Lost_love Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Tomorrow is going to be the first day of NC with my best friend who is also the person I am completely in love with. I caught her with her new BF and it killed me inside. I told her very calmy that I was not mad nor did I hate her or anything that I think she was expecting. I told her I needed space to get over her. Finally I am going to do my best to think about me and less about the person I love. It sucks because I am normally very selfless and always put her needs ahead of my own. I guess its the start of a new era. I am gonna use this as my personal journal of what I expect to be very much hell for the first couple of weeks. Any suggestions?
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Don't break NC. That's the best advice I can give you. You're about to embark on a horrible trip of intense negative emotions. You're going to be tempted to do things that you wouldn't normally do or even consider doing. Don't do anything too drastic or bad for you. Let yourself feel the pain you need to feel, cry if you have to, scream if you have to, vent if you have to. But don't hurt yourself or put yourself at risk of anything. Always keep in mind, THIS WILL PASS. I can't reassure too much, otherwise you start believing it less and less for some odd reason I still don't understand. At least that's what happened to me at first. Take it one day at a time, one MINUTE at a time if you have to. But you will get through this, I promise. There will be unbearable moments, but just live through it. My mistake was reading too much into this. People adviced me to do things but there were just moments where I was completely incapable. During these moments where you feel you honestly can't do anything and all you feel like doing is falling off the face of the earth, live through it. Don't focus on anything but just getting through that moment. These are only unbearable moments, though. Don't use this little piece of advice for every single time you feel even the least bit negative. Only during those very bad moments. After a couple of weeks, or however long it takes you, try picking yourself up. Some people just sit there and let themselves rot. This isn't good. Yes, allow yourself to feel the pain WHEN YOU HAVE TO, and don't push yourself too hard. But once those horrid times are over, try your hardest to get up. This is going to be such a hard journey, but be strong and you'll get there. You'll be such a better person in the end, and much stronger and experienced. Do not break NC. I repeat.... Do not break NC. You will regret it. Focus on yourself. I, too, am very selfless and doing this has been so hard for me. But we have to do this if we want to be the best we can be in the future. Be strong!
wow123 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Agreed. Do not break no contact. I did it once and went back to day 1 of the break up. It has been weeks now and I am still hurting but definitely feel alot better then I did day 1. Hang in there.
LadyV Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Agreed. Do not break no contact. I did it once and went back to day 1 of the break up. It has been weeks now and I am still hurting but definitely feel alot better then I did day 1. Hang in there. I have to agree with everyone here..DO NOT BREAK NC!!!! I am on day 23, and it does get easier with time. My XBF left a card for me wedged in my front door for my graduation from college. This, after almost 3 weeks of NC...I told him when I initiated it, to leave me alone...blocked EVERYTHING...It's hard, but had to be done...I need time to heal...You need time to heal too! Stick to it...it's so true what they say here, if you break NC, it is like going back to square or in this case, day 1!!! Be strong!
Author Lost_love Posted May 28, 2009 Author Posted May 28, 2009 Well I sucked at the no contact today. I didn't even last an hour before I was texting her. She did her part by ignoring the first couple of txts before she responded and we talked a little. I guess I just wanted her to know that I wasnt mad at her. I wanted her to also know how much she meant to me and how badly I wanted her to be happy. I just cant sacarfice myself for her anymore. I am hoping to try the NC tomorrow. Its just so hard not talking to somone that I have grown acustom to talking to everyday. Its so hard because she really is my best friend too. I hate having these feelings.
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