Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Met on Sat. night through mutual friends. Hit it off I guess. He asked for phone and wanted to take me out this coming weekend so I'm like "sure." This guy is 45 years old. So I get a few friendly texts yesterday about how nice it was to meet me and how he was looking forward to going out. Today he texts and says he made reservations for this weekend at a nice restaurant at 7 for us. So far so good. So then this evening I get a text from him which states: hope u kicked back side tonight....wish I was caressing yours... Of course I'm like "wth?" But didn't respond. So he then texts "I'm sorry, that was meant for someone else. My sincerest apologies." So I'm thinking I'm now totally turned off and not interested. Would you still go out with this guy? I'm thinking I'm not responding to him again and never going out for sure.
Trimmer Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Well, if it was for you and he was just covering, then it was too much, too soon. If it wasn't for you and was meant for someone else, then that kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? Can't really see a way out of that one. Either way, he dropped a big dookie right where he was planning to eat... (Incidentally, how old are you? You pointed out that he's 45. Is that like: "Ewww, he's 45..." or "He's 45, around my age..." or what?)
Author Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 His age isn't a problem for me, I am late 30's aged. It is his maturity level for his age I was questioning.....so I wasn't doing an "eww, 45" or anything like that, just a "does this guy seem 45 to you to pull a stunt like that?" lol But the text about the reservation to the restaurant was for me, because we had talked about this particular place because we wanted to try it as neither of us had dined there before, and that he was going to be in my area this Saturday. The text after about caressing some other chick's backside wasn't meant for me, for someone else, and that is what he was apologizing about. Thanks for the tip, I think I'll pass on this one and go with your advice.
tkgirl Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Well, if it was for you and he was just covering, then it was too much, too soon. If it wasn't for you and was meant for someone else, then that kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? Can't really see a way out of that one. Either way, he dropped a big dookie right where he was planning to eat... (Incidentally, how old are you? You pointed out that he's 45. Is that like: "Ewww, he's 45..." or "He's 45, around my age..." or what?) LMAO!!! yep, I would definitely be turned off and would not go out with him. Just tell him something else came up... and maybe add "now you can check out my backside.. and kiss it while you're at it!" er... maybe not, he might like that!
sugarmomma Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 If it wasn't meant for you that means he has no problem dating multiple people, one whom he may be having sex with. If you go out with him it would be very awkward unless you don't really like him, then you could make light of the situation. If you think he'll be ok as a friend, by all means go out. If you like him in a special way, forget about him.
Author Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Thanks, sugarmomma. I hadn't ascertained if I felt a "spark" or not. The misfired text totally turned me off, though. If he was seeing some other woman and having sex with her, it seems like a stupid mistake to text me her text accidentally. I'm almost thinking he sent it on purpose to test if I am into a casual thing with him....I think I'll pass.
loveslife Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Ewww that's just kinda gross. I feel sorry for the girl he's intimately involved with. Wonder if she knows he's seeing other people.
Author Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Good point, Loveslife. I wouldn't want to be treated like that if I were sleeping with him. Thanks, you guys!!!
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Eww. That's kinda skeezy. I mean, before exclusivity, I can understand a guy multi-dating. But I sure as hell don't want to hear/read their sex talk. Gross. Man, he is not smooth AT ALL. He so could have turned that around.
Author Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Yes, I'm seriously going to just not respond. I had just responded briefly to his text regarding the restaurant reservation (basically stated "that sounds great, thanks.) Then I got that text, so luckily I have just ignored and will continue to do so.
dressing up Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Since you guys just met and are definitely not exclusive, it's not such a big problem that he may be seeing other people. But the tone of that message (that's meant for someone else) is offputting and definitely from someone aged 45. He should also have had the sense to at least send it to the right person. I may even think he's seeing so many other people that he couldn't get the names right. I wouldn't meet up with him again. But that's just my opinion.
samboy01 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I doubt that it was for someone else. He probably sent you the message but then when you didn't respond he's like damn what did I do, and he tried to cover up (and made things worse). lol
DarkestDreams Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I doubt that it was for someone else. He probably sent you the message but then when you didn't respond he's like damn what did I do, and he tried to cover up (and made things worse). lol Yeap, that's a more likely scenario. He screwed up, he panicked, then made it even worse. I don't know, he sounds awkward at best..and for his age, it's a bit of a red flag, but hey, neither of us is perfect. I'm going to disagree with everyone else and say go for it! Go to dinner, feel him out and see if there's anything there. Give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps? Feel free to say anytime during dinner "So I got that text about you caressing my back. What's up with that?"
