Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Im feeling so mischevious!! So I just heard from a close aquaintence of me and my ex that she has indeed met someone else....no biggee...happens to most of us on here. Now for the drama- Apparently she emailed him saying that she was having feelings for him, but this guy has just got into a relationship with someone else and is in no way interested in my ex at all and was only trying to be a friend to her when I wasnt ( :[ I know, im a fool) . So the feelings are completely 1 sided.!!! LOL...talk about KARMA!! So she leaves a 4.5 year relationship with me to possibly be with someone she has a strong physical attraction to. I dont blame her, I distanced myself greatly form her just before we seperated. I didnt know what I wanted until she dropped the bomb. Anyway, she is still to find out that this guy is not interested in her. According to a mutual friend this will be a catalyst when she hears it from him.... Now for the fun part- HYPOTHETICALY, what are your predictions of the turn of events that will follow shortly, based on what you know about me, my ex, our situation and variable patterns that happen in situations similar. I have taken into acount that every 2 people are different and that I need to let go, but for fun I wouldnt mind hearing what you guys from your vast knowledge shared between you all will see unfolding in time to come. Maybe I can better prepare. P.S post ugly breakup- 1.5 months, day 5 NC and Im feeling OK!!
Author Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 This is good i guess...I dont think I could trust her again.... But then again, it is my fault as I distanced myself from her... Such a turmoil...
BCCA Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I think what youre looking for is someone to tell you 'she'll come running back', because that would probably feel like sweet revenge. I honestly dont think youre going to hear much from her, though. Im sure finding someone else to crush over made dumping you easier, but if I had to bet, I would think it was only a matter of time anyway. Women dont usually dump guys in a rash, spur of the moment kind of way. She was probably biding her time for a month or two before she actually did it. I think you should forget about her all together. She left you, her reasons for doing so aside, just accept it and move on.
samspade Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Don't beat yourself up over "distancing" yourself from her. If you did that, it meant your interest in her was plummeting, anyway. What's done is done. And HYPOTHETICALLY, you shouldn't even be keeping tabs on your ex, let alone predicting how she might get her heart broken or have to eat a slice of humble pie. Because even if that happens, it's not going to make YOU feel any better. Drama and revenge are colossal wastes of energy. If there is one true form of "revenge" that actually succeeds, it is you living your life and living it well. That means you stop checking our ex's box scores, stop contacting her, and eventually, stop caring about her. The last one takes time, but you have to implement the first two immediately.
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Apparently she emailed him saying that she was having feelings for him, but this guy has just got into a relationship with someone else and is in no way interested in my ex at all and was only trying to be a friend to her when I wasnt ( :[ I know, im a fool) . So the feelings are completely 1 sided.!!! LOL...talk about KARMA!! More importantly, ask yourself why she would pursue someone who's already previously committed. Most friends tell each other about their SOs. She must have had an inkling, if not more, that he was looking in another direction.
drummerprince81 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Soul Bear - at least this gives you something to hold onto! I wouldn't say hope, but perhaps your dignity. You know you have no reason to make any kind of contact with her now...just let her come to you and if she doesn't, then that really is her problem for being a fool, not yours. When you say you distance yourself, how do you mean? What is the worst thing you did in your last 4-6 weeks together? I've been thinking that I was doing the same, but only because of some of my ex's actions, and I wasn't doing it to harm her...
Author Soul Bear Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 DP, thats it exactly, My ex was acting weird and quiet, so i distanced myself from her, not knowing what was going on or what I wanted. Subsequently, she left. The worst thing I did was shout at her. Your right, I have no reason to speak with her. If anything, I just want to tell her exactly what I think of her. She told me she was leaving as she wanted to be on her own, then she said it was because of me and it was my fault, thats when I start thinking im a bad person. Then I find out that it is because of someone else she has a crush on, who was only being a friend to her and was never interested in her in that way at all and has recently got into a relationship with someone else he has been interested in for a long time. Im so angry today, I cant believe I got played like that after everything I have done and given that girl. All along I thought it was something I was doing, but it turns out that she has gone cookoo. I really dont see any form of friendship forming out of this at all. She had an emotional affair, that to me is as good as cheating. My last ex cheated on me with my best mate...that gave me some issues and I trusted my current ex with my heart and my feelings...what happened? She walked on me too! Im a typical Leo/Ox. Think that someone is crazy not to want to be with me for the rest of their life. Guess I have some issues I need to work on. This has all made things a bit clearer tho. I dont really want her back now. I just want her to know that I know about this other guy, and that she has broken every last bit of trust, heart and respect I held so dearly for her. Honestly, this is a bloody joke. AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!! Sorry guys, im venting. Trial by Fire, Samspade and BCCA. I agree with your comments, yes I was fishing dor some false hope, yes i should be concerent that she was chasing someone else.... Im not keeping tabs on her, but someone called me and thought I should know the story. Im glad they did tell me! I was beating myself up over it all and thinking I was a fool...instead I just got played for a fool. I need LS support now more than ever. Im so effing mad at her. ventventventventvent
drummerprince81 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Your right, I have no reason to speak with her. If anything, I just want to tell her exactly what I think of her. She told me she was leaving as she wanted to be on her own, then she said it was because of me and it was my fault, thats when I start thinking im a bad person. I didn't mean it in a way that if you did contact her you would be daft, I just meant that she has quite clearly been a doofus, and you now, have the upper hand, EVEN if it nevers comes to be used, and at least that could make you heal quicker. Being angry is good! I can't even get angry. I keep thinking I screwed everything up too and that I turned into a bad person but why - coz for 4, 5, 6 weeks I wasn't hugging, and kissing, and making as much fuss as I normally did. I know I played my part, but like you, because she distanced herself you did too, and if it wasn't for that, you perhaps never would have. Im not keeping tabs on her, but someone called me and thought I should know the story. Im glad they did tell me! I was beating myself up over it all and thinking I was a fool...instead I just got played for a fool. Whether or not you were played a fool, you are quite clearly not a fool. The only fool in your saga, and I'm sure you won't minding me disrespecting your ex, is her, and foolishness to be swayed by the greener grass. I think everyone gets to a stage when 'greener pastures' are considered and even if you perhaps did, you never acted on it, and by the sound of your good nature, you never would either. You played a very strong part in her life, and she pretty much ruined it.
Author Soul Bear Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Its a confusing situation....and i fear that i have not heard the last of it either yet.... That ol' greener grass thing is so true....
samspade Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Just be glad you're not still with this messed up chick! You dodged a bullet. Let some other poor sap put up with her!!
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