joemax Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Continuing onto my thread from the 'Breaking up' forum, I decided to move this to here following my good friend Ronni's advice. I won't write the whole story here, but if you wana view my other thread it's called 'Thought I knew what I want'. Anyways, onto some sad stuff. To make it short, I just broke up a couple of hours ago with my girlfriend of two and a half years. Following much inner debate and advice from LS members, I've decided it was the right thing to do, at least right now. I'm just not ready to be in a relationship. I don't know myself well enough to be able to give myself 100% to someone else. I know it's the right thing to do, but it still hurts SO much. It's painful thinking about it. I feel like I'm losing my best friend. She cried, I cried. She said she understood. I told her I viewed us as living happily together in the future, but not now. She said that would be the 'end' she wanted. I told her nothing is written in stone, but I told her not to think about me for now. She cried some more. She said it's hard to erase everything we had together. She said it'd probably take her more than a year. I told her to be strong, 'cause I know she can be. Why does the right thing have to hurt so much? I wana be wrong. I don't wana be feeling this way. Nothing makes sense right now. It's raining cats and dogs outside too.
Soul Bear Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 i think you should be thinking really hard about what you want to do.. Its all very well taking advice from people you have never met online, but their opinions should not be the deciding factor in whether or not you end it with this girl who you quite obviously love, and she quite obviously loves you. You say yourself, 'i wanna be wrong'....if your not so sure that you should be ending this the for fks sake dont do it. Sorry, but by reading your post If i was your ex i would be gutted. You shouldnt be online deciding if you should dump someone. You should decide that ONLY for yourself. Then come online to cope with it.
huck Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Hi Joe.. Had a brief look at your other post (think it would take all night to read that one !!).. From what I read - you feel too young too settle down and want to meet new girls etc - sorry if thats wrong. Agree with Soulbear - only you can tell yourself if you've done the right thing - and you need to be 100% sure in your mind.. The grass isnt always greener thou mate - you may regret your decision a few months down the line and find out your ex has moved on with someone else?? If you are having second thoughts - maybe dont leave it too long to rectify it...
Soul Bear Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Shouldn't have gave false hope. Agree. If you have no intention of getting back with her now, then dont give her hope for the future. Its holding her back
Author joemax Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 I know. All I told her was what I think, which is that I've seen myself end up with her in the future. But I told her to live her life by herself right now. I told her SHE is the only person that can make HER happy. It just sucks so much. I'm gona have no one to go shopping with, watch movies with when my friends are busy, talk to about all my problems. This is what becoming a mature adult is, I guess.
Ronni_W Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Well...NO! Sitting around feeling all sorry for yourself and regretting your own choices and decisions is NOT a "mature adult" way to act, Joe. You broke up with her because you'd been feeling stifled and stuck, in that relationship, for almost a year. You are now free to do whatever ELSE you've been wanting to do that you couldn't do because you were in relationship with her. Mature and adult would be to start getting clearer about, and following, your OTHER dreams and goals; to learn more about who you are; what you really want out of Life, and also what you don't want. You can, if you decide and choose, use this time for your personal growth and development, yes?
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