Change543 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So me and my ex have been broken up for about a month and a half. We dated for 4 years. She cheated on me and went to the same dude a week later. Personally, i think that is one of thee most selfish things to do. I have done NC for the past 2 weeks, it has helped but I constantly still think about her. I know it is the best to move on and I don't deserve someone who has cheated on me, but its so hard to not think about it when she is with someone else. I go to the gym daily, hang out with my friends and stay very active. This hasn't kept her outta my mind. I hate the fact that I love her, and was extremely hurt. The twist here also is that she believes if we r meant to be then we will b together. She thinks we will be back together in the future, giving me in my head false hope of something that shouldn't be. I don't want her back, but the idea always is in my head!! Does anyone have similar experiences? And how long did it take for your ex to get outta your head and what helped. I just want all these pain to leave me.....now...lol
Author Change543 Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Woops title is suppose to say Need Advice/personal experiences/reinforcement
tinke Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Change, it is still very fresh, so it is normal to be hurting, it shows you are human. The longer you stay NC (to heal, not for any other motive), the easier it will become. Not to say that you will magically forget about her, but it will become easier to continue on knowing you DO deserve better. She has crossed the line when she cheated, if she has that disrespect for the relationship, what would stop it from happening again? Deep in your heart, do you believe you can trust her? I find it very selfish of her to cheat, break up, go with the other guy, and THEN say that you were meant to be together and will be in time. What? Love does not hurt the other person so causually and expect it to pick up later. I do hope you continue to work on yourself and try to stay NC, with time you may see things in a different light. The other guy really didn't win, she showed some nasty colors.
EmperorR Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 So me and my ex have been broken up for about a month and a half. We dated for 4 years. She cheated on me and went to the same dude a week later. Personally, i think that is one of thee most selfish things to do. I have done NC for the past 2 weeks, it has helped but I constantly still think about her. I know it is the best to move on and I don't deserve someone who has cheated on me, but its so hard to not think about it when she is with someone else. I go to the gym daily, hang out with my friends and stay very active. This hasn't kept her outta my mind. I hate the fact that I love her, and was extremely hurt. The twist here also is that she believes if we r meant to be then we will b together. She thinks we will be back together in the future, giving me in my head false hope of something that shouldn't be. I don't want her back, but the idea always is in my head!! Does anyone have similar experiences? And how long did it take for your ex to get outta your head and what helped. I just want all these pain to leave me.....now...lol Sadly raises hands, ex fiance cheated on me dumped me and ran off wiht another guy a week later. It took me like 8 months to totally flush her out of my system, there is no frame, every day I still think about her but there is no love or urge to contact, the pain sucks and it takes time to get rid of it, but you will never forget trust me, it will be like if you broke arm as a kid you will never forget breakign your arm but the pain is gone.
lora22 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I feel for ya Reading this reminded me of an ex from several years ago. We dated my freshman year of college, he was my first real love...I'd had boyfriends before, but hadn't fallen so hard for a guy til I fell for this guy. Long story short, we got along great, never fought, blah blah blah...I was totally blindsided when he dumped me. Found out very shortly afterward that he was already seeing someone else, and probably had been seeing her before we even broke up, then also found out he had cheated on me when we were together - and I had nooo idea any of this was going on. I was a mess. And that is a huge understatement. The absolute worst thing I did was not immediately cut off all contact with him - all I did was prolong the devastation I was feeling, and allow him to encourage me to think we still had a shot together in the future. My friends insisted I block him on AIM, etc., and I finally did. After several months, I thought I was OK, starting to get over him, move on, etc., so I unblocked him, and he immediately imed me and started up with apologies, flirting, and so on, again making me think that we could make it work...when in fact, he wasn't interested at all (he cheated), and only couldn't stand that I had "rejected" him by blocking him. It is so hard to do, and it totally sucks, but I know you can be strong and just cut that cheater out of your life. Things will get better.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I am going through this as well. I think what's worst than being cheated on is being cheated on and then seeing the person you love go back to them. It's HORRIBLE. (It still hurts to even tell the story, so please appreciate it, lol ) My girlfriend and I were together since August 2006. In March of this year she told me she cheated on me, she said it was only one kiss and it was HE who kissed HER, and she didn't kiss back (November 2007). This seemed weird because if this happened to me, I would tell her without hesitation because if someone SPONTANEOUSLY kissed me, without me asking for it... I personally don't think it would be wrong. It would be like bitching at your girlfriend for getting raped. Of course, though, it still hurt simply because someone else had touched her in a way only I should have. Though I hoped this was it, deep down I knew it wasn't... and eventually after asking over and over again, I got it out of her. She said months after that, on February 2008 she started dating him, until she broke up with him in July 2008. WE WERE TOGETHER THIS WHOLE TIME. She had been dating this guy for 6 months while we were together, HALF A YEAR. I felt SO stupid for not suspecting it. And what's weird is I would see signs everywhere. And people laugh at me for it because they think it's stupid I find these things symbolic... but I saw his name everywhere. On restaurant signs, dry cleaning signs, etc. (for example, Blahblah's Dry Cleaning). It was creepy but she NEVER spoke about him so to be honest I never once suspected it, especially him. She never hinted it, nothing. She hid it perfectly. This completely tore me apart. And when I asked her stuff like, "When was the last time you spoke to him?" the answer to that question was two days before! I didn't break up with her, though. She was crying while admitting cheating, and I just loved her so much, I was hoping to God she really did regret it. Then a couple of weeks later we get in a big fight, a week or two after that she tells me that she hung out with him on the 30th, we had fought on the 29th. I asked her if it was revenge and even though she didn't directly say it, she hinted it enough, so I knew it was. Then on Saturday, April 25th, I was talking to her and she said it was a beautiful day and she wanted to hang out with her friends. I told her I didn't feel good and I needed someone to talk to. She told me she wanted and was going to hang out with her friends. I said, "Are you serious?" I couldn't believe it... here I was feeling like sh*t and she was going to easily go hang out wit her friends and leave me here. To my question she answered, "Yep." with the most careless tone. I said, "I can't do this anymore, I'm done. Bye." She got quiet and slowly said bye, I could tell she was shocked. Then the next day her sister texted me asking if we broke up I said yes, blah blah blah, I ended up finding out that he was over and that she had been hanging out with him a lot lately (we had only broken up the day before, so she had been hanging out with him while we were together). Her sister told me she (my girlfriend, now ex) likes him and that 'she's really happy when he's over'. Obviously, this killed me. The pain is overwhelming. You feel depressed, empty, lonely, worthless, hopeless, small, insignificant, used, everything in the book. It's the absolute worst feeling in the world and I want you to know you're not the only one going through this.
Author Change543 Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Change, it is still very fresh, so it is normal to be hurting, it shows you are human. I find it very selfish of her to cheat, break up, go with the other guy, and THEN say that you were meant to be together and will be in time. What? Love does not hurt the other person so causually and expect it to pick up later. We are only 20 and she in her head thinks she needs to date around. I saw signs before but I tried to keep positive and make sure everything was fine. She also lied to me a lot as i found out when we broke up and she continued to lie after when i asked for the truth. The hardest part of this all is that we were each other's first love. Now she claims she is changing her ways and is doing some faith **** and becoming a different person. I had a good laugh to myself, at least I learned to what not look for in a girl. Thanks for also sharing stories, posting here has made me feel better about things because I know i'm not alone in these ****ed up situations. Why can't people just be straight forward and not be so dam selfish...
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