Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/337/8/509 Here's where I got that information from. Is it possible that one with HSV-2, already had HSV-1, but never knew, then infected the second person with HSV-2? As to the study, I don't see where your statement is cited? That study is limited to contraction of HSV during pregnancy only. As for the second part, if that were true, wouldn't that also defeat your statement that people generally cannot have both?? That said, no... they had full blood studies run prior to marriage (even those crazy full-body diagnostics which look for tumors). She had HSV-1 only, and he had HSV-2 only. Two years later, they're now married and recently tested for life insurance, and now both have both (and also have had both's typical symptoms). That 90% statistic seems outrageously high. Do you have a source for it? I've heard and read that by the time they're about 18, 50% of teenagers have HSV-1. Imagine after all the kissin' those kiddos do, and the number is going to increase dramatically. Plus, add oral-sex to the mix, and HSV-1 isn't going to remain on the mouth.
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Here's what I found. 50% of teenagers to young adults have HSV-1 antibodies. 80 - 90% of people 50 and older, have HSV-1 antibodies. http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html Does this mean they've been exposed to HSV-1 but not necessarily been infected or does this mean they've been infected? I'm guessing it's the latter but does anyone know for certain? If they have the antibodies, they HAVE it. Exposure means nothing if you don't have the antibodies. You're exposed to communicable diseases every single day.
dreamergrl Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 If they have the antibodies, they HAVE it. Exposure means nothing if you don't have the antibodies. You're exposed to communicable diseases every single day. And there are those who the antibodies have not yet shown up, it can take up to four months. Lets not forget those who have not been tested, but are infected as well.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 As to the study, I don't see where your statement is cited? That study is limited to contraction of HSV during pregnancy only.Pregnancy or not, pregnancy doesn't combat HSV in any way so your body would react the same way, no? As the study is from the New England Journal of Medicine and is quoted by many other sources as the reduction of percentage and immunization effects of HSV-2, I tend to believe it. As for the second part, if that were true, wouldn't that also defeat your statement that people generally cannot have both?? Reread my statement. You've twisted my words. I said that there's less likely chance of acquiring HSV-2, if you have HSV-1. Also, HSV-2 immunizes a person from HSV-1. Immunization doesn't guarantee a 100% protection, just way higher protection than not being immunized. That said, no... they had full blood studies run prior to marriage (even those crazy full-body diagnostics which look for tumors). She had HSV-1 only, and he had HSV-2 only. Two years later, they're now married and recently tested for life insurance, and now both have both (and also have had both's typical symptoms).I'm no doctor and neither are you. Who knows if this couple is an anomaly or not. I've heard and read that by the time they're about 18, 50% of teenagers have HSV-1. Imagine after all the kissin' those kiddos do, and the number is going to increase dramatically. Plus, add oral-sex to the mix, and HSV-1 isn't going to remain on the mouth.Refer to my posted link below. It agrees with your 50% statistic. I've also verified that having the anti-bodies, does mean you've been infected. The 80-90%, is a figure for people over 50. So, anyone between the ages of say 21 - 49, has far less than the 90% originally quoted by dreamergrl.
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 TBF, if by 18, 50% of the population has HSV-1, then why is the prevalence of HSV-2 so high, if having one immunizes one from the other... how can that be?? Doesn't make sense to me, or the medical community.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 TBF, if by 18, 50% of the population has HSV-1, then why is the prevalence of HSV-2 so high, if having one immunizes one from the other... how can that be?? Doesn't make sense to me, or the medical community.HSV-2 has the immunization effect, not HSV-1. HSV-1 reduces the risk by something like 40%, of acquiring HSV-2.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Btw, the statistics for the U.S., are that approximately one in five adolescents to adults, have genital herpes, which equals 20%. Of this 20%, the vast majority have HSV-2. http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm The figures quoted for HSV-1 previously, weren't that pertinent to genital herpes.
