bluewolf17 Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I am mostly joking Swear. I just got back to work from a 3 day memorial weekend. I thought I would be so sad-knowing we always spend that weekend camping and rafting. I was sad, but not as sad as I thought. I had a BBQ at my place, I went hiking at Mt. St. Helens, and I went Wakeboarding/Jetskiing. And while I missed him, I was okay. I still had fun. I don't even rememer what day of NC I am on..maybe 14? I am not sure. Then last night hit. I went to bed, and had these dreams about him. Sweet, sad, sexy and lonlely dreams. I woke up in a sweat. I hate those dreams! And it set the tone for today. It's been so long since we spoke, and that last time we spoke, it wasn't good. He told me he didn't want to be with me, and only missed me sometimes. I just keep repeating that, like a mantra. It keeps me from reaching out to him. But I am much, much better than before. NC does work, and I am healing. The best part, is that I cut him out. He didn't want that. He still wanted to know what I was up to, and occasionally talk. But he didn't want to be with me, so I had to end it. I love that he gets to know nothing about me. He can't see my online profiles. Plus, he always knew and said that I am the kind of girl that is never single for long. And after we broke up, each time I saw him he asked if I was taken yet. Now even though I am no where near ready to date again, I love that he probably thinks I am. How is everyone elses NC? Keep the good post's going!
gypsi Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 hey bluewolf Yeah those are def. signs that you are bi-polar jokes he he, dreams are the worst they happen to me all the time i wish you could block your dreams aswell that would be awsome! I am on day 8 of NC and i descided today to block her from FB after i saw pics of her with her previous ex it hurt like hell i cried like a baby...and now i am just angry and pissed off!!! When will i ever feel normal again? I hate myself for ***ing up so badly i do believe i deserve a second chance, but she's totally against it. No contact is hard but i do feel like it make you feel better i believe in "out of sight out of mind". I know she will be pissed off that i blocked her from facebook coz she's they i want to stay friends after a break up kinda girl, and im the all or nothing type which she says is immature. After the breakup i couldnt sleep i use to wake up in a sweat and have a panick attack i started taking herbal sleeping pills for a while i stupidly told her this one night when i drunken dialed her and then she said she had enought of me and my drama!! Wtf??? anyways lets support each other with the NC i cant wait to reach 3 months maybe il feel better by then coz this sucks majorly.
carhill Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 You're not bi-polar, if you're thinking what you've posted is any indication. Keep up the NC and re-assess at 30 days. I think you'll see what I'm talking about
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