Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Im feeling so mischevious!! So I just heard from a close aquaintence of me and my ex that she has indeed met someone else....no biggee...happens to most of us on here. Now for the drama- Apparently she emailed him saying that she was having feelings for him, but this guy has just got into a relationship with someone else and is in no way interested in my ex at all and was only trying to be a friend to her when I wasnt ( :[ I know, im a fool) . So the feelings are completely 1 sided.!!! LOL...talk about KARMA!! So she leaves a 4.5 year relationship with me to possibly be with someone she has a strong physical attraction to. I dont blame her, I distanced myself greatly form her just before we seperated. I didnt know what I wanted until she dropped the bomb. Anyway, she is still to find out that this guy is not interested in her. According to a mutual friend this will be a catalyst when she hears it from him.... Now for the fun part- HYPOTHETICALY, what are your predictions of the turn of events that will follow shortly, based on what you know about me, my ex, our situation and variable patterns that happen in situations similar. I have taken into acount that every 2 people are different and that I need to let go, but for fun I wouldnt mind hearing what you guys from your vast knowledge shared between you all will see unfolding in time to come. Maybe I can better prepare. P.S post ugly breakup- 1.5 months, day 5 NC and Im feeling OK!!
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Any hypotheticals are irrelevant. Continue NC and healing. Technically, listening to the story about the ex and her erstwhile paramour was breaking NC. Total distraction of thought regarding the ex is the goal. Start over
Author Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 aaah Carhill How nice of you to drop in. Yes I guess your right about breaking NC. But remember I dont want to push this woman out of my life for good.... I should post this in the 2nd chance instead as it is not very helpul to people coping with a break up. If the mods wouldnt mind deleting it from here please.
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Nah, this is as good a place as any. BTW, there is nothing about NC which precludes future contact. In fact, future contact can be one healthy outcome of NC. It all depends on your personality, your commitment and how you want to live your life. If nothing else, think of NC as a positive way to reinvent yourself and your relationship potential.
Author Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Thats exactly the way I am looking at it now. NC is for me to become a stronger, better old me again who doesnt need this woman in his life, but wants this woman in his life. If it happens it happens, if it doesnt I know that I will be able to move on without the intensity of the emotional drama of the last month, in which I have had contact. NC feels better and I get a chance to sift through my feeling and seperate them from the rest of me.
huck Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Hi Soul.. I know your in NC (me too at the mo ). But knowing what you know now - what would you honestly do if she came crawling back?? Carhill always give open and honest advice and I agree with what hes said above - but would you be tempted to take her back.. Im not trying to change your mind - but im in the same kinda of situation as you.. Huck...
fabulous_chk Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 My prediction is she will come back to you, you will become a total doormat for her, she gets bored of you, and dumps you again for fresh meat. Sorry to be so brutal. Dude don't waste your time on her. You deserve better.
Author Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Not brutal at all. I could do better looks wise, but its that soul connection that we have/had that is the part I dont want to lose! Im begining to think the same things. I couldnt trust her again I dont think. Its still interesting to hear other peoples views tho
Author Soul Bear Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Hi Soul.. I know your in NC (me too at the mo ). But knowing what you know now - what would you honestly do if she came crawling back?? Carhill always give open and honest advice and I agree with what hes said above - but would you be tempted to take her back.. Im not trying to change your mind - but im in the same kinda of situation as you.. Huck... Honestly? I would be a bit hesitant to say the least. There is also an element of trust that has been severly broken, and that after all is the foundation of any relationship...on top of that the way she handeled the breakup was terrible too. I really cant trust her.... It would take alot of arse kissing, alot of proof, alot of everything that she just cant give me right now and then some... The more time goes on, and the more I find out, I really dont know what I wouold do. Carhill is great, I agree. Always giving sound advice
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