writergal Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Over the weekend, a male friend of mine invited me over to visit for a few hours. He's been married for several years and has children. We haven't seen each other in about 20 years. He found me online and we've been talking on the phone and emailing for the past couple of weeks. When he initially invited me, he told me his wife left with their children to the cabin for the weekend. I immediately suggested we meet for lunch or dinner when his wife is available. I told him I would feel awkward visiting him if his wife isn't there, or if he hadn't asked her first if I could visit while she was away with the children. He assured me it would be fine. I again said no, that I'd feel more comfortable if his wife knew. He told me to wait, then he stepped away from his phone for a few minutes, and came back. He told me it was fine and I didn't ask. So, I drove out to his home and we caught up for a couple of hours. The whole time I was there, he was a complete gentleman and didn't flirt or try anything with me. However, I asked him about stepping away from the phone - if that was when he asked his wife. He said no, he stepped away to use the bathroom, and that he hadn't told his wife I was coming to visit. This made me really uncomfortable. I asked him why he would keep me a secret from her since we've known each other since childhood, but had lost touch after highschool until recently when he found me online and contacted me. He didn't really answer my question when I asked him. I told him that I felt weird and didn't want to cause any problems and he said that everything would be fine. I suggested he and his wife and I go out for dinner. He said that would be fun. But I still wonder why he would keep me a secret? Was it because he was nervous about seeing me again after 20 years had passed? Or was it because he doesn't see me as an important person in his life, even though he was the one to contact me after all these years. Of course I'd thought about him off and on over the past 20 years. But I never pursued trying to find him. He was an important person to me 20 years ago but now I'm not sure where he would fit in since we both took completely different paths. It still bothers me that he kept my visit a secret from his wife. I mean, why would he do that? Don't you think that's strange? He never made a pass at me or verbally said anything that would lead me to believe he found me attactive or anything like that. So I have no idea what to think.
tanbark813 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 My guess would be one of the following: 1. His wife is irrationally jealous, he's not man enough to stand up to her, and he wanted to be able to see you but avoid any arguments. 2. He wants to bang you.
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