missmich Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I have genital herpes. It sucks,but it really isn't that bad. At first I was angry and upset and confused as to how I'd gotten it since it had been awhile since I'd been with anyone when it showed up. I think I got it from a bf who had cheated on me. I guess how I got it doesn't matter so much now though. At first I was scared to date and avoided it. I didn't know when or how to tell anyone I had it. Obviously before having sex though or going beyond kissing. I was doing the on-line dating thing and when I'd chat to some of the guys I'd tell them then as kinda a test. If they stopped chatting to me then I knew they were'nt worth meeting. If they were stupid about what it is,they were also not worth meeting. I know not everyone is educated about it and so I don't mind answering questions. I don't really have an answer for when to tell someone you have herpes. I think you just use your intuition and see how things are going. I try to see how the man I date will react to it and how educated he is about it and how open he is to learning more about it. The guy I'm dating now I told sorta in the heat of the moment which isn't the best idea. It was the 4th date and we'd been kissing and he wanted a little more and so did I. I had him stop and said I had to tell him something and gave us a few minutes to catch or breath. I wanted to be sure he was really listening and understanding what I was telling him so he could make his choice with his brain and not his penis. He was ok with it and I asked if he knew what it was and had any questions. Then I explained how I think I got it and what it was like for me and stuff and said that if there were any outbreaks or possible ones I'd let him know and we would not be doing anything during that time. We ended up folling around later that night,but didn't have sex for another week after. I'm very lucky that I only have an issue with it maybe 1 time a year.
brokenglass Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Some of the responses in this thread are ridiculous. Telling someone you have herpes on the first date? Are you serious? While I'm at it, why don't I introduce them to my parents, open a joint bank account and give them a key to my apartment? This is something that is extremely personal. A lot of times, this isn't something people just hear and go "Oh that's no big deal, don't worry about it!" My advice: If you want to continue to have dates, wait some time to get to know someone and give them a chance to get to know the real you. If you're going to kiss, make sure your mouth is clean. If you're going to obsess over the fact it can be transmitted through touch then maybe you should stay single forever, and for people who are paranoid they'll get herpes by their arms getting touched, maybe you should live in a bubble. You have to give someone a chance to know who you are, what kind of person you are, your personality, all that. Because once that happens, you sit them down and explain this virus you have, at least the chances of them making a decision based on who you are rather than what you have is much higher, pending you are dating mentally healthy people. Besides, HSV-1 or even HSV-2 is not the end of the world. Take care of yourself, eat healthy foods, take your medication, exercise, be a healthy person and you and your partner will not have much to worry about. This isn't AIDS people. Relax.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I think there are people who believe in open disclosure at the get-go and others who don't, for all kinds of things they find personal. For example, on the first date, I disclose that I'm divorced and that my ex-H cheated on me. Many people believe that being cheated on, makes you some kind of loser. I'm fine with that, since I'd rather ditch someone with this belief, on the first date, rather than wasting time, energy and emotion. It would hurt much worse if I got rejected, post-investment.
brokenglass Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I think there are people who believe in open disclosure at the get-go and others who don't, for all kinds of things they find personal. For example, on the first date, I disclose that I'm divorced and that my ex-H cheated on me. Many people believe that being cheated on, makes you some kind of loser. I'm fine with that, since I'd rather ditch someone with this belief, on the first date, rather than wasting time, energy and emotion. It would hurt much worse if I got rejected, post-investment. I'll accept that, it seems to depend on the type of person you're dating. Its just that telling a woman I have herpes is definitely not something I would do on the first date, in fact its not something I would do until I felt like there might be intimacy. I would feel retarded if I went out on a date with a woman who had no interest in sexual activity and I busted out with this information. I think the best course of action, as with anything involving dating or relationships, is to gauge the person you're with, gauge what you want out of it and figure it out from there. There might be circumstances where its necessary to come out and say it and others where it might be wise to wait. I still don't think telling someone you've been cheated on and divorced is as bad as telling them you have an incurable virus.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I'll accept that, it seems to depend on the type of person you're dating. Its just that telling a woman I have herpes is definitely not something I would do on the first date, in fact its not something I would do until I felt like there might be intimacy. I would feel retarded if I went out on a date with a woman who had no interest in sexual activity and I busted out with this information. I think the best course of action, as with anything involving dating or relationships, is to gauge the person you're with, gauge what you want out of it and figure it out from there. There might be circumstances where its necessary to come out and say it and others where it might be wise to wait. I still don't think telling someone you've been cheated on and divorced is as bad as telling them you have an incurable virus. It doesn't matter to me who the other person is, I still divulge. There's also a lot of other things I divulge, which would probably floor more private people. I can understand not wanting to tell anyone if you're not interested in dating them again.
