How do you deal with these questions?

[nolanola]

After a bit of feeling up (15 days of NC), I'm feeling a bit down today. I have been dwelling quite a bit on the last conversation that I had with my ex. I had seen him at work and we had to spend a bit of time together working. We got to talking about general types of things (nothing too personal) and he seemed to be very keen on figuring out whether I am dating someone. I had mentioned that I had gotten sick after eating lasagna and key lime pie and he asked me who I was eating it with. He also made some comments about "the guy you're dating". Later in the conversation he told me that he broke up with the person he was seeing (don't know the details and sure as hell didn't ask).

Now, I'm not dating anyone at the moment, but I felt like I didn't want to tell him that. I certainly don't want to lie and pretend that I am dating someone, but how do you deal with these types of questions from your ex? Does this happen to other people?

I hope everyone else is having a better day... feel free to post about it if you are. I could use some cheering up.

[animalthing]

you're pretty much right to just ignore them and not answer them. when he gave you up, he also gave up the right to know anything about you. he's probably only trying to make himself feel better by hoping that you haven't moved on to anybody else. just my two cents.

[TaraMaiden]

nolanola....

My father is very sick. Mentally, and attitude-wise, he is very sharp, alert, cheerful and positive, but his body is giving up on him slowly, and his conditions are being managed, not cured.

My mother, his lifetime companion of 55 years, is doing everything in her power to look after him. But his time is less and less....

 

I refuse to be saddened by circumstances I have no control over.

 

I can rant, rave and rail against life, the injustice of it all, and how the medical fraternity seem to be shrugging their shoulders and saying they can do no more, because I simply do not believe this is the case.

 

But I am almost certainly incorrect.

 

We are always at odds with matters, because we wish them to be a certain way, the way we want them to be.

But things are the way they are, because that is how they happen to be.

 

Don't lie to your ex.

Tell him the truth.

Honesty makes all the difference.

It keeps your self respect.

you have nothing to hide.

What does it matter what he knows?

 

Tell him that you are not dating at present.

Whatever he does with that information is his concern and his problem.

you at least can look at yourself in the mirror with a clear conscience, and nothing to hide.

 

This is only my opinion.

But it is what I live by.

And I am inexpressibly happy with my days, whatever they might bring....

[nolanola]

TaraMaiden,

I'm sorry to hear about your father. I am very close with my father as my mother died when I was a child and I can't imagine what you are going through. My sincerest sympathies.

You are very right in what you say. I guess I feel a bit pathetic when I think that he has had a relationship (or maybe more than one?) since we've broken up and I haven't. It feels like he gets to "win", even though I know that is nuts to think of it that way. I don't want to lie and pretend that I've got some great social life going on, but (and I doubt I'm alone here) the idea of him being jealous somehow makes me feel better. I know deep down that it doesn't mean much, because if he wanted to get back together with me he would show some actions towards that end - BUT this doesn't stop these feelings.

I think today was just a down day for me. I can take solace in the fact that I didn't call or text him or drive by his house (all things I might have done in the past). I just dealt with my feelings.