to lead to cheating while certain traits keep a relationship stable. Look for someone who is matture. Look for someone who has good relationship bounderies. For example, someone who works out their relationshiop problems with their partners as opposed to someone who tells the problems to their friends. Do not hook up with a narcisist, someone who needs a lot of outside validation. Make sure your partner respects you and is respectful to others. I can't think of anymore now. I hope this helps.
Woggle Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 There is no way to 100% prevent but have the strength to end the relationship right there when they do betray you. Also look for people who have a sense of accountability and know how to thrive in a healthy relationship.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Not that I'm ready to start dating again, but does anyone have any advice for avoiding potential cheaters before getting too attached to them? Well, its near impossible to avoid all cheaters, as most of them are cunning...and really, how are you going to know anyway. all you can do is lessen the chance that you will end up with one by doing such things as: don't date a club hopper, or barfly (and couldn't tell if you were a man or woman, so speaking from THIS man's perspective) don't date women with one of those tatoos across the small of her back right above her ass:rolleyes: don't date women that wear thongs, especially the ones that let the thong show above her jeans:rolleyes: don't date women that listen to rap music now of course the upper three are a bit debatable, but in my experience, there is more truth there than not.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Do not hook up with a narcisist, someone who needs a lot of outside validation. Oh yes, this one for sure. Someone that need the validation and flirts like nobody's business is one to stay away from for sure!!!
mark982 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 if always watched the way they act in a room(or bar)full of people. see how she acts and carrys him/her self.
Trialbyfire Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 While I don't think any relationship is ammune to cheating, I do think that certain personality traits are more likely to lead to cheating while certain traits keep a relationship stable. Look for someone who is matture. Look for someone who has good relationship bounderies. For example, someone who works out their relationshiop problems with their partners as opposed to someone who tells the problems to their friends. Do not hook up with a narcisist, someone who needs a lot of outside validation. Make sure your partner respects you and is respectful to others. I can't think of anymore now. I hope this helps.I agree with most of your list except the bolded text. Sometimes it's worthwhile to vent, as long as you continue working out your problems. It's when someone doesn't work towards resolution and finds resolution, that resentments build. I will add a couple more indicators: Avoid risk-taking personalities, if in combination with selfishness and a need for A LOT of external validation. A little external validation is healthy. A LOT points towards low self-esteem, thus the need to be externally fueled.
lkjh Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 I think it is harder for girls to avoid men who may cheat but if you are looking for a honorable girl then these can be a start: 1) Look for someone who values sex: girls who have a lot of partners take sex less serious. 2) look for girls from a good family background 3) look for girls who associate themselves with religion, yes non-religious people can stay faithful but religion gives you faith and something to believe in 4) stay away from naive girls who have lots of guy friends The same applies for women looking for men but they have it harder. Society tends to give us guys more room to mess around
You'reasian Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Not that I'm ready to start dating again, but does anyone have any advice for avoiding potential cheaters before getting too attached to them? Make sure you know what you want. All too often, when women don't know what they want in a relationship - it leaves the door open - to open relationships. And we guys can and will date several women. You've got to catch the man you want . Give him a reason to stay with you over the weekend and not be in environments that might sway him - but give him enough freedom to be with his buddies. Master that and you're set.
Trialbyfire Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Make sure you know what you want. All too often, when women don't know what they want in a relationship - it leaves the door open - to open relationships. And we guys can and will date several women. You've got to catch the man you want . Give him a reason to stay with you over the weekend and not be in environments that might sway him - but give him enough freedom to be with his buddies. Master that and you're set.What you're suggesting, is incredibly self-defeating. No one is "THE PRIZE" within a mature, committed relationship. The two of you should want to be in a relationship with each other v. someone proving themselves to the other.
You'reasian Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 What you're suggesting, is incredibly self-defeating. No one is "THE PRIZE" within a mature, committed relationship. The two of you should want to be in a relationship with each other v. someone proving themselves to the other. I agree, but not every relationship we get into is mature or committed.
Trialbyfire Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 I agree' date=' but not every relationship we get into is mature or committed.[/quote']Take note that the OP wants to avoid cheaters before becoming too attached. This tells me the OP is looking for something a little more serious.
You'reasian Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Take note that the OP wants to avoid cheaters before becoming too attached. This tells me the OP is looking for something a little more serious. Chemistry and attraction causes us to be attached. Its almost an unstopable force. One could try to re-program what it is that they are attracted to otherwise they will chose what that is and go for it 100% - regardless if they are a loyal partner (or not). A woman (or person) would have to seek traits of those whom are loyal and committed AND have all the necessary chemistry. Loyalty and commitment scare people in dating environments and aren't hot, sexy features.
Trialbyfire Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Chemistry and attraction causes us to be attached. Its almost an unstopable force. One could try to re-program what it is that they are attracted to otherwise they will chose what that is and go for it 100% - regardless if they are a loyal partner (or not). A woman (or person) would have to seek traits of those whom are loyal and committed AND have all the necessary chemistry. Loyalty and commitment scare people in dating environments and aren't hot, sexy features.Only if you lack self-preservation instincts or are overwhelmingly crotch-driven. A little willpower goes a long way and is EASY to do, if you're a rational thinker. I don't personally know if the OP is female or male, so gender doesn't come into this equation.
Woggle Posted May 29, 2009 Posted May 29, 2009 Also men need to avoid women with feminist views. When she cheats on you and you get mad she will act like the victim and give you a lecture about how her grandfather cheated on her grandmother and this is the payback you must accept.
You'reasian Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Only if you lack self-preservation instincts or are overwhelmingly crotch-driven. A little willpower goes a long way and is EASY to do, if you're a rational thinker. Rational thinking helps sort information and make better decisions but dating is still an emotion-driven activity, not necessarily crotch-driven. Preferences, instincts, emotions and chemistry come into play in the dating realm. Hearts don't flutter over loyalty, self-sacrifice, generosity, self-discipline etc. Hearts flutter over the easy things - humor, basic connections, shared interests, instant attraction. I don't believe this is right or wrong, it is what it is.
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