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Btw, the statistics for the U.S., are that approximately one in five adolescents to adults, have genital herpes, which equals 20%. Of this 20%, the vast majority have HSV-2. http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm The figures quoted for HSV-1 previously, weren't that pertinent to genital herpes. Isn't that figure for those who KNOW they have it? There's a statistic out there that says up to 75-80% of people who have it, don't know they do, because standard STD panels do not test for it and many either don't have symptoms or confuse them for something else (like a yeast infection). Any which way you look at it, it's incredibly common.
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Also, there are certain personal things I don't disclose on a first date, such as the affect real milk, cheese, and ice cream has on my bowels. Now THAT can be a mood killer.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Isn't that figure for those who KNOW they have it? There's a statistic out there that says up to 75-80% of people who have it, don't know they do, because standard STD panels do not test for it and many either don't have symptoms or confuse them for something else (like a yeast infection). Any which way you look at it, it's incredibly common. No, they took blood tests of 11,000 random people, to come up with the figures. http://www.aegis.com/news/ads/2006/AD061550.html
bac Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 If you have no active lesions on your genitalia during intercourse you can not give him herpes. You can not give him herpes if you use condoms as well. Probability that female gives herpes to male is very little. But if male has herpes it is easy to give it to a girl. It is good idea to tell him only if you have active lesions and you do not use condoms during sex. Many people have herpes but they have lesions just once per year because they have normal immune system.
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 If you have no active lesions on your genitalia during intercourse you can not give him herpes. You can not give him herpes if you use condoms as well. Probability that female gives herpes to male is very little. But if male has herpes it is easy to give it to a girl. It is good idea to tell him only if you have active lesions and you do not use condoms during sex. Many people have herpes but they have lesions just once per year because they have normal immune system. Every single one of your statements is absolutely not true!
dreamergrl Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 If you have no active lesions on your genitalia during intercourse you can not give him herpes. You can not give him herpes if you use condoms as well. Probability that female gives herpes to male is very little. But if male has herpes it is easy to give it to a girl. It is good idea to tell him only if you have active lesions and you do not use condoms during sex. Many people have herpes but they have lesions just once per year because they have normal immune system. I hope you don't teach sex ed... Anyways... I think that it's one in four and one in five - for male and female, or it's female and male. I know there's a statistic difference for the two genders. I still can't find that freaking site though.
BUENG1 Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 If you have no active lesions on your genitalia during intercourse you can not give him herpes. You can not give him herpes if you use condoms as well. Probability that female gives herpes to male is very little. But if male has herpes it is easy to give it to a girl. It is good idea to tell him only if you have active lesions and you do not use condoms during sex. Many people have herpes but they have lesions just once per year because they have normal immune system. Everything in this paragraph is false!
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Also, there are certain personal things I don't disclose on a first date, such as the affect real milk, cheese, and ice cream has on my bowels. Now THAT can be a mood killer. Oooh, lactose intolerance. Stbx has that. Happy day
missmich Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Condoms don't protect against herpes at all. Not unless they actually cover the area that the sores appear on. Not always,but for some people with herpes when they have an outbreak they only have one small area that they get sores on. Condoms may not cover that area though. You can still transfer the virus even if there is no outbreak and hasn't been for awhile,though the risk is very small. This is why if you do have herpes you need to educate yourself by asking your doctor or nurse questions and learning from a good reputable site like mayoclinic or something. Then when you tell someone you have it have some answers for them and make sure they know the facts as well. It's a good idea to have some brochures from the doctors office with you. It may not sound that sexy,but hey it works.
Author pandagirl Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Hey everyone. Good to see this thread is still going! I just got back from an island getaway. Ahhh. Update on my guy: we had our second date before I left for my trip. It was great. He is great. We ended up making out again at his place (nothing below the belt), but I stopped it and went home. He called me while I was away, but I haven't talked to him yet since I just got back. We've only been on two dates, but I'm pretty sure I will have the talk with him the next time I see him. I'll just have to feel things out. He's a really nice guy, open-minded and compassionate. I might like him a little too much, which makes this all the scarier. The worst thing that can happen is he will "reject" me, but in the kindest way possible. I'm really glad that this thread is getting people talking about herpes. The more we talk about it and learn about it, we become educated and the fear and stigma of this virus will lessen. Of course, I still get scared and angry that I have this sometimes, mainly because it's just unfair. But the bottom line is if someone can't see past this virus and appreciate me for who I am as a person, it's OK. Someone who really likes me, will be able to accept me. I'm much more than a skin irritation.
mixwell Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Hey guys, so not to bring up the whole herpes things again, haha, but I have a question to ask: I will never NOT tell a person I'm dating that I don't have herpes. I will always tell. That being said, I'm wondering at what point to exactly tell (obviously before sex). The last guy I dated that I told, I told on the fourth date. I had spent the night at his place on the 3rd date, although nothing went beyond making out with all our clothes on. I knew we were headed towards sex, so that I why I told him on the fourth date. Now, I have a second date tonight. The first date, we did a lot of making out. I don't plan on telling him so soon, but I feel if we end up making out a lot again -- nothing beyond first or second base -- is this in a way leading him on, or can be construed as me being dishonest? I'd like to hear people's opinions. thanks! I don't know what kinda herpes you're talking about but I get them around my mouth every once in a while and I know mine is hereditary so I can't do much about it... Wasn't like i was whoring myself to chicks but personally I have never brought it up unless it started to show.. A quick tip if you have oral herpes and best cure.. I pop them with a needle and us neo sporin on them. Seriously mine last about 3-4 days and usually on the 4th day you can barely tell its there.. I have a co-worker who gets them too but hers last for like 1-2 weeks. I have suggest my method to her as well but for the last 2 years I've been doing the same thing and they go away really quick.. she take liosine pills and uses whatever.. I hit that crap up where it is and like I said mine go away after 3-4 days completely after popping them, using a tissue to get the fluid out and then using anti biotic cream. My ex I was with never got em and was with me when I got em.. I explained it all to her and basically when an outbreak happened we wouldn't kiss or no oral etc until it was cleared up.... she never got it from me so yea.. GL.. Sucks when you get it involuntary I know that much.
brokenglass Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 bac is not entirely false everyone. Unless you're living with this then you can't understand. Herpes isn't like, a common cold. I can't pat you on the back and give you herpes, and likewise you cannot run your hand on my face and give me herpes. It doesn't work that way despite what you may read. I don't know about HSV-2 and other types but HSV-1 is so common its ridiculous. There's this undertone in this thread that people with herpes should be avoided at all costs. I guess that's your decision, but if I met a woman I liked that had it, took care of herself and told me if she was having issues, I would put it aside and be safe about it. Its not like we're talking about HIV. A person with absolutely zero sores, zero outbreaks, absolutely clean, on medication, in good health and stress free, WITH condoms on, yeah point me to a case where someone contracted the death sentence that is herpes and I'll become a priest tomorrow. Especially if we're talking about HSV-1 here, I mean give me a break. People get cold sores on their mouths all the time.
stepka Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 If you have no active lesions on your genitalia during intercourse you can not give him herpes. You can not give him herpes if you use condoms as well. Probability that female gives herpes to male is very little. But if male has herpes it is easy to give it to a girl. It is good idea to tell him only if you have active lesions and you do not use condoms during sex. Many people have herpes but they have lesions just once per year because they have normal immune system. Actually this is true. I had a long, long talk w/ my doctor about it, and while it's possible to get herpes when no active lesions are present, the possibility is remote. Same w/ condom use, though I would hold off while active lesions are present. So this is true in more than 99.9% of cases. You just have to be smart about it--it's not a given that you will get HSV from your partner if he or she has an inactive case of it.
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