carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I will provide an example from real life. Married female friend of wife has a 'drinking problem'. She has, in full view of both spouses, made repeated inappropriate sexual advances and or comments to me over a long period of time. We also have had 'talks' where I've seen 'the other side' of her everyday civilized behavior. In one moment, she is flirtatious and sexual. A few hours later, cold and distant. IMO, her drinking is a medication for other issues. Her aura appears to me to be 'confused' as in not clearly defined. It is hard to get a clear read on her personality; 'who she is'. As I tend to attract such women, it is not a surprise that I run into this problem, and often. I have my own psychological work to do. But, that said, I do have a lot of life experience with such women and have observed patterns to develop, which I'm commenting on. Hope that helps
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Hi Quagmire. I don't think he was pointing the finger and not everyone who drinks has a problem. Alcohol is only a problem if it negatively affects your life and despite these negative affects one continues to drink/use. If someone can drink, gamble, masturbate, etc, and do it without feeling they always have to control it or it will get out of control then more power to that person. If someone's good behavior sober is only enhanced by alcohol I don't foresee that as a problem. Anyway.........I just wanted to try to clarify. Actually, I believe he's suggesting that everyone who drinks alcohol has Borderline Personality Disorder.
Author MeMyself&I Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 I will provide an example from real life. Married female friend of wife has a 'drinking problem'. She has, in full view of both spouses, made repeated inappropriate sexual advances and or comments to me over a long period of time. We also have had 'talks' where I've seen 'the other side' of her everyday civilized behavior. In one moment, she is flirtatious and sexual. A few hours later, cold and distant. IMO, her drinking is a medication for other issues. Her aura appears to me to be 'confused' as in not clearly defined. It is hard to get a clear read on her personality; 'who she is'. As I tend to attract such women, it is not a surprise that I run into this problem, and often. I have my own psychological work to do. But, that said, I do have a lot of life experience with such women and have observed patterns to develop, which I'm commenting on. Hope that helps I can relate to this from both sides. Personally, without a father in my life and then a mother who would not let me date......AT ALL even mixers and hanging out with guy peers or double dates til I was 16........I was at a loss on how to interact with men. When I drank I felt I could hold my own. When I was sober.....I was shy and awkward. Now I've learned to like myself sober and others do too. I'm an awesome sober person.....but I say that cause I was a sorry........drunk! Well most of the time!
BCCA Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Actually, I believe he's suggesting that everyone who drinks alcohol has Borderline Personality Disorder. I dont think thats what he meant, but if you drink to get drunk everynight of the week...I think thats a problem.
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 The friend in my story, whom I love dearly, said to me, clearly, that, in the state when she is not sober allows her 'repressed side' to come out. I told her I love and value all of who she is and support her. Her work and her path are her own. As I said prior, I'm not judging, merely observing and forming opinion from that experience. When I've had a few (I don't drink often), my sarcastic wit tends to get a bit more razor sharp and also a bit more self-deprecating. Regulars here will notice it in my postings. After a long weekend of mostly sober home construction, I'm now self-medicating with coffee
westernxer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 When I've had a few (I don't drink often), my sarcastic wit tends to get a bit more razor sharp and also a bit more self-deprecating. Regulars here will notice it in my postings. Drunk posting is the most fun I've ever had on the Internet. LOL
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 My chemical imbalance gets worse in summer. I don't know what sunshine does to my brain but I totally need alcohol and sex pretty much daily to balance it out. I am honest so I am honest when I drink. I just say a lot more. Now my BF not so much. He's iffy when he drinks. Sometimes he likes to brag and make up stories. He doesn't realize that he honestly has enough to be bragging on himself about. Alcohol is not his friend.
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Drunk posting is the most fun I've ever had on the Internet. LOL TBH, LS has given some of the most thoroughly enjoyable sober belly laughs I've had in recent memory, short of being with close friends. Regardless of the differences of opinion we might have, it's a great place and great 'fun' therapy, IMO. Alcohol not required, but enjoyed
BubblyPopcorn Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm now self-medicating with coffee Coffee has many anti-oxidants, so it's okay :bunny:
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 The friend in my story, whom I love dearly, said to me, clearly, that, in the state when she is not sober allows her 'repressed side' to come out. I told her I love and value all of who she is and support her. Her work and her path are her own. As I said prior, I'm not judging, merely observing and forming opinion from that experience. When I've had a few (I don't drink often), my sarcastic wit tends to get a bit more razor sharp and also a bit more self-deprecating. Regulars here will notice it in my postings. After a long weekend of mostly sober home construction, I'm now self-medicating with coffee So you're assuming that I have Borderline Personality Disorder based on the dealings of your one alcoholic friend?
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Dude, I wasn't even talking to you, but, if you want to go there, PM me
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Sometimes alcohol can cause such an imbalance that paranoia and delusions occur. Especially if it is always actively present in one's system. I made that up.
BCCA Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 So you're assuming that I have Borderline Personality Disorder based on the dealings of your one alcoholic friend? If you seriously drink yourself drunk everynight, than yes, you have a problem.
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 If you seriously drink yourself drunk everynight, than yes, you have a problem. Says who? Let's say I drink a couple glasses of whisky when I get home from work ... play with my kid ... watch a little TV ... tickle my wife ... then the wife and kid go to bed, I have 2 or 3 more glasses ... finish up some work and go to bed. I'm every bit as impaired as someone who drank 5 or 6 glasses of whiskey at a bar. Am I better or worse than that person? Now let's say I wake up every morning and go to work. My home life nor my professional life are affected ... yet, I'm *technically* drunk every night (which is subjective to begin with). Now let's say a local bar whore goes to the club, downs 5 or 6 glasses of whisky, passes out in some strange dudes bed, forgets to pick up her kid from the babysitters and blows off work twice a week. Are we on the same level? We're both Borderline? Because the constant is "alcohol" in this experiment?
BCCA Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Ask yourself this: why do you have to drink everyday? Anything done in excess is unhealthy, especially if you cannot go without it.
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Ask yourself this: why do you have to drink everyday? Anything done in excess is unhealthy, especially if you cannot go without it. I drink for the same reason I used to smoke ... habitual enjoyment. Human beings are creatures of habit, first and foremost. And I actually ENJOYED smoking. I didn't want to quit but did so for the sake of my newborn. (The whole 3rd hand smoke nonsense has really gained some steam as of late.) At any rate ... I never found myself saying "Man, times are so tough right now, I need to smoke". Its just something I did when I got in the car. And I enjoyed the act of smoking. Same goes for drinking. I get home, pour a glass of whisky ... part habit ... part because I enjoy it. I like the taste. I like the warmth. I like the sheepish smile that slowly creeps across my face. I like the looseness of it all. I find it a bit ironical that Suzy Soccermom gets that same feeling from a prescription of Xanax but she's not judged because some douchebag beat her for $250 an hour and told her its acceptable. As an aside, I don't drink to drown out human emotions. But fear, anger, sadness ... even happiness (in bipolars) can all be muted through the therapy racket for the right price. I think that's dangerous. Humans are meant to feel emotions. The last thing I want is to have my fight or flight response supressed by paxil and get my ass kicked by a mugger. And the whole time I'm smiling because some ******* who couldn't cut it as a real medical doctor told me I have a personality disorder. Psychiatry should be part of the natural sciences, not the medical profession. And portrayed by an evolution-like tree because it's merely the classification of personality traits in human beings. I'll save you the suspense ... ALL of us have some sort of "personality disorder" (or many disorders). Trying to create a generalization based on alcohol ... or food ... or cigarettes ... or gambling ... or sport ***cing ... or beating your wife ... is pointless. So don't try to tell me everyone who drinks has Borderline Personality Disorder. That's just foolish.
BCCA Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Personality disorder never came from me. I just stated, and stand by that statement, that if you HAVE to drink everyday, for whatever reason, than you have a problem. I'm not in a position to judge how you handle yourself in daily life, seeing as I dont know you, and you could very well be a great guy. Just know that there are functional alcoholics out there, how seem to get by just fine, except for the fact that they need a bottle of jack everynight. Not healthy. Do what you will, Im sure you would never change your life over the words of someone from a message board, I was merely stating that you might want to ask yourself why you need that whiskey at the end of the day, and whether you could get by without it. No offense, Im not calling you any names, I just had a dad that was the same way with painkillers, and he always had a 'reason' that he couldnt stop taking them today. Tomorrow maybe, but not today...
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Glenn Quagmire.. you seem to do an awful lot of justifying your drinking and we are a bunch of strangers.. Are you sure you are not an Alcoholic ? Are you sure your wife is all fine with your drinking or is she just making what she seems is the best of a bad situation.. Are sure you are not easier to be around drunk so she lets you self medicate.. These are all maybes and no judgment coming from me but I was trying to get you to think about something other than mental illness for a second
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Personality disorder never came from me. I just stated, and stand by that statement, that if you HAVE to drink everyday, for whatever reason, than you have a problem. I'm not in a position to judge how you handle yourself in daily life, seeing as I dont know you, and you could very well be a great guy. Just know that there are functional alcoholics out there, how seem to get by just fine, except for the fact that they need a bottle of jack everynight. Not healthy. Do what you will, Im sure you would never change your life over the words of someone from a message board, I was merely stating that you might want to ask yourself why you need that whiskey at the end of the day, and whether you could get by without it. No offense, Im not calling you any names, I just had a dad that was the same way with painkillers, and he always had a 'reason' that he couldnt stop taking them today. Tomorrow maybe, but not today... I go weeks at a time without drinking at all. Does that mean my personality disorder temporarily goes away?
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Glenn Quagmire.. you seem to do an awful lot of justifying your drinking and we are a bunch of strangers.. Are you sure you are not an Alcoholic ? Are you sure your wife is all fine with your drinking or is she just making what she seems is the best of a bad situation.. Are sure you are not easier to be around drunk so she lets you self medicate.. These are all maybes and no judgment coming from me but I was trying to get you to think about something other than mental illness for a second I'm not an alcoholic for the simple fact that I don't drink to get drunk (according to AA). Sometimes It just sort of happens. Other times I don't get past a light buzz. If you want to get away from mental illness, we can talk about how social status affects perception. Like how my loaded rich uncle can drink 4 glasses of wine with dinner and two martinis afterwards and nobody would ever suggest he's an alcoholic. Probably because he runs a successful business and drives a Carrera. Meanwhile, my cousin (other side of the family) drinks a 6 pack of Miller High Life a night and he's dubbed a societal plague ... because he makes $12 an hour and just went through his second divorce. In reality, Uncle John is consuming more alcohol than Cousin Jimmy.
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm not an alcoholic for the simple fact that I don't drink to get drunk (according to AA). Sometimes It just sort of happens. Other times I don't get past a light buzz. If you want to get away from mental illness, we can talk about how social status affects perception. Like how my loaded rich uncle can drink 4 glasses of wine with dinner and two martinis afterwards and nobody would ever suggest he's an alcoholic. Probably because he runs a successful business and drives a Carrera. Meanwhile, my cousin (other side of the family) drinks a 6 pack of Miller High Life a night and he's dubbed a societal plague ... because he makes $12 an hour and just went through his second divorce. In reality, Uncle John is consuming more alcohol than Cousin Jimmy. Yes but maybe Uncle John is not an alcoholic but Cousin Jimmy is. Maybe Cousin Jimmy lies about his alcohol consumption but Uncle John can stop at two martinis. It's amazing how much attention you give to the drinking habits of others. Alcohol does seem to be a big focus for you. I could really give a rats ass about how much somebody drinks but then again I don't need to justify my drinking habits to anybody least of all myself. I'm not an alcoholic.
sxyNYCcpl Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Drunk posting is the most fun I've ever had on the Internet. LOL Perhaps we need a button we can press when we are PUI (Posting Under the Influence) which will alert readers to that condition so they may factor that into their analysis of our points.
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I'm not an alcoholic for the simple fact that I don't drink to get drunk (according to AA). In reality, Uncle John is consuming more alcohol than Cousin Jimmy. Actually AA never defines who is or isn't an Alcoholic, they leave that up to the individual who is looking to quit drinking as to whether or not they consider themselves one and allows them to work thru this in the steps.. AA also only requires that someone has a desire to quit to participate.. You yourself define whether or not you are a drunk... But.. if I had to hazard a guess thru reading your posts I would say that you are in the process of deciding whether you are an alcoholic or not... I can't make that choice and neither can anybody here.. but you can... I would also hazard a guess that your wife might have a slightly different viewpoint on your drinking.. if you really do drink to the excess you have posted about that is.. As far as Alcohol being a truth serum.. I don't buy into that idea.. I was the same person drunk as I was sober as far as honesty goes.. which means I was very dishonest with myself for the most part and in denial about my drinking for the other part... So Alcohol didn't make me tell the truth.. if anything it made me lie a bunch.
BCCA Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I go weeks at a time without drinking at all. Does that mean my personality disorder temporarily goes away? Glenn, dude...again, I never said anything about personality disorders. And honestly, how would anyone know you well enough to make that call off a message board? And you go weeks at a time without drinking at all, thats what I was getting at. People that have serious problems cant go even one day without it.
westernxer Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 My chemical imbalance gets worse in summer. I don't know what sunshine does to my brain but I totally need alcohol and sex pretty much daily to balance it out. Sunshine creates more serotonin, which is why rainy days make people depressed. Would Prozac help? Just wondering. Blessed be the guy who dates you in the summer. LOL
Recommended Posts