Author Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 No because he sent the text about the restaurant we had talked about in the afternoon and I responded fairly soon. Also if he's going to panic over not responding immediately to a text when i work in a professional field, then he's a weirdo idiot. Then when he responded that he had actually made reservations, I responded "sounded good" so it's not like he had anything to panic about. Plus he's not even calling me, just texting, and this guy is 45 (and super successful careerwise, I might add.) I'm going to pass - I have higher standards than that and he's clearly not THAT taken with me if he's cruising for sex elsewhere. If he can't send a text correctly, and take the effort to do that right, or even call instead of the juvenile texts to set up a date, forget it. Yeap, that's a more likely scenario. He screwed up, he panicked, then made it even worse. I don't know, he sounds awkward at best..and for his age, it's a bit of a red flag, but hey, neither of us is perfect. I'm going to disagree with everyone else and say go for it! Go to dinner, feel him out and see if there's anything there. Give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps? Feel free to say anytime during dinner "So I got that text about you caressing my back. What's up with that?"
cappygirl26 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 he's clearly not THAT taken with me if he's cruising for sex elsewhere. Huh? Maybe he met this woman before you. You guys JUST met. If the only reason you're not going to see him is because you think he's not that into you because he might be sleeping with another woman, I'd say you'd be missing out. Some guys are just a lot more casual about the women they see. Did you expect his world to stop when he met you? He barely even knows you. But if you're okay with getting to know him and then eventually going from casual to more, then you can put the expectations of exclusiveness on him.
tkgirl Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 No because he sent the text about the restaurant we had talked about in the afternoon and I responded fairly soon. Also if he's going to panic over not responding immediately to a text when i work in a professional field, then he's a weirdo idiot. Then when he responded that he had actually made reservations, I responded "sounded good" so it's not like he had anything to panic about. Plus he's not even calling me, just texting, and this guy is 45 (and super successful careerwise, I might add.) I'm going to pass - I have higher standards than that and he's clearly not THAT taken with me if he's cruising for sex elsewhere. If he can't send a text correctly, and take the effort to do that right, or even call instead of the juvenile texts to set up a date, forget it. good call... he sounds like he's just a little "too casual" for your taste, with the texting thing too. Go with your gut on this one... he's shown what he's about already... you dodged a huge bullet I think.
carhill Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Next time, respond only to requests for dates via phone, as in a voice talking with you. Much more easily correctly directed for hugely successful 45yo males who act like teenagers
paddington bear Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I went on a blind date once with a guy, spent a couple of hours in his company then left. 5 minutes after leaving he sent a text: him: Can I say something? me: as long as it's something nice. him: I would like to touch them, would you like that? He probably thought it was sexy and flirty, I found it sleazy and horrible.
clv0116 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Yeap, that's a more likely scenario. He screwed up, he panicked, then made it even worse. I don't know, he sounds awkward at best..and for his age, it's a bit of a red flag, but hey, neither of us is perfect. He sounds like he's socially awkward. If you can spend the time to determine whether he's a genuine clod or just socially inept, and if you can deal with dating someone who is that backwards then it might be worth pursuing.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I'd be turned off too and I would also suspect game playing. I wouldn't want to go out with him.
Author Cherished Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Thanks all for the comments. All opinions are appreciated. I received another text today which stated that the reservations had been confirmed and he's looking forward to Saturday. I'm not responding.
sumdude Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Thanks all for the comments. All opinions are appreciated. I received another text today which stated that the reservations had been confirmed and he's looking forward to Saturday. I'm not responding. On the one hand the guy made a moron of himself and probably isn't owrth your time.. On the other hand responding by not ignoring isn't exactly the most mature way to handle it on your end either. You let him know you're not interested and that's that.
amaysngrace Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I guess I'm not as uptight as the rest of you all are because I don't think there is enough information. Maybe he is seeing someone casually for sex...so what? He's allowed. Maybe they have an open relationship. He made dinner reservations so he is taking you someplace nice. He made a mistake or maybe it was intentional. Did you do anything that deserved a pat on the back the day he sent that message? If you did and he remembered it that would show he's attentive. If not then it was a mistake. But I think writing this guy off so soon is a rush to judgment because to me he sounds like maybe he could be fun.
DarkestDreams Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 It looks like you made up your mind and you don't want to go, OP. Fair enough. But I think it's common courtesy to cancel, instead of just ignoring him.
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