Think he's cut me off because he cant handle me being sick

[haven'tlearned]

Well the title describes it in a nutshell really. I feel terrible.

 

Background: the guy and I concerned aren't in a relationship at this point and its long distance. He's in UK I am in Australia. I visited in January (first visit) and we kind of "fell". We have been talking since July last year. About a month ago I basically told him we should see other people because I didn't think it could work with the distance and I felt no real commitment from him, therefore reluctant to fork out money to visit. But we were still talking most everynight on msn and webcam. We sort of agreed to be "cyber lovers", "friends", or some such vague thing. Prior to this he was very keen on me, sent me gifts, was excited about me coming to visit again - but I found out I had to have an operation that was going to cost me the money I otherwise could have spent on a plane ticket. Additionally, as I said, he was also non-committal - no sign of an actual relationship now or in the future. So given all that I think I did the best thing, winding it back.

 

About a week ago I start to feel him get quite distant. He would still message me when I appeared on msn but he stopped initiating contact otherwise, and ignored a few of my emails. I know he's extremely stressed out with a situation with his flatmate at the moment. My operation was supposed to be today, although its been rescheduled (he doesn't know this). Anyway, I just felt very distinctly, he wasn't as into talking to me anymore. Now, he said he would talk to me last night before my operation. Nothing. I wasn't signed in for too long admittedly, because I am now scared to put myself in the position of being ignored or let down by him. But he didn't email me or anything. Just.. silence.

 

I am not contacting him either at this point. I am sick of felling rejected. I know we aren't in a relationship so I shouldn't expect anything from him, but he was a friend - and all my other friends text me to wish me the best, but from him, nothing.

 

I'm pretty much sure he hasn't met anyone else. He could be talking to someone else online, but...my feeling, the way this is all dovetailing together, is he is freaking out because I am vulnerable right now and kind of needing support. I haven't clung or intruded on him but he knows I am vulnerable and quite scared right now. I think my being vulnerable has made him lose feelings for me. To clarify, this isn't a "relationship" type of guy, in fact I have come to suspect he's what we call a "commitment phobe." He's been single four years. These thoughts of mine also factored into me cooling off the involvement a month ago. Anyway, I have dated CPs before and I know its exactly their style to disappear when there is a birthday, a meeting with parents or an illness, or anything that might require them to "be around." There have been a couple of occasions where he has pointedly ignored a request from me say to email me and let me know he was okay after he was down with flu. I feel guys do this deliberately sometimes, to let you know not to rely on them. Nonetheless it was very confusing because other times I would go away for a few days and come back to a flood of anxiety-stricken messages from him.

 

What should I do, if anything? I am really hurt that he is just cutting me off like this. But its probably for the best if I don't hear from him. What's the opinion on timeframe I should give him to get in touch before I delete him from msn and facebook and my life?

 

I did want to maintain some kind of contact with him but starting to feel its not worth the grief.

[haven'tlearned]

I am pretty upset, if someone could give me some advice I would really appreciate it..