start-fresh Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 As the title suggests, what do you prefer and why? I'm not intending this to be another bad boy/nice guy debate either as I think betas don't necessarily have to be nice guys and vice versa (although that is often the case). Also do you consider yourself more of an alpha or beta female?
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 ALPHA MALE!! This probably makes me sound like a b****, but I'm really not into emotional guys, and I think it's a huge turn off especially when a guy is more emotional than I am. I also just think this whole metro thing has gone too far. I don't want a girly man. For example...what happened to the days when a guy's grooming regime consisted of a s*** and shave? I got really go on and on and on about this topic Not really sure if I'm alpha or beta...probably a mix of the two....never thought about it before.
Sam Spade Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Oh, not again with the overplayed and useless stereotype. Somebody in an old thread on the same topic made a very good point, which is that until someone is tested what is alpha is a moot point. Who is more alpha - the loud obnoxious stock broker type dude, or Gandhi? Well, there is a chance that the loud dude can't tolerate the smallest discomfort and would stomp on others to avoid it, while the flimsy Gandhi basicaly calmly stared down the most powerful empire at the time. I know a woman who refers to herself as an alpha, and guess what: she's the most annoying, unpleasant, loud, human being I've ever seen. I don't know if I'm alpha, and I don't care. People getting to know me are usually very unsure about what to think. I can be emotionally sensitive, and I can be unruffled in troubling circumstances, and I don't have to compromise either in just to live up to MAXIM (or Cosmo) imagery.
Author start-fresh Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Good question. What are you? Well, I'm a primarily a beta male but I'm also not emo. I think like everything else, it's not completely cut and dry. The reason I ask is it's always preached that confidence is foremost in attracting women. True, but more often than not people assume confidence=alpha qualities when there's really lots of other ways true confidence is shown.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 TBH, I don't understand the difference between the two. Could you give me some examples?
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Oh, I don't think confidence is an alpha/beta question. To be honest, when someone says "beta male" I instantly think metro - and for me the biggest part of that, and the biggest turn off, is the grooming thing. Sorry, but I don't wanna date a guy that takes as long or longer than me to get ready.
Author start-fresh Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Oh, not again with the overplayed and useless stereotype. Somebody in an old thread on the same topic made a very good point, which is that until someone is tested what is alpha is a moot point. Who is more alpha - the loud obnoxious stock broker type dude, or Gandhi? Well, there is a chance that the loud dude can't tolerate the smallest discomfort and would stomp on others to avoid it, while the flimsy Gandhi basicaly calmly stared down the most powerful empire at the time. I know a woman who refers to herself as an alpha, and guess what: she's the most annoying, unpleasant, loud, human being I've ever seen. I don't know if I'm alpha, and I don't care. People getting to know me are usually very unsure about what to think. I can be emotionally sensitive, and I can be unruffled in troubling circumstances, and I don't have to compromise either in just to live up to MAXIM (or Cosmo) imagery. I think you can be both an alpha or beta type person depending on the situation. The question is, in a given situation, is a more dominant personality always more attractive because that guy is perceived to have more worth?
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Examples of beta male characteristics: blatantly checking out every hot girl you see, being antagonistic with other men and women, letting people waste your time with stuff you're not interested in, always looking for approval and reassurance, always trying to dominate... Alpha is the opposite.
Author start-fresh Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 TBH, I don't understand the difference between the two. Could you give me some examples? I'm mainly thinking of alpha as someone more likely to dominate a conversation, or less likely to yield to another guys opinion. Does that make any sense?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Examples of beta male characteristics: blatantly checking out every hot girl you see, being antagonistic with other men and women, letting people waste your time with stuff you're not interested in, always looking for approval and reassurance, always trying to dominate... Alpha is the opposite. I'm mainly thinking of alpha as someone more likely to dominate a conversation, or less likely to yield to another guys opinion. Does that make any sense? They sound like the same thing. LOL
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 So, in conversation. Let's say it's a really boring convo and totally irrelevant - it's the first date and the chick is yammering on and on about I don't know, how her dog always has to find the perfect place to drop a deuce. A beta characteristic is to sit there and take it. An alpha male would let her know, either by leading the conversation away from that topic, or by his body language that he doesn't wanna have a 20 min discussion about her dog's poop.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I'm curious...where do you guys get this stuff? I'm not calling BS, I've just never heard of these things. Is there somebody leading the way (book-wise) with this stereotype? I feel totally ignorant, but I seriously don't hear this kind of talk anywhere but on this board. LOL
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I'm curious...where do you guys get this stuff? I'm not calling BS, I've just never heard of these things. Is there somebody leading the way (book-wise) with this stereotype? I feel totally ignorant, but I seriously don't hear this kind of talk anywhere but on this board. LOL Oh hmm...I'm actually not sure...? Maybe it's a generational thing? I'm new to this site, so I actually haven't checked out any of the other threads on this topic. It's just something that has been part of pop culture for me. My friends and I don't have discussions about this, but it's definitely very normal for someone to make a comment like, "I'm not going to let him alpha me in my own house," or to point out alphas and betas in a bar to other girl friends. I do know that there have been several books that talk about this stuff, or at least refer to it, including The Game by Neil Strauss, and that spin off show from his book with Mystery that was on MTV or VH1 or something. That's the only example I can come up with off the top of my head.
Author start-fresh Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 I'm curious...where do you guys get this stuff? I'm not calling BS, I've just never heard of these things. Is there somebody leading the way (book-wise) with this stereotype? I feel totally ignorant, but I seriously don't hear this kind of talk anywhere but on this board. LOL :lmao::lmao: Okay, this thread was kind of a disaster but this was what I was trying to get at: I think you can be both an alpha or beta type person depending on the situation. The question is, in a given situation, is a more dominant personality always more attractive because that guy is perceived to have more worth?
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I think a lot of these stereotypes are a compilation of unattractive behaviors that several girls have shared with each other and have agreed that anyone displaying those behaviors are beta males and should be avoided like the plague. Damn that's a long sentence. Don't feel like trying to section it off.
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I think a lot of these stereotypes are a compilation of unattractive behaviors that several girls have shared with each other and have agreed that anyone displaying those behaviors are beta males and should be avoided like the plague. I'm not going to deconstruct all of that either, just say that I disagree with you. Alpha and beta males are stereotypes, sure. But acting alpha or beta is not a stereotype. Annnd many girls like beta characteristics...generally because then they're in control.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I didn't mean to threadjack, Amistad, I just didn't know how to answer the question. Sorry 'bout that. I guess the best way I can answer it (and you can translate it to alpha/beta) is that I like a guy that is certain enough in his own worth that he isn't constantly trying to prove it. He doesn't walk all over people, but also doesn't let people walk over him. I like a guy that's IN control, but NOT controlling. Make sense? LOL
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Examples of beta male characteristics: .... always trying to dominate... Annnd many girls like beta characteristics...generally because then they're in control. Those are two somewhat contradictory statements. Which is it?
spiracles Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 The question is, in a given situation, is a more dominant personality always more attractive because that guy is perceived to have more worth? dude, it's not about domination. suppose i didn't know where i was going, metaphorically. if i came across some chill guy who seemed to know what's up, i would probably follow his lead to get out of whatever proverbial woods my dumb *** happened to wander into. it's the rational thing to do. the guy is perceived to have more worth because he has his **** together, and people follow him because if the **** gets hairy, he has their back, so to speak. i'm not a chick, so feel free to discount my response, but i just had to throw that in there. now, if i said the hallmark of a true "alpha-male" was his lack of concern with his "alpha-male"-ness, would you all stop making these threads?
tinklebell Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I think when it's the right person, you won't be pigeon-holing it as to whether he's alpha or beta. Reality aside and answering the OP's question, I would prefer an alpha male.
BlueEyedGirl Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I like alpha males because they complement me better. I especially like a guy who is dominant in the bedroom
cappygirl26 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I would describe alpha males and beta males as who's more dominate in a relationship. Alpha males usually wear the pants and have very strong personalities, whereas beta males more sensitive and emotional and are more go-with-the-flow. They also let women lead most of the time. Usually I like beta males because I'm a pretty strong personality, but I admire both types of guys, really, for different things.
gypsy_nicky Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 alpha male vs beta male = popular terms used to sell PUA paraphernalia. PUA= Geeks with techniques
Recommended